University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

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grin, but appreciating the natural timid- ity of human nature in a college town, we generously overlooked the slight, and did our utmost to show our fraternal feeling by cheering the wayfarer with hearty and unbiased greeting: Small pox-Chicken pox-strict quaran- tine, Ruminate-Fumigate-We don't give a bean! As time went on we began to fear that Michael must sooner or later de- velop a yellow streak, he disposed of so many of the Small Pox proclamations. The City Council, however, displayed great civic spirit in making a special ap- propriation to enable the Board of Health to keep us supplied with these artistic posters, so all who ran might read. ' With this one exception-this pe- culiar taste for yellow literature, Mich- ael's behavior all through quarantine had been so exemplary we felt assured of a laudable future, and when once more we were allowed the sweet privi- lege of mingling with our fellow men, Michael was accorded privileges hither- to withheld. With the devotion of a lover the happy mascot attached himself to the late invalid, whose society he had been so long denied. And in sedatest fashion would he stroll with Pete on the latter's long walks to recover health, while Pete's girl, fof course Pete's girl was alongj, became very fond of the af- fectionate Michael. All might have been well, if the girl hadn't bought that new spring hat. Per- haps it was all right for her to satisfy her vanity with its purchase, but why in heaven's name did she consider it nec- essary to take the bonnet on a late twilight stroll? Who'd see the thing at night-and in the park?. Anyway, Michael was caught red- handed fMichae1 was so human we're sure you'll let the metaphor passj the discoverey beingmade as the last row of straw' was tickling hisdiscriminating palate. To the rest of us, the episode spelled good judgment on Michae1's part-Pat Donovan had seen the lid and said it was a fright, but we couldn't say to a patient just recuperating from re- cent illness that his lady lacked good taste in millinery. So we dutifully ex- tended our sympathy to the bereaved Pete. No need to say we'll make a long story short, for all there was to it would read like this: The girl lost the hat and Pete lost the girl. Then to us Peter said, This is the last straw Cthat was literal, you knowj, And was Michael worth all this? Now, Michael being Irish, the answer was obvious to all but Pete. Mary Estimus Barnes. Q 1 ff Qeventy-Eight

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'5-- fi , - - was our mascot's accomplice. You know the Irish will stand together! There are compensations in all things, however, and we feel sure that it was the splendid practice gained in sprint- ing after Michael that gave Fairy Wilkins First place in the Marathon last spring. It was. however. something of a blow when we were obliged to raise a fund to release the vagrant Michael from the city Pound, his incarceration having been at the instance of an outraged Prof.. one E. P. Speer, who has a pen- chant for early gardening. It was also something of a mystery to us-this get- ting Michael into the Pound. But these Profs. and city oflicials are a crafty lot, and we'll never believe but that Michael was lured there under false pretenses. Michael, you know, is that unsuspect- ing, and having just dined to his soul's content on juicy garden truck, he was, no doubt, in high good humor, and so, an easy victim to the wiles of these defend- ers- of the law. And as if it were not enough for us to pay the fine, the mem- bers of our rescuing committee were obliged to listen to a blustery justice of the Peace expatiate on the wounded feelings of the owner of the garden which had been so ruthlessly devastated by a worthless goat-a garden that had been coaxed into existence only after Weary Weeks of work by a patient P1'Of-, who prized the result of his toil far above the price of shekels. It 001115 be no balm to Prof. Speer's feelings, thun- dered the austere justice, to I'CCCiVC pecuniary recompense now, but thC,.1aW had no such contempt for lucre, and to prove it, that nervy Justice fined us alll, additional ten on general pri1'1CiP1C,Si Seventy-Seven ' En route home with the gormandizing Michael we stopped to view the re- ma1ns of Prof. Speer's garden and, by love! the Justice was right--there wasn't enough left of that lovely little cabbage patch to christen it brussels sprouts! On reflection we decided that it was no use nor was it any cheaper to put Michael on short rations at the Hall, as punishment for his unseemly be- havior, for in spite of us or outside au- thority he would forage for himself. Yet, after his experience in the Pound he seemed to realize the gravity of his latest trespass and remained close home for several days. We thought then we had really impressed him that the Jus- tice was not fooling when he said, An- other such caper and you will be obliged to dispose of that infernal goat!', So we heard no more complaints until when Pete Stapp came down with the small-pox, the neighbors all with one accord pointed the accusing, Finger at Michael, averring that his perambula- tions in remote sections 'of the city had been responsible for this awful judg- ment on our tribe. Being property own- ers we refused to have our patient trans- ported to the pest-house, and we held' out for our right to an investigation of the accused Michael, with the result that the most rigid inspection failed to re- veal a single germ of this eruptive feb- rile disease stalking abroad in Michael's curly coat or lurking in sinister glee anywhere about his goaty epidermis. So we all kept quarantine together. No doubt, to a less optimistic crowd, the studied persistence with which fel- 10W.,gitiZCnS of the town passed by on 'She other side when traversing our block, wouldhave been cause for cha-

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A, Moonlight pastel I-ILE moonlight fell full upon the greensvs ard of the nounds The oi r ' in ' greensward was soft, however, and the moonlight sustained no serious injuries. Between the third and fourth columns two figures, economiz- ing space in a manner painfully evident, might have been seen sitting. The voice of the youth, rising and falling to the music of the power-house, finally stag- gered to its feet and remarked: Winsome damsel, I am in love. I have arrived at this conclusion not has- tily, but after careful introspection and experimentation. Since first I met you I have been troubled, my most alarming symptom being an aching void. Tonight the throbbing of that vacuum has been so strong that I have been able to locate it in my heart. The voice of the youth choked with mingled emotion and tobacco, both 'of which he had been incessantly swallow- ing. Spreading a handkerchief upon the ground, he fell upon his knees, severing with his impetuosity the last bond of connection between his suspenders and blue-sky trousers. Oh, fairest of maids! he' pleaded, enter now into that emptiness and H11 it with thy light and lavender perfume. The fairest of maids smiled sadly and ve-nty-Nine abruptly. Her face wore that far-away expression so characteristic of the dome. I-Ier mind was wandering down the dim corridors of memory and had further to go than to the new library building. Her silence had the 'delicate odor .of Spear- mint. , The youth pressed her for an answer until his arm ached with exer- tion. Finally, after consulting her 'blue- book, she made reply: At present I am heart-free. How- ever, Johnnie jones is scheduled for two weeks from next Monday, until then I am thine. As the fatefulwords fell from her lips the youth caught them before they hit the grass and pressed them to his bosom. The maid leaned over and planted a kiss upon his youthful brow, coyly removing her teeth before doing. After regulating their hearts so as to run neck and neck, and combining their thoughts into one idea, they wandered out into the cold, unfeeling world, and naught could be heard in the column- punctured atmosphere save the strident bazoo of the bull frog in the sewer. e .Very respectfully submitted to the 1916 Shamrock. . Q Carl D. Green.