University of Missouri College of Engineering - Shamrock Yearbook (Columbia, MO)

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'5-- fi , - - was our mascot's accomplice. You know the Irish will stand together! There are compensations in all things, however, and we feel sure that it was the splendid practice gained in sprint- ing after Michael that gave Fairy Wilkins First place in the Marathon last spring. It was. however. something of a blow when we were obliged to raise a fund to release the vagrant Michael from the city Pound, his incarceration having been at the instance of an outraged Prof.. one E. P. Speer, who has a pen- chant for early gardening. It was also something of a mystery to us-this get- ting Michael into the Pound. But these Profs. and city oflicials are a crafty lot, and we'll never believe but that Michael was lured there under false pretenses. Michael, you know, is that unsuspect- ing, and having just dined to his soul's content on juicy garden truck, he was, no doubt, in high good humor, and so, an easy victim to the wiles of these defend- ers- of the law. And as if it were not enough for us to pay the fine, the mem- bers of our rescuing committee were obliged to listen to a blustery justice of the Peace expatiate on the wounded feelings of the owner of the garden which had been so ruthlessly devastated by a worthless goat-a garden that had been coaxed into existence only after Weary Weeks of work by a patient P1'Of-, who prized the result of his toil far above the price of shekels. It 001115 be no balm to Prof. Speer's feelings, thun- dered the austere justice, to I'CCCiVC pecuniary recompense now, but thC,.1aW had no such contempt for lucre, and to prove it, that nervy Justice fined us alll, additional ten on general pri1'1CiP1C,Si Seventy-Seven ' En route home with the gormandizing Michael we stopped to view the re- ma1ns of Prof. Speer's garden and, by love! the Justice was right--there wasn't enough left of that lovely little cabbage patch to christen it brussels sprouts! On reflection we decided that it was no use nor was it any cheaper to put Michael on short rations at the Hall, as punishment for his unseemly be- havior, for in spite of us or outside au- thority he would forage for himself. Yet, after his experience in the Pound he seemed to realize the gravity of his latest trespass and remained close home for several days. We thought then we had really impressed him that the Jus- tice was not fooling when he said, An- other such caper and you will be obliged to dispose of that infernal goat!', So we heard no more complaints until when Pete Stapp came down with the small-pox, the neighbors all with one accord pointed the accusing, Finger at Michael, averring that his perambula- tions in remote sections 'of the city had been responsible for this awful judg- ment on our tribe. Being property own- ers we refused to have our patient trans- ported to the pest-house, and we held' out for our right to an investigation of the accused Michael, with the result that the most rigid inspection failed to re- veal a single germ of this eruptive feb- rile disease stalking abroad in Michael's curly coat or lurking in sinister glee anywhere about his goaty epidermis. So we all kept quarantine together. No doubt, to a less optimistic crowd, the studied persistence with which fel- 10W.,gitiZCnS of the town passed by on 'She other side when traversing our block, wouldhave been cause for cha-

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' MICHAEL, Cr the Misdemeanors of a ascot HE idea of Shamrock Hall, the being without a mascot! When being without a mascot, When Bob Sands mentioned this glar- ing inconsistency to our little home cir- cle we stood aghast at the astounding fact. Such appalling lack must no longer be tolerated if we were to preserve our prestige. Q The sense of the entire meeting being unanimous in favor of immediate ac- quisition of the missing mascot, the only matter for real discussion was the choice of kind. In his usual generous spirit Bill Spikes offered his services and we all agreed that his Simian features and un- usual bent for mimicry were especially adapted to fill the bill of a certain kind of mascot, but his insatiable appetite for popcorn and peanuts frightened us from accepting his offer. As mascot, Bill, of course, would be exempt from ever treating himself. So there was method in his madness. True, with a hand organ he might prove a profitable investment but as Babe Williams pointed out, QBabe comes from B,ill's home townj, some one would always have to be along to see that the mascot didn't graft. However,', says Terry James, what care we for money? To this and a timely suggestion from Hank Morey we owe our wise selection -a choice that we considered mostirep- resentative since it led to the purchase of Michael. What, indeed, could be more appropriate for true followers of St. Patrick than a real Irish goat? And what an asset he would be to our initia- tion paraphernalia! Also, the saving in the hauling away of tin cans alone, would more than offset the purchase price. What a docile goat he was, as we led him home in the gloaming! So at- tentive to all we said-an attitude that promised ,much in regard to his amen- ability to instruction-instruction that would be so necessary to his education as mascot of a Hourishing institution like Shamrock Hall. He accepted food and drink in true meekness of spirit and it was this becoming manner that so en- deared him to each of the twenty En- gineers who stood watching in admira- tion. Sorne goat! was the unanimous verdict of the jury that saw him grow sleek and fat on the daily fare provided at our hall. And nothing but deep appreciation from Michael-naught save the most ex- emplary behavior from our mascot-a course that we now suspect was mapped out with malice aforethought, his sub- sequent actions bearing put our belief that this subdued preliminary training was for the sole purpose of conserving energy for future mischief. Our first perplexity arose when Mich- ael, in addition to the ample fare pro- vided, persisted in consuming ten-foot lengths of hempen rope, which left him free to choose his own digressions through the neighboring yards. The loan of a chain by a long suffering neighbor failed to solve the problem, and we have always suspected, but never have we been able to prove that Bridget Seventy-Six 1 l l I 1 l I W +51 A' Tn lm MS J' Elin latin It W IM ?:ni Ea RS lid .ix Eli -ai :d 3? S TSI 35 iii 2 A-2 'Wu Z'- gm 151 V1' E1-.. iw 551 .W 34 it l. wi l l

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grin, but appreciating the natural timid- ity of human nature in a college town, we generously overlooked the slight, and did our utmost to show our fraternal feeling by cheering the wayfarer with hearty and unbiased greeting: Small pox-Chicken pox-strict quaran- tine, Ruminate-Fumigate-We don't give a bean! As time went on we began to fear that Michael must sooner or later de- velop a yellow streak, he disposed of so many of the Small Pox proclamations. The City Council, however, displayed great civic spirit in making a special ap- propriation to enable the Board of Health to keep us supplied with these artistic posters, so all who ran might read. ' With this one exception-this pe- culiar taste for yellow literature, Mich- ael's behavior all through quarantine had been so exemplary we felt assured of a laudable future, and when once more we were allowed the sweet privi- lege of mingling with our fellow men, Michael was accorded privileges hither- to withheld. With the devotion of a lover the happy mascot attached himself to the late invalid, whose society he had been so long denied. And in sedatest fashion would he stroll with Pete on the latter's long walks to recover health, while Pete's girl, fof course Pete's girl was alongj, became very fond of the af- fectionate Michael. All might have been well, if the girl hadn't bought that new spring hat. Per- haps it was all right for her to satisfy her vanity with its purchase, but why in heaven's name did she consider it nec- essary to take the bonnet on a late twilight stroll? Who'd see the thing at night-and in the park?. Anyway, Michael was caught red- handed fMichae1 was so human we're sure you'll let the metaphor passj the discoverey beingmade as the last row of straw' was tickling hisdiscriminating palate. To the rest of us, the episode spelled good judgment on Michae1's part-Pat Donovan had seen the lid and said it was a fright, but we couldn't say to a patient just recuperating from re- cent illness that his lady lacked good taste in millinery. So we dutifully ex- tended our sympathy to the bereaved Pete. No need to say we'll make a long story short, for all there was to it would read like this: The girl lost the hat and Pete lost the girl. Then to us Peter said, This is the last straw Cthat was literal, you knowj, And was Michael worth all this? Now, Michael being Irish, the answer was obvious to all but Pete. Mary Estimus Barnes. Q 1 ff Qeventy-Eight