University of Minnesota - Gopher Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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Offiei rj. George P. Mkrrit.t,, ------ President L1T.1.1AN FUI.T.ER, ... ...-•- Vice-President M. Louise Foi,som. -...-.----- Secretary Wil.i,iAM Anous, - - - . Treasurer SiouRiJUK SiGVAi.nsoN, - - .---■---- - Historiaii Grace Khoades. .-,---------- Poet Ada Adams, ......------- Prodigy f iotory. A. D. 1889. — The class of Ninety Three came into existence. In this its first year of life, the only feature worth noting was in keeping: with its early yotith. It was in regard to the selection of class colors and never was sxich bad taste displayed, for fhe members chose theniost nauseating combination of chocolate, goholin bine androsepink. Horrible! A. D. ISDO. — Party ice crcani stolen. Also tried to mn a I- ' reshman meeting assisted by a few noble Juniors, and kicked down stairs. A. D. 1891. — One party and a superfluity of quiet and virtnc. Ninety Three always was a lamb like class. From the foregoing statements it will be seen that its career was un- checkered. But the Senior year was very different, for Ninety Three went to its timely end in a glorious and original death. It can truly be said that nothing so became it ' s life like the leaving of it. Jiine 4-. 1892, just after Ninety Two ' s brilliant Greek class day, and Ninety Three was in despair, to each member was issiied the following decree: Get towork; wits wanted; ideas needed: Class Day! Watchword! We must beat Ninety Two! Sept. 10, 1 SOL . Ninety Three mejts. Exchange of ideas created a buzz, no more, but it was enough. A circus! Jan. 19, 1893, .vlaria Sanford and Prexy engaged to drill the performers and George Hawley elected business manager. May 28, 1893, dress rehearsal. A ring and tent on the campus; play that tiinc of yoiirs, peremptorily orders his highness, the ringmaster, alias Heber Hartly, to the band, which is composed of Grace Walther and a co- lossal trumpet. We ' ll have the procession first. He snaps his whip and stamps about the saw dust in his smart top boots as if he owned the earth. All ready now. Dead silence in the dressing rooms. He becomes impatient. Why don ' t 3 ' ou start up. Miss Kellogg? This delay ' ll never do. Here its — Can ' t you wait a min- ute. shrieks Miss Kellogg from the other side of the tent. My horse is so frisky he ' s got away and I can ' t find the mueila.4e for my feet and ev- erything ' s wrong. Then a voice from theempty seats pipes up: I think its mighty mean 1 can ' t have a better part than selling peanuts in this old show anyway. That ' s all 3 ' ou think of my great foot-ball playing and all I ' ve done for — Shut yourmouth, Patterson, w ' ildly cries the filming ring- ' naster. Suddenly he sees t!ic procession coming, smiles and bows to Senior History

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6 Senior History sCi : --=- So the imaginary audience and announces, The lon and short of it. Then in comes Clara Kellogj?, pirouting graeeftilly on the bony back of a delapidated old street car horse, all grins and bows and spangles, iClara.not the horse), and in the hollow of her right hand stands Birdsall, with haughtily folded arms, head held high and blissfully unconscious of his un- certain footing. (He is dressed becomingly in pink.) Our star will now do thc.ium])ing— through the paper hoop— act, announces H. H. Well, hut what will I do with this? asks Claralooking vith much concern at Birdsall. Oh, I don ' t know — throw it at the clo vness. Clara promptly tosses her charge into ihe air and he is care- fully caught by the elowness. (who, l)y the way, is Miss Harris, well painted and loaded with jokes). She is a.s- sisted by the clown, George Merrill. ' Oh Miss Kellogg, erics Miss Sanford bustling up, be sure you don ' t forget to breathe with your diaph- ragm, Vou can throw your smiles so much farther, you know. Get out of the way Maria, shouts H. H. as he slashes the horse with his black-snake. The animal prances up to the first hoop, Clara attemps to dive through, but the paper is heavy and hard to break and she sticks half way and suspended in mid air sheclutches wildly with both her feet and her arms for some support. Finally the hoop breaks, she descends to the ground as gently as an iron rail might, smashes her nose and is jounced from the ring in tears and a wheel-barrow. The monkeys, announces His Highness, (as if they needed announcing), Monkey No, 1, and in dashes a fiery little Shetland pony to whose shaggy mane and back frantically clings the incorrigible Thomas, feroc- iously arrayed in a gorilla skin. Now Tom can lie about and bluff and play tennis, but he can ' t ride, and the little Shet- land has shaken and bumped him up and down till he is oil bruises and no breath. Oh Lord, he gasped, the tears rolling down his cheeks, please stop this— beast which— is — running away — I ' m sure— Oh I am very sure I— permit the descent of man. But the Lord doesn ' t hear and the pony didn ' t stop and poor Tom nearly dies. ' Tis to be hoped the