University Medical College - Scalpel Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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, 1 71.1 1 H411-1' 14,1 1 1111 .ix '51 Il 1 , I 1, 1 1, . I i 1 E111 111- iii' 1? 1 1 1 I 11 Vil- ll. ,1 1 L'! l11! 1li1 9. 11,1 111. 5,1 111, H1 1,1 I I 1 1 1 11 1l fls' l 1 1 1111 ,IM 11 V i 1 ll F 1 , , 1 Haigler has been sporting new clothes and plenty of money evervsince the foot- ball season closed. His father's lumber business is said to be picking up. Spray Cin histologyJ: Well, doctor, I can't see anything in this specimen today. He takes off the eye piece of his microscope and finds that the Sophomores have stuffed a wad of paper down it. Farr's daily song: Of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest is I've flunked again. Dr. Lowe fin phys-iologyjz The Germans like to make' blood pudding from coagu- lated blood. Bundgart fthe bloominest Dutchman that ever come down Fifth st.J: Well, don't the Irish like it, to-o, doctor? -m-, Glnllvgv Svpiritia SYNONYMS-Jackson's Metastatic Rooteritis, Frankenburger's Disease. DEFINITION-A highly contagious inflammatory mental condition of students, charac- terized by an exhilarative mania for supporting all college activities. LOCATION-As fo-und, usually occurs in epidemics. At U. M. C. it has been very fre- quently observed in isolated sporadic cases. ETIOLOGY-Diplococcus Loyalitis. A double cocci forming good cultures on average student media, but having sparse growth on culture of medical students. Conditions favoring development of germ-Hot air, champion athletic teams, class scraps, high opsonic index. Conditions inhibiting growth of germ-Married life, overstudy, tight pocketbook. SYMPTOMS-fab The typical ca-se commences on the opening day of school with high fever, glad hand, push and support for every student activity. This activity in most cases reaches its zenith usually about Thanksgiving and ends gradually by lysis on last day of school, although even during decline frequent exacerbations of increased infection may arise. fbj All typical cases are common. They are usual- ly manifested by tendency to rah! rah! trousers, yellow shoes, loud socks, dinky cap, padded shoulders, long hair and chrysanthemums. The vocal power may be so accentuated as to resemble the sound made by setting the brakes on a freight train, or mistaken for nine o'clock curfew. In these cases the mouth usually ob- scures the face leaving scant room on the rim of head for eyes, nose and ears. Often times absolute loss of control is experienced by the patient and he is re- strained with difficulty from smashing his neighbor's derby, dancing like a jump- ing jack, or following up acute attacks with worship at the shrine of Bacchus. PROGNOSIS-Very favorable. Tends toward enjoyment and peace of mind in future. TREATMENT-Stimulants most frequently used: Liberal increasing doses of crimson and gold. FRED B. KYGER, '08. l in l ! i 1 1 11 1 it 't if 1 1! f li ix 1I1f 31 I 1 H19 9 ll! ll f L' lf 1, 1 111 4... 5 fl, Sf swf l 'git 1 -5,3 1 3v,il i,l!1

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Dr. Henderson: 'fWhere is the external abdominal ring? Riddler: In Scarpas triangle. Mrs. Adams: f'Do you believe that cures can be effected by the laying on of hands?', Mrs. Bates: Most certainly. I cured my son Carl of the cigarette habit by that method. Dr. Milton left the usual sign on his door, Will be back at four o'clock. He was chagrined, on returning to find that some wag had added, What for? Dr. Miller: What preparation of digitalis would you use for hypodermic medi cation?,' Porter: The infusion. Dr. M.: Why? P.: Because it is an aqueous -solution. Dr. Cordier: What size cat-gut would you use for the peritoneum? Mudd: 'iChromicized. l- Dr. Jackson: What are some -of the physical signs of aneuri-sm? S. D. Anderson: Well, on auscultation you hear a brewery? Dr. Zwart: When is the alcoholic headache the worst? McKay: In the morning. Dr. James: Give the symptoms of diphtheria. Swann: Anorexia and rigor mortisf' n-4 Dr. Conover: Why is it that chronic pleurisy occurs in old people?,' R. A. Stewart Cafter deep meditationlz Because it takes a long time for it to develop. Dr. Wheeler: Who was the founder of medicine? Beebe tex-homeopathistb: Catherine de Medici. Dr. Frankenburger fin the nurses' lecturel: Give me -an example of incompati- bility. Miss Bray: 'fDr. Pond and Miss Forrester. King Cas the class was discussing a wet or dry banquetbz f'Well, now you fellows can do just as you please, but I don't want to be around where that goldurn -stuff is. Gilliland says he is going to try a hair restorer on his face, as the beard only comes in patches. Kidd fwriting homey: Tell the folks not to send me a bath robe for Christmas. Kilpatrick took ia bath in one last night and says it was not at all comfortable. Dr. Jeff Hayward of Kansas City, West Side, was found in an unconscious con- tion on the streets of Independence, Mo., late Saturday night. Dr. James Brown, who resuscitated him, states that Dr. Hayward had taken a half ounce of hydrogen monoxide