University Medical College - Scalpel Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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Zlirrahmrn Ilinllira R. PITTAM: UI-s the pharmacopoeia a plant or an animal? l Schaefer : I believe that it is animal doctor. Hutchinson Cthe second day after school startedl: Well, Dr. Aiken, where do you expect to locate after you graduate? Some men achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them. To thi-s class belongs Lewis, the president of 1911. Everisince he had greatness thr-ust upon him by making his hit with the freshman class. He is the 'Candy Kid even if he has a tobacco heart that goes flippity-flop. Well, of all the notables of the University Medical College, Farr, 'iThe Whistling VVonder, with hi-s young Gray stuffed in his hip pocket, has got 'em all skinned. What a satisfaction it will be to future medical students to look at Dawson's new edition of Gray's Anatomy. And yes, by the way, why don't they run the school to suit his convenience anyhow, he never gets through telling the Profs how to do it. Woods fcoming into class one Monday morninglz My how fine I feel this morn- ing. I only had three toddies and two beers before coming to class. Now anybody could tell that that juvenile faced kid from Independence couldn't look an empty beer bottle in the face without blushing. He also smokes cigarettes. He is getting tough, I tell you. Talk about your lady's man, Harrison has an idea that he is just about the neatest fuser in town. Widows, grass widows, are his specialty. McElvain says he is the busiest man in school. When the wind blows off his hat, he i-s in too big a hurry to stop and pick it up, he waits till he comes by that way the next day. That man Uhlery certainly puts on the knowesting look of any fellow you ever met, but when you tap his head, why it l-ike Bryan's idea of free silver, that the Dawson and Egbert pair keep talking, there is nothing in it. But say, how all the freshmen like Ewing. When a test comes around there is a fight as to who will sit next to him. It has even been reported that Scott said he would rather copy off him than Harrison. There is only one trouble with Miller, and that is he is so bald-headed that you can't tell where his face leaves off and his head begins. Aiken says that he will quit asking Dr. Lowe questions if Dr. Lowe would only leave him alone.

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, 1 71.1 1 H411-1' 14,1 1 1111 .ix '51 Il 1 , I 1, 1 1, . I i 1 E111 111- iii' 1? 1 1 1 I 11 Vil- ll. ,1 1 L'! l11! 1li1 9. 11,1 111. 5,1 111, H1 1,1 I I 1 1 1 11 1l fls' l 1 1 1111 ,IM 11 V i 1 ll F 1 , , 1 Haigler has been sporting new clothes and plenty of money evervsince the foot- ball season closed. His father's lumber business is said to be picking up. Spray Cin histologyJ: Well, doctor, I can't see anything in this specimen today. He takes off the eye piece of his microscope and finds that the Sophomores have stuffed a wad of paper down it. Farr's daily song: Of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest is I've flunked again. Dr. Lowe fin phys-iologyjz The Germans like to make' blood pudding from coagu- lated blood. Bundgart fthe bloominest Dutchman that ever come down Fifth st.J: Well, don't the Irish like it, to-o, doctor? -m-, Glnllvgv Svpiritia SYNONYMS-Jackson's Metastatic Rooteritis, Frankenburger's Disease. DEFINITION-A highly contagious inflammatory mental condition of students, charac- terized by an exhilarative mania for supporting all college activities. LOCATION-As fo-und, usually occurs in epidemics. At U. M. C. it has been very fre- quently observed in isolated sporadic cases. ETIOLOGY-Diplococcus Loyalitis. A double cocci forming good cultures on average student media, but having sparse growth on culture of medical students. Conditions favoring development of germ-Hot air, champion athletic teams, class scraps, high opsonic index. Conditions inhibiting growth of germ-Married life, overstudy, tight pocketbook. SYMPTOMS-fab The typical ca-se commences on the opening day of school with high fever, glad hand, push and support for every student activity. This activity in most cases reaches its zenith usually about Thanksgiving and ends gradually by lysis on last day of school, although even during decline frequent exacerbations of increased infection may arise. fbj All typical cases are common. They are usual- ly manifested by tendency to rah! rah! trousers, yellow shoes, loud socks, dinky cap, padded shoulders, long hair and chrysanthemums. The vocal power may be so accentuated as to resemble the sound made by setting the brakes on a freight train, or mistaken for nine o'clock curfew. In these cases the mouth usually ob- scures the face leaving scant room on the rim of head for eyes, nose and ears. Often times absolute loss of control is experienced by the patient and he is re- strained with difficulty from smashing his neighbor's derby, dancing like a jump- ing jack, or following up acute attacks with worship at the shrine of Bacchus. PROGNOSIS-Very favorable. Tends toward enjoyment and peace of mind in future. TREATMENT-Stimulants most frequently used: Liberal increasing doses of crimson and gold. FRED B. KYGER, '08. l in l ! i 1 1 11 1 it 't if 1 1! f li ix 1I1f 31 I 1 H19 9 ll! ll f L' lf 1, 1 111 4... 5 fl, Sf swf l 'git 1 -5,3 1 3v,il i,l!1