University Medical College - Scalpel Yearbook (Kansas City, MO)

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611255 mlm Saga 'Em Bailg Iridectomy? VVhat do you think about it, Mr. Andrews? T-f-y. Brethren, twenty-five years ago I s-at on the benches 'with Horatio C. Wood and listened to the brilliant Da Costa. I knew Potter, too-he didn't know muchli' Wh-r. I am going to talk to you today about heart sounds. You don't know a darn thing about them and neither do If' McK-l-p. 'fNow, gentlemen, speaking of strictures, in all of these cases remember this one point-and so on and so forthf' R-b-ts. My deah young gentlemen, there is not one of you but what I love as much as if you were my own flaxen haired boy. J-m-s. Put on a Buckis extension! How much weight? Enough! M-r-w. When I was down in Mexico practicing among the greasersf' F-n-b-g-r. I am talking to you modern doctors-you of the Twentieth Century. P-n-t-n. Positively the last notice: Call at the office before entering the examination rooms! L-g-n. You can distinguish it, Mr. Andrews, by the odor, color and taste. Now do you understand, sir?,' C-n-V-r. Know your own limitations! ilmagine the gesturesj. P-n-t-n. Now, gentlemen, when I call this roll, kind-ly remember your own name. ' K-n-k-y. Being ambidexterous, I sit at the head of the patient and operate on the left eye with the left hand and the right eye with the right hand. T-f-y. 51.1. Patient died promptly. Present ad-dress not known. H-r-z-r. Mr. Beebe: In case we were called out on a staff call and encountered a p. p. hemorrhage, what should We do? Dr. Burkhart: UGrab the U- with both hands and run for the telephone. ,...14 Dr. Hill: t'Wh1at structures pass through the external abdominal ring? Hynds: Poupart's ligament.

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QP igah 'lim Well, what ails her, Doc? Can't say as yet. Patient is of such an extremely nervous temperament that an exact diagnosis is a matter of unusual difficulty. She seems to have a high temperature and a rapid bounding pulse. Inspection reveals a gasping panting respiration and a large amount of expectorated material of a granular sooty consistency. Vocal fremitus is simply immense while the rales are a sort of cross between the snorting of a wind- broken horse and the moaning of a Kansas cyclone. A couple of you fellows bring a hammer and we will see if percussion reveals any new discord among this patient's vitalsf' f'Took the patient's history yet, Doc?l' asked a bystander. Yes, says, her family name is Baldwin and came origin-ally from Philadelphia. Pa. All her family were hearty eaters and she seems to have inherited the tendency, since it requires constant efforts on the part of one attend-ant to feed her while another is kept busy by her nervous manifestations due, no doubt, to an overloaded stomach. She is quite a fpig! With this final remark the speaker passed on followed by a few low chuckles and a cough or two. Say, Bill, ain't it tool bad? asked he who had made the first inquiries of the per- son designated as Do-c. Ain't what too bad, Bill rejoined. About Doc. He used to be a sober, sensible young man, what we fellows call a 'good Indianf Was till he be- gan to associate with those doctors over at the University. Now he rambles about in an aimless -sort of way and his mind seems to wander at times. When he is having one of his worst spells he lets go of a lot of such stuff as you heard him get off about that engine. A high temperature and a rapid pulse, bosh! and the spe-aker turned away in disgust. Don't he attend school at the University?', asked a companion, he say-s he does. Him, na-a-w, he has a friend over there that he calls on now and then. Can't say whether it is the office girl, a student or one of the nurses in the hospital, but he generally goes over on Tuesday and Thursday. Picks up a few medical terms with which to stun us poor working fellows when he gets backf' The writer was an unobserved listener to the above conversation which took place on the platform of the Union Depot, Kansas City, Mo. The last two speakers were employes of the Union Depot Company, while the subject of their criticism was a tall handsome lad of some thirty-five -summers who I recognized at once. He turne-d quickly as I accosted him with, Hello, Harry, what are you doing here? and came toward me with, f'Ah, old man, delighted! Y-ou see I am permanently employed here except for a few spare mome-nts which I put in at the U. M. C. I work for Uncle Sam in the mail service and it give-sl me abundant opportunity for practical work among the invalids. Ah, ha, what's up? Not working? Sick? Let me see you tongue? Ahem, require a plastic oper-ati-on and la liberal application of Oleum No. 399. These last remarks aside to an idle baggage truck apparently having a broken axle., There is no end of this- sort of thingj' said Harry, excellent qualification for the practice of medicine. Now here is an interesting case, pointing to a big mail sack ,l