University of Massachusetts Lowell - Sojourn / Knoll Yearbook (Lowell, MA)

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space and finding none, students are allowed to park their cars in any available space in the immediate area. The object of the game is to avoid the evil parking monsters. The less dangerous of the monsters is ugly Rita-meter maid. Rita dispenses little orange tickets which charge students 510.00 for parking where they shouldn't have. Students usually ignore the little orange tickets, or they use them bookmarks. The real terror of commuters is the dreaded Hliamikazee towing monsters. The Kamikazees sneak up on unsuspecting cars, take them hostage, and hold them for ransom. Students are forced to pay the evil Chief Kamikazee if they want their cars in one piece. Unfor- tunately sometimes even if they pay the ransom their cars are never quite the same again. Some say the highlight ofa student's college experience is the social life. The college social life can be divided into two categories-on-campus partying and off-campus partyting. On-campus partying is usually censored in some way but is still quite popular-especially with under-age drinkers. Off-campus partying is more expensive and re- quires an l.D. of some sort, yet it too remains popular- especially with underage dnnkers. The majority of on-campus partying is organized by peo- ple students refer to as Greeks. Greeks are not necessarily descendents of the Hellenic race, rather they are a breed unto themselves. By day the Greeks are like most stu- dents-they go class, they skip class, they study, but un- like other students they are required to do many good deeds, to make up for all the partying they do by night. ln spite ofall the other activities they do, Greeks are still land with pridel regarded as the party experts. The remainder of on-campus parties are held in the residence halls, and are forbidden by the administration, which is why Greek parties and off-campus parties are better attended. Some off-campus partying occurs in apartments. The idea here is to cram as many students as possible into the apartment so they all can worship the silver-god called THE KEG. Students spend their time qualiing dovm as many beers as possible before the keg is empty. Once the keg is empty they seek out a new party or they go to a club. Clubs are popular because of the live entertainment, dancing, but mostly because of the cheap beer?l. Due to the stricter laws pertaining to alcohol, many students avoid clubs because they are either underage or they don't want to have to dnve home. ln any case, if a student has thoroughly leamed How to Talk Your Way Out of Anything, club paryting is ideal. The college experience culminates in GRADUATION. Many college students never get to experience graduation, but for those that do it, it must be a memorable moment. After all, what could top off hours of languishing away in the sun, wearing a black tent on your body and a black bookend on your head, while listening to someone too far away to see, say how proud he is of each and every one of you. Stephanie Marie Rose Burke 8 1 i 'Y 1 - 'C 'Sl

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