University of Maryland School of Medicine - Terrae Mariae Medicus (Baltimore, MD)

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ANATOMY Frank H. J. Figge, a.b., ph.d. Professor of Anatomy and Head of the Department (nmfiletely cifitippal with technicolor, Todd AO. cind lc ' rcoplM))iic miiduI. Two hundred fifty-six hours of gross anat- omy is simply not enough time. No, you ' re wrong! That is not a freshman student talk- ing; those are the words of Dr. Frank Figge. Nevertheless, all students will agree that this is either about five hundred hours to little or else two hundred fifty-six hours too much. But no matter the time, we still managed to cram into our craniums (cranii) tiic seemingly infinite details of human hones, muscles, nerves, vessels, organs, and fascia. With the aid of Drs. Uhlcnhuth, Krahl, Mech, McCafTerty, and the rest of the staff, we maneuvered our way past the informal table quizzes ami the majt)r exams, which we imagined to be as awesome and frightening as any human ordeal possibly could be. Strange as it may seem, the department also finds rime to tlelve into and dissect other problems: — the dynamics of amniotic lluid; the development of the mammalian lung; tiic influence of obesity on the liver; porphyrin y

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iA ' W.--.li««!l First row: Goodman, Kronthal, Bing, Mciimu, H. iim, llntkiu. Busclmi.ui, Xiiuk. (il.is , MlCicov. liKiwcll .Sim. ,, row: Fink, Lankford, Shillaci, Brouillette, Gutherlet, Berkow, Appleton, Fleming, Hutzler, Light, Cain, Young. Third row: Sonn, Law, Holz, Morreels, Farrish, Headings, Forbes, Fuchs, Presser, Diacoyanis, Ensor. Inability to distinguish artery from vein or to find thoracic duct. Compulsive desire to learn only one half the human body. PAST history: Spoon-fed since birth with inability to retain feedings. Occasional injections of Vitamin F per rec- tum. Operations: Cortical stenostomy with no improvement. Dilation of rectal stricture. Illnesses: Paroxysmal epidemic spasticity spreading like wild-fire before mid-terms and finals and sensitized by sophomores. Depres- sive episodes relieved by weekends. Immu- nized against sleep, recreation, fresh air, sport clothes. Development: Talked at 2 mos., talked with sense at 4 mos. Stopped staring at 5 mos. Learned to use hands with dexter- ity at 6 mos. Walked without instructor at 7 mos. Smiled at 8 mos. Saw sunlight at 9 mos. Began to enjoy life at 10 mos. Said at last I am a sophomore at 1 yr. Habits: Likes to wear extremely dirty, smelly long white coat, plays with bones, breaks histology slides, gets along well with others in same boat, sleeps sitting up. Obsession to buy books and instruments. Environment: Lives with 100 similar animals, usually in same room. DIAGNOSIS: 1. Nervous reaction, manifested by extreme bewilderment and confusion. 2. Chronic passive congestion of cerebral cortex. 3. Atrophy of disuse of the muscles of self- expression. TREATMENT: 1. Burn smelly white coats. 2. Summer of pleasure. 3. Eye exercises — focusing on opposite sex. prognosis: Graduation — at best. referral: To Sophomore Class. 15

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7 This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home ... This, gentlemen, is malnutrition . metabolism; constitional diseases of mice; and other equally varied and unanswered questions. What can the student of tomorrow expect — more anatomy or less anatomy? Well, chances are he will get more, for the future of medicine lies in bringing the basic sci- ences and clinical medicine closer together. And a biopsy was taken.