University of Maine at Portland - Reflection / Umpire Yearbook (Portland, ME)

Page 24 text:

22 THE PLTYIAN We :mlice that Elmer Small. '24. is living up 1:0 the reputation acquired in 1132,11 schonl-Jthat is. wearing fancy hose. W'ouldxft it be a good idea to ask 'Cutie Dorschuck the telly of his light hair in front. and the rest of his head dark? Teacher in Salesmanship Class: Lincoln said, All men are created equal'. Sharpe Hrom back of romm : they don't stay that way. .1111; J- 3Dyibus kissibus sweet girlorum, Girlibus likibus wanti sumorum, Kissibus ioudibus. wake up poporum. Kickibus hoylhus nut the front doorum, Darkibus nightibus, no lightorum, Climbibus picket fence, breechibns torum. Wieccit is usually a lie-ability. You can always tell a F reshitf' by his green looks and such. You can always tell a. Junior. but you can't tell him much. Politician: 'What makes Congress- men and Senamrs famous ? ' Soldier: Death. ' 'Did you ever hear Colonel Simrpe' sing ?m Yes, he should be with Wagner. WNhy, he's dead 3 q know it. Student: 29in I want permission to be away from school three days after the end of vacaticm Dean; HAh, three more days of grace ! Student: No, sir. three more days of Gertrude. Professor: H'hy. you are so dumb, lazy and thick. that very few girls would ever marry you. Student: Thafs all right: very few would be enough. Ile: We are coming to a tunnel, are ynu afraid? She: No, not if you take tha: pipe out of your mouth. Sweet Young Thing: 51 think the way college men discuss kissing is ter- rible. Snph. hvishing to pleaseE : So do 1... S Y. T.: lfs unhygienic. Soph: qt certainly is. S. Y. T.: And vulgar. Staph: 'Abs0luteiy. 5. Y. T. Miter gazing at him exp pectantly for a few momentsjp : Well, we might as well go in and dance. GExI-zkous WF. Too. Cupper: A policeman died and I am taking up a collection to bury him. Will you give a doilar? Victim: A Dollar to bury a police- man 3 Copper: Yes. Victim: Herefs ten dollars. Bury ten. Irate Mother: 111 teach you to kiss my daughter! inwlent junior: You're. too late. I've learned already. I When l'iellis. was appointed manager of the lunch counter he voiuntcered this information: h01w.- pound of cof- fee will make 175 cups of tea? M r. Shesnng i n Economicsi : hWhen the rent comes due, we nmve. apt h:

Page 23 text:

THE PUVIAN 2!. lt'i-z anmzk l-VllAT BRADSTREETR RATING WOULD GIVE HIM ON THIS. A young negro came to our ofhee a few days since to open a charge ac count. He answered the usual questions necessary to establish his credit. On lteing asked if he could furnish a good business reference, he nervously replied that he never did anything like that before. Putting his hand in his peeket. he drew out 1111 envelope and said. WW1! that do .w Lipnn examination. it was found to contain a marriage license which he had just procured from the city clerk. -Thp Frrmih- Circle Rimes Brothers Company. A pretty young woman stepped into :1 music shop in the city the other clay. She tripped up to the counter where a 116w clerk was assorting music, and in her sweetest tones asked, Have you 'KiSSed Me in the Moonlight'?,l The clerk turned, looked, and said, tllt must have been the man at the other counter. I have only been here a week. At the junior class meeting the ela'se was discussing the matter of obtaining an orchestra for a dance. Wilson : ll can get a good orchestra for $8.00. Sharpe: llW'hat do you want to :10, hire a vietrola ? At the same meeting, Wilson: t'W'hat is the matter with going out to 31' Dunscmft. Durant: ' I don't want to go out in those jungles. A woman entered a department store recentl-xr and asked 'W'Vhere is the lingerie P DO you mean the rest reimh:w quev tied the salesgirl. In French CEass-Mr. Smith. ex; plaining the translation of the neuter gender: 1 have a grammar, She is tliihcult. Don't get that idea. IT is difficult. It is runmred that Basil Hunt de veloped the Hunt System Of type- writing. lt is not known whether 61' not he discovered llhunting. Deacon Robbins spilled a. story the other day about his inexperience. He said. liOh. we won't upset it. eGir15, ask him yourselves ! ll Asnault was trying to argufy with his auto some time ago. It got very hot, and a committee was appointed to set- tle the argument. After a heated ar- gument with a barrel of mud, the com- mittee won the point. Want AdSr-FOI' Exchange: $85.00 diamond ring for a double-barrel shot gun. . i For Sale: High grade cornetealso shot gun, both for $50.00. In Salesmanship ClasseTeaeher calling toll: Boyle. Two people answered: Here. Teacher; Have we two boils u! here 3 TN ACCOUNTANCY. Hinkley says: All the debits are credit accounts and all Credit Accounts are Dehitsfl It all rlenenrls Hinklev. rm which side at the Dehit the Credit side is mi. Cavmtettef Anvthing that cannot be mnved is a h'lFixed Asset.

Page 25 text:

T H 1C A LIPSTICK WHOSE Fm'ma Is Goon. I've never kicked at the 'gowns you wear, Your hats 1 most always enjoy. You would look nice in almost anything With the charms and grace you employ. There's only one favor I ask of you I'll state ll 50 I'm understood, Do as you p'eaae with anything-mut- Pat 3 lipstick whose flavor is good. I751; The powder you use makes no difference to me. Violet or some other name. 1 law: nu pnrlieular choice of perlumti. They seem to be nearly the same. But there's one thing I insist on, You'll do it?-l knew you would. It surely will please me-I' don't ask for much- Use a lipstick whose flavor is good. PENN. STATE. anrn. Rastus: tlWThat fo' you-all got yo' pants on wrong side out fo'. nigger ? Samba: ll 'Cause Ah's goin' to due hall m-night and ah wants to git de bag outer de knees. lVilson: I used to work for Jones 81 Morgan. Robbins: Why did you leave ? Wilson: I couldn't stand them: they were always lighting. Robbins : Why, I thought that those partners were the best of friends! I dFd not know that they ever fought? Wilson: Well. they do. They fought all the time. First it was me and jones and then me and Morgan. So I quit. She: Don't you think that talkav live women are the most interesting ? He: tWhat other kinds are there? PUVTAN 2:! 'We suggest that Miss Nielsen stop holding hands in class with W ................ Mrs. Goodridge tin Salesmanshipfl: When you want a piece of pie and your mother leaves the room, what do you do ? Finley: Snatch it. Tm: Comma. Sms': A man who will carry a big hunting dog on his back over a mile'in hard going in the winter over breaking crust, because of the dog's bleeding feet is my idea at a regular He-Man. D0111 worry about what men say of you; think what might happen if they were mind readers. When you reach the mountain top, wig-wag courage to the fellow in the foothills. All of us can help the business by helping to cut-down wasteful expenses. A winning team-purpose and perspiration. A bore is a chap who talks about himself when you want to talk about yourself. Winning teams are not captained by pessimism. Don't expect applause-deserve it. Turn out the lights, it will help save eoaL Hitching your wagon to a star doesn't mean a movie star. Lots of people Crack jokes, but did you ever hear of anyone breaking them? Dad says that he is tired working his son's way through college.