University of Maine at Portland - Reflection / Umpire Yearbook (Portland, ME)

Text from Pages 1 - 32 of the 1922 volume:

Clothing and Furnishings STYLED FOR YOUNG MEN SDUVENIIEIS TELEPHONE 2406 BEFORE PURCHASING YOUR JEWELRY VISIT Eafagettr 31911112111; 01111111111111; .1 E W E LE RS W aid: and Jewelry Repairing a Specialty 636A Congress Street Opp. Public Library PORTLAND. MAINE The American Vuse-Smith company Cleaning Co. FLORISTS 646 Congress Street Portiand. Maine Under Lafayette Hotel One Day Service on Naplha Telephone 294 Rea. Telephone 4627 Cleaning 648 Congress Street Plants and F lower: for all ocanionl 0' hni s'adi Artistic Design: a Specialty The Sporting Goods Store Backer Balk, Sweatert, Valley Balls, Sweat$hirts , Boxing Gloves, Jerseys, Striking Baal, Bicycles WE EQUIPT PORTLAND UNIVERSITY THE JAMES BAILEY COMPANY 264 Middle Street, Portland EARLE H. CUNNINGHAM, C. P. A., DEAN OF PORTLAND UNIVERSITY This issue is dedicated to our Dean, Mr Earle Henry Cunningham. We: consider it a privilege to be able to ochr him this small tribute In all our troubles he is right with us he is always ready to oficr advice.a11d is generous with both his Congratulations and hi 5 sympathy. He is a personal friend of each and every member of the student body Mr.Cum1i11gham's experience leading 11p 10 the organizing of P0111 land University 111113.r I11: 51111111113111 up as follows: In 11112 Mr. Cunningham was eiected Principal of the Commercial Department of Shaw's Business College in Bangor. He taught there with a marked degree of success until 1916. During this time Mr. Cunningham taught private classes in Ac- counting, and also practiced public accounting in and around Bangor. In June, 1916. Mr. Cunningham accepted a position as Head of the Educational Department in mm of the local accounting schoolsi He acted as Dean of this School until January, 1921. During this time he studied and in March, 1911'. received the degree oi Certified Public Accountant. In connection with his duties as Dean of the Actounling School. Mr. Cunningham carried on very successfully. classes in Account- ing and Business Law in rooms which he opened up in the Benoit Btiiidiing, 270 Middle Street. The demand for this sort of school increased. and gradually Mr. Cunningham's classes increased As time went on Mr. Cunningham and his business associates took an additional space in the Benoit Buiiding and rarried an evening ciasscs in Account- ing and Business Law and later on taught.1. I1 subjects as Business English and Correspondence. Business Mathemaiirs. Economics. etc. Realizing the need for such a school in Maine. Mr. Cunningham decided to start day classes in these subjectsi In August. 1921. Portland University was organized. and in that month Mr. Cunningham secured the right from the state to issue academic dullness to students satiaiactoriw cmnpleting courses prescribed by the University M12 Cunningham. i1iTIISCli. wa-i appointed D1311 and President of the University. In September. 1921. Portland University began its hrst year as a regular Uni- versity. oFfering courses of a college grade. and started Off with a Freshman ciasa of about thirty students. The evening school this Foar was also greatly increased over that of previous years. Courses were Offered 111 First Year Accounti11g.Second Year Accounting. Business. Law Business English and Correspondence. Economics. Business Mathematics. Commerce. Spanish, French. Shorthand. Typewriting, and Business Spelling. Mr. Cunningham is also Pres1den1 of a Iota! firm of Public Accountants and Auditors and carries this practice along on a small scale as wail as attending to his duties at Portland University Members of the Editorial Board Back row. Uef! to rightJ. Phiiip H. Sharpe, '24, Editor-in-Chief. Ralph C. Robbins, jr.. Q4, mlulmic Editor, Arthur C. Spraguc. ,24, Business Manager. Frederick P. Wilson, 24, Exchange Editor. Front row Heft to right, Miss Lauretta M, Nielsen. '24, Activities Editor, DeaneEarle H. Cun- . ningham. Faculty Adviser, Miss Lanna A Thibodeau. R25. Assistant Bditor-in-Chief. at! Ehitntiala gal ARMISTICE DAY. On Saturday. November 11th, we will celebrate Armistice Day. Does this mean anything to you? 'To the writer it means the Close of a terrible war-a war which we did not win. With the armistice began another war -21 commercial war in which Germany and :1 few other European nations have entered themselves as against the .-Xmerican market. XVe may be doubted in this by some, hut the majority will consider us cor- rect when we say that the American markets are swamped with foreign l'junk eand that word is not used slnngily, but literally. The writer has had occasion to look into this matter at foreign imitations of American products: and can liken them only to imitatlons-theap imitations of good jewelry. The unsuspecting public get lmclly stungf CO-OPERATION. Co-operationewhat does it mean? To us it means that we must work toe gethe r. Teamwork is the name offered by other people, and it means consider; able. Every athletic team insists on it. The editors are asking you for your assistance. This is not our per- sonal propositioneit belongs to the en- tire student body. We must have tiiaterial for our papelxathere is where co-uperation comes in. That we have a great deal of it is proved by the many activities which are get- ting under way in the school. It might he called school spirit. hut school spirit is useless without eo-oper- atimi. XVe shall have something to say that no one else can offer, we believe, and that is that we are going to have one hundred percent of the student body subscribe to our paper, which will he a record to be proud of. Now it is up to us to keep the ball rolling. The hardest part, the energy necessary to start it, 15 now over. There will be Five more issues and each one must be better than its preceding number. It is all up to you. Submit your material and show us that you believe that Portland University is as important as any other school in the country. The matter is now in your hands, and you must uphold it. Let us see if yet: have the true spirit of eo-operation in you. - We offer you the immortal slogan of the A. E F.J7 Let,s Go 1 BACK THE ADVERTISERS. It was htought to my attention the other day that it does not mean a. great deal to the advertisers in any medium to advertise unless results are obtained by the advertiSing. In Order to help Our business manager some, the writer dropped in to see a friend who is in- terestecl in Portland University. When the subject of the visit wasihmught up! the prospective advertiser said, 'lNow look here, Phil, I will give you the ad you want. but I do not expect to get great results from it-iu fact, I do not expect to obtain a. single return. I have advertised in a great many pa- pers. and l know from experience that many of them. especiallj.r school pa- pers. bring absolutely no returns. I am giving you this tip: try to inter- est your subscrihers in supporting your advertisers. 4 T ll E I have thought a great deal about this statement. and I am Firmly oi the opinion that he was absolutely correct We du not support our advertisers as much as we should. They advertise to help us. perhaps. but the chief rea- son is. because they want our business Every advertiser in our paper is with usewhy shouldnit we be with them? 'l'lay square. The editors will do their part. but the student hotly must co- npernte with us. .Nnd when you lmy anything from these advertisers, he sure to mention that you saw their ad in the Portland University PUVLiN; otherwise they will not know that their advertising in this medium is bringing results. We do not think that we are asking anything unreasonable when we make this requestedo you? Pump B. Stumps. The Erlitots wish to express their sincere gratitude to Elise; Doris Covey, Miss Katherine Kearneyr and Miss Annie jutlkins for their assistance in bringing out this issue of THE PUVIX? The Staff at the PUVIAN wish to ex- tend their thanks to the Portland- Etimn'ng Express for their kindness in loaning us the cut of the Editorial Hoard which appears in another part of this issue. Miss Muriel V. Kezar. who attended Portland University last year, claims the distinction of being the first sub- scriber to the PIEVMN. She asked to become a subscriber when the paper was in its imaginary stages. and the editors feel that the first copy of our paper to come from the press should he sent to her. Hence the very first copy is being reserved. PUVTAN ' After you read this issue. do not be afraid to give friendly criticisms. Of course 0111' faults do not look as large to us as they do to you. so if you will kindly help us out the Editorial Board will appreciate it. The follmring news item was taken from a southern newspaper: Yesterday the Courier was the hrst p-ar-er to report that Colonel john l'lamilton was dead. Today we are the first to deny this report. The Courier always leatlsf' That we haw artistic talent in Port- land i'oiversity is shown by the fact that our Exchange Editor, Frederick ll. Wilson. is again playing as an actor with the stock company at the Jeffer- son Theatre. Did our Editor take his position with our paper to heart? It would look that way. as he has recently see cured his old position as a cub reporter for the Express and Taiegram. Let us hope that he will at least learn something about the paper game. HELPFUL THOUGHTS FROM MANY SOURCES. I. The chains of habit are too small to be felt until they are too strong to he easily broken.-A-non. 2. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the best of men. 3. There is no man but knows more evil of himself than he does of other people. Anon. THE PUYIAN e ! $tnriw es! A CUBlS NEW ADVENTURE- AND AN OLD REWARD. By PHILIP IL SHARPE, l2-l. Morgan was new at the gameithere was no doubt about iLehe was new at the game. He had been with the Daily Timer for two weeks. and all he had done was handle a few notes that were alnmst routine. Then it would he, n.X- lorgam. go down to the Police Sta- tion and get the newsflelCive the so- ciety editor a lift, and such things as that. Harold Morgan was attending col- lege and had secured the position of cuh'l reporter for the Titties during his summer vacation. And he was be- ginning to think that newspaper work was dead stuH. He was ambitious and was a lover of adventure. He was of the take-awehance type of young man, and good luck usually favored him. Just now he was beginning to think it had deserted him. While he was considering the situa- tion. the gong rang for Number 13. As that was his number, he went to the in-phmie. l'The Editor-in-Chief wants you;I was what he was told. Visions of a callwduwn for something or other surged through his mind. Perhaps he was even hredl T he chief was a man of few Words, kind, yet guilt, and, to be truthful, l'lotgart was afraid of him. He en- tered the office with confidence in his face. even though he did not have it. in his heart. iiSit clown? said the chief. and without further preliminary he began: Morgan, you have been with us for two weeks. I have been watching you and believe that there is good ma- terial in you. I am going to find uut. You have heard of the Haunted House at liVinChester? N0? Well, a very valuable estate there is owned by a rich Xew Yorker. His father had it built for him about 233 years ago and had all modern improvements installed in 1.019. In 1990 he died of heart failurbno. a natural deatheand the property passed to his son by his will. Hstbout six months after the death of the old man, queer things began to happen On that estate, and it worked up quite a. flowery reputation. None of the villagers will go near the place after dark. and the pmperty, although valuable, cannot be sold at any price. Now, I donlt believe in spooks, do you? I thought not. Well, I am sure that there is :1 good reason for them and I think it will be a good story. You are going up there, your expenses will he paid, and you have ten days to clear it up. If you donit make it, donlt come back. White in for your cheek. You leave on the 9.12 train tomorrow mom- ing. Thatis all, Morgan did not know what to say, so he made a hasty exit after mumbling his thanks He went back to his typev writer with his head in the clouds. Next morning he was fifteen minutes early tor the 9.12. Just before noon he stepped off the train into the little station of VVin- Chester. He looked up a hotel, made arrangements for his room, and then decided to take a stroll before l: Tll l'C lunch. He was wandering tlowu Weston Street when whom should he 5133: but f'lianrtl llargraves. a elassv mate at cnllege. Their greetings were nmist and good natured. H'hat brings then to our thriving metmpnlis ? l'Well. Cliff. was the reply, hthe Thurs sent me up to cover the 'H auntetl l-Iouse' proposition. Tell me what you can about it. W'ell. .I don't see as there is much to tell. Chick. batesay. you're coming you're coming over to the house for ltlnehino. it's all settledeand we'll talk it ever afterwards. On the way over Hargraves told his story. Noises had been heard and a lot taf regulation spook demonstrations were to be had. But although many people had tried to solve the mystenr no one had met with success, moreover. although they had heard noises. no one had ever been seen there. . At lunch, Morgan met CliEls mother and .his sister. june. He became so interested in the latter that he almost fnrgot his misasion. He was dragged away by Hargraves with the promise that he could come over every evening. Letls go over to the house. said Cliff. They gave the house and groands a hasty examinatien before entering. Apparently all things within were in fme condition. The two chums seated themselves on a sofa and talked the matter over for almost two hours. All right. we sleep here tonight, they said as they went out. lIt will be fun even though we dotft come any nearer to the end of the mystery than hetere.'I At aan they were settled for a night of peace CU. At any rate. they were prepared for anything. Each young questioned Hargraves.' PUYlAX man had a small but effective black- jack and a powerful flashlight. Be- sides. theyr had one small lantern and two blankets each. At last they were ready. let come what may. The lantern had been placed on a table in the living room and with its dim light things began to take on a weird, though nut unpleasant look. They chatted about spooks, but soon their conver- sation wandered to various subjects. 'Itme. school, and coming football. At a point where Breton was win- ning a hard-fought game with Cossnl, the band began to play. hV'Ve win! we win! shouted Cliff, but was inter- rupted by Morgan. 'Come down to earth! music? The two were silent. Upstairs at band was faintly playing. Net a word passed between the two. Hargraves picked up his flashlight in his left hand and took the blackjack in his right. Morgan did likewise. Slowly they tiptoed up the steps. Morgan led and noticed that the seventh stair step was quite soft. He stopped and marked it and then went on. They had reached the top of the stairs when the music stopped in the middle of a bar. A thorough search disclosed nothing, so they returned. On the way down Harold stopped on the seventh stair and pulled off the carpet. Underneath was a thin flat board which was held up by springs. When it was stepped 0:1. it closed a switch. ttLook here! he whispered. point- ing to a pair of wires leading through the main step. They cut both wires and went on down. In the living mom again they talked the matter over. Somethings tells me that there is a radio set here, Cliff. was Morgan's Do you hear THE PUTIAN 7 comment I think that the switch I stepped on told them that we were coming. If we do a little investigat- ing we shall have a real surprise? So the two young men again went up- stairs. I am sure I have at last got the dope. Morgan remarked. tlDo as I tell you and you will see. The two went into :1 bedroom and crouched in the comer. At Morgatfs sugges- tion not even a whisper passed between them. They had been there Fifty min- utes when the buzz of a radio set he- gan. Clitic felt Morgan's hand tighten over his wrist and they both waited, nerves tense. They did not have to wait long. In a, eouple of minutes they heard a door open and someone entered the room. As soon as they were satished that the newcomer was alone they both Switched on their lights and made a hinge at the startled man. Before the stranger could make even the slightest noise he was knocked Hat and a hand clamped over his mouth. He was bound and gagged and then theyr investigated the situation. The left half of the hreplaee was open, Showing where he had made his en- trance. The whole fireplace was on a cleverly constructed turn-tahle and was c.lperated by springs. They looked into the opening and were astounded at what they saw. A separate room, not geeessible from any other place was upon the opposite side of the fireplace and it was equipped with a very power tul radio set. The entire works, even to the antenna. was'all in the room, but what attracted their attention the most was the laboratory equipment in the room. There were shelves of many chemicals. test tubes, burners, and many kinds of instruments and par- aphernalia which neither boy could de+ time. What thee. began Cliff, but hesitated: one look at Morgan settled the matter. The latter had .a handful of twenty dollar billaebut they were printed on one side only. Morgan was happy. He had at last found his share of adventure. At Cliff's house the next forenoon the two had to tell the whole story over For the benefit of Clith mother and Sister. They asked many ques- tions and Harold let his chum answer most of them. but when they asked the reason for their going upstairs and waiting. Cliff turned to Harold and said. l'I have been thinking about that myself. just what gave you the tip P There was one thing that struck me strange, and that was the idea of that step signal switch, he replied. iiI also got thinking about that music and won- dering just how it happened to come from upstairs. A radio set was the only answer. and I remembered that I noticed a small room under the secret room. As the house had no unsightly bulge on it, I assumed that thEre was another room on the second Hoot. So I guessed. and came out on the lucky end. I felt all the time that the ghost reputation of the house was upheld to cover up some criminal ace tionrjust what I did not know at the time. but you see that look was with us. We made a good haul. The money we make on this proposition will pay our expenses in college this tear. lll wish I had been there, June told Morgan. The latter said that he would have appreciated her presence. After a few minutes of trying to get in a few words, Cliff was wise enough to withdraw. As he left the room he 9. T II R remarked to himself. l'onr Harold. l was beginning to think he was real clever. and then he Heps. Just 100k at them now! In a few minutesmoh. well! I am clever enough to know when to get out. THE SCHOOL SEAL. ilk' PHILIP B. SHARPE, '24. When Portland University hegan the school year in September. 1921, the school was without a seal. However, a few of the students considered that a seal was necessary to the welfare of Portland University. and discussed the matter with Dean Cunningham. Hi5 approval having been obtained. Philip R. Sharpe was appointed a committee of one tn obtain such a seal. After two mtmths nf cerrespomlenee with the artists and designers of The Metal Arth- Company of Rochester. New York. an appropriate design was submitted. The Dean and the faculty approved this design and the matter was passed on to the student body who were also in favor of it. The date of acceptance was; January 131h. Have you ever stopped to consider just what the design on the seal sig- nihes? The center contains a book. a quill, and a torch. The open book signifies Knowledge. and incidentally Powerefor Khowlet'lge is Power. The quill signifies the Bookkeeping. Accounting and Secretarial sciences. while the torch stands for Progress. Remember this and think at it the next time you see your seal. And when you receive your diploma bearing a gold sticker in the lower teit-hand comer. let it mean more to you than just a fancy decorationeit is the em- hlem of your school! P U TI A N- SHE GOT IT ALL. THOUGH! A poet dictated one of his poems to an inexperienced stenographer and this is what she handed him: In the church the bride was stande ing on her head. The orange blooms in her heart: and in her spirit were a dozen sweet perfumes. Down the aisle the groom came walking on his hand. There was a ring in his ear? The organ music made him think; his soul must sing through an alley. Sweet with flowers the band is on the march blowing bugies with their noses. They inhate the scent, the arch and the fiagstcnes in the Huor. Echo forth the happy day. Then the groom cuts of? her heart. One small tress to wear forever. Cam you correct her copy? A school papers 3. good invention, The staff gets all the fame, The printer all the money. And the Editor all the blame. EFFICIENCY. Efficiency! What does it mean? In these days of keen competition we hear everybody talking of ethciency lmt did you ever stop to think just what it nmans? Very briefly, it means do- i'ng the thing at hand in the best. the easiest. and the quickest way possible. In every walk of life the person who is must efheient wins. The student who plans his work. lays it out ahead and let; nothing- interfere with this pro- gram. is the one who is usually near the- heatl uf the class. The one who does his Studying when he has nothing else to tlo. works harder and doesn't accom- plish as much as the other. Take the business man, where is he today without efficiency? His com- petitors slowly crowd him out of busi- THE PUVIAN g ness by their more up-to-date methods. XYalk into a store, if there is 110 one right on the spot to wait on you. what tin you do? Do you wait until some- one shows up? Perhaps 50. but more likely you walk nut and go to another store to make yt-mr purchase. If the Salesmen had been efhcient in that Store they would have hecn on the lookout for customers and would have been ready to serve you the moment you entered. iliake another branch of business. the accounting department. A few years ago the :iierchant had as little as; pos- sible to do with hnokkeeping. He mayr have had a smail memorandum book in which he jotted down what he COuld re- member of the dayis transactions. That method got by because his ex- penses were small and he could get ennugh for his merchandise to cover the transactions which he forgot. To day things have changed. The mer- chant must have accurate information concerning his sales, purchases, and ex- penses. He must know what each arn tide costs him, and what he sells it for, in order to make it pay its proportion- ate RilEITE 0f the overhead or expenses. H one article is priced too low and is not making its share of the overhead, that is the article which will sail in preference to the one which is perhaps too high. and Slowly the profits de- crease. If allowed to continue the husiness is bankrupt. These leaks must be corrected if the husiiiese is to he snuml. In order to correct them an efficient system must he installed. in case of sickness which doctor is called? The one whom we think is the must eFFIcienti Again, I say. the man who is must el'hcient wins. it. W. 1-1 LINT. MISTAKES IN PUNCTUATION. A tourist writing from Switzerland said: The distance was too great for a donkey to travel therefore I did not attempt itU A local newspaper contained this statement: hWe have just built a. schoolhouse for girls four stories high.n A woman wrote: hi wish to seli my piano for I am going to Europe in a rosewood case with carved legs. A clergyman wrote: A young woman died yesterday while I was preaching in the street in a state of beastly intoxication'j Another minister wrote: uI well re- member when I was riding across the prairie with my beloved Wife who has long since gene to heaven in a buggy. A request was handed into the pulpit as follows: WA man going to sea his wife desires the prayers of the congre- gation for his safety. JUST A POEM. It was many years ago, When the woods were dark and tlrcar: The men put powder in their guns, And went to hunt the deer. But now that things have changed about, Upon a diHerent plain The clears put powder on their face And go to hunt the man. THE KAISER. Of all the faces we have seen in our newspapers and other current lite ratttre within the past few years, that of Wil- liam l'IOhenznllern, the former Kais-ci' of Germany, is the most familiar. During lhe war the greater part of the pictures showed him in uniform. with his imperial moustache twisted nu the ends: and turned up at a very lll T H E forbidding angle. Gradually. how- cvcrl his hgure has lost its military hearing. and the moustache droops I'm'lomly. Today. as one glances at the pictures of the world-tametl leader who wrought such destruction but a short time ago. one does not set: the. harsh. impassive face of the man who. though somewhat like Napoleon, so far exceeded him in wanton cruelty and injustice that comparison goes no farther than 21 similarity of ambition: it is the face of a broken old man whose crafty eyes seem to be peering out from under his bushy eyebrows malevolently, both hating and tearing the powers that have brought-him to such degradation. h-A pitiful picture 1 some say. Pitiv ful! Does he deserve pity? Does he: even realize the meaning of the word? Certainly he never indulged in that emotion himself. Did he give even a thought to the sorrow he was causing. except as it promoted his interests? One who committed so many crimes against humanity and the world does not deserve the pity of even the most humble, H ILDA DthJ '25. If you have a bit of news Send it in; Or a joke that w. amuse Send it in; A story that is true A suggestion thatls new We want to hear from youh Send it in. Never mind about the style. It the news is worth the while It may help or cause a smile SEND IT IN. EIGHT SUCCESSFUL SALESMEN. Christopher Columbus sold wool in Genoa in 1439: the output of his fatheris weaving plant. Napoleon Bonaparte was at one time a book salesman. PUVIAX Ulysses S. Grant sold real estate before he went into the army. Henry Clay sold corn and flour. and thus earned the sobriquet llThe Mill- boy of the Slashes. John Jacob Astor laid the foundation of his fortune by selling pianos and flutes. T hornets A Edison began his career as; a newsboy 0n the Grand Trunk Railway. J33; Gould at the age of Fifteen was a clerk in a tin shop. Phil. D. Armour sold groceries 0n commission before he went into the meat packing business. Breathes there a man with soul 50 dead, W'ho never to himself hath said, This load of books is as light as lead? If such there lives. g0. mark him good. He might be worsc.wf course he could! But to 115 he only is a dude. Vthn after a day's work is o'er And from the calendar he tore A sheet; and to himself hath said: Thi-t is the life-it is NOT dead! To me it is my tife. my bread. 0E such a man we shall not speak W'e're sure he'd nt-vcw: make a sheikh So let us close PHILIP Bi SHARPE. '24. SUCCESS-A MATTER .OF ABILITY, CONFIDENCE AND LOYALTY. What is the real meaning of success .7 Most people would say- that success is what you accomplish in your chosen line of work. But is that the very best tlehnition? Is it what you have accom- plished or the way in which you accom- Iished it? Let us apply success to something we all are interested is-our school paper. for instance. lVe are about to issue THE PUYJAN 11 the first number of the thian and we all want to see this he a success. ltYhen a paper is issued for the First time everyone is ready to criticise. Of course we expect sozne criticism but we donlt want too much. so it is up to the school to eo-operate and make this paper he a success. Llo-operation is one of the leading steps to success. You all know the saying. h Two heads are better than one In a way that is co-operationi In the business world CtJAOperatiOn means the getting,r together of certain people and the carrying on of an enterprise without any friction. This is what we are going to do to help bring about the success of the paper. We have an Editorial Board. upon whom rests the largest responsibility. but it is not up to these people alone. lix-eryone must do his share. We do not doubt that the Board has the ability to work it out alone. if it must. but do you think it is fair to them or to the paper for us to dsit back and take it easy? Of course it isn't. We must help in all ways we scan. We must eo-operate with them. Give them suggestions. tell them how they can improve a certain article-theyr will thank you for it, although you may think. What good are my ideas? They have a personality of their own. what would they want of mine ?'i Donlt feel this way. Give them your personality. You have confidence in those people and you are loyal to them. I mean by loyal'l that you will back them up in everything they do. Hut it takes more than ability. con- hdenee. and loyalty. Co-operation. s ystem. and efficiency. are also required in making a school paper a success. 0f co-t'ipemtion l have written. hut what of SYSTEM? Not a very large Word, but has much to do with succees. Where system is lacking there is no ' sueeess-just failure can be the result. 50 let us combine our eFforts and co- operate and make our school paper one that will always he remembered as having heen a great success. Speaking about system reminds me of a story I read in the newspaper a short time ago. A superintendent of a certain coal mine in New Mexico couldn't keep his rent accounts straight because the employees moved from place to place without giving due notice to the company. Finally, as a last re. sort. he posted this notice: iuly the 13 Notis to all them imployed. Anney person or persons that moves into a l-louse Without My Consent shall he put Out Without anney Cemmony. Dam it i Must and Will have some sistom. Signed..........Supt. The above is a good example oi one man's idea of system. LAURETTA M. NIELSON, Q4. MICHAEL COLLINS. Perhaps the greatest of Irish patriots was the late Michael Collins, who was born in Ireland in the year 135m. When lrelandis relations with England were severed in 1916, he returnd to his native land from London, where he had been employed. Soon he became ft trusted ofheer and was always a menace to the English forces. I-leeause he was such a danger to the Iiritish. a heavy price was offered for his capture. Dublin. his home. was in the hands of the British at that time. and it was an extremely dangerous place for him to be found. One night 1'2 THE PL'YiAX he decided to go to his home. and no one could dissuade him. He went in disguise. and as he started to enter his imuse. an English soldier asked him what he wa5 doing there. He looked up at the soldier and said very calmly. Why. I'm Michael Collins. and I live here. The soidier walked off never even thinking that the Michael Collins there was the same Michael Ctillins fnr whom 50 great a reward would he paid. This shows how bravely and how calm- ly he could act under such conditions. Another time, as he was walking along a road. a party of hostile soldiers spied him and called upon him to surrender. Instead. he jumped' over a stone fence alongside of the road and disappeared. Iii 1921 England decided to make Ireland a free state. The Irish leader. De Valera. was against it. so he and Cnllins severed relations. Collins and Grifhth were chosen to be at the head of the Irish Free State. Things did not run along smoothly in Ireland. but Collins tried his best to settle all diffi- culties. De Valera and his followers tried their best to win the Irish nation over to their cause: when it was. found that this was impossible. a rebellion was started. Collins then took his place at the head of the Free State army and pre- pared to settle all matters as 50011 as pessible. Shortly after this Griihth died leaving Calling to do the work of both. It is probable that he would have sueeeeded but like our great patriot. Abraham Lincoln, his life was taken by some cowardly assassin in August. 1922. when it was most needed. His loss was mourned by all. . GLEAan P. QUIMIW, ,25. THE RECIPE. By Baum: Buusv. It's doing your job the best you can, And being fun: to your ieilaw man; It's making money-but holding friends And staying true to your aims and ends: It's hguring how and learning why. And looking forward and thinking high, And dreaming a little and doing much; it's keeping always in closest touch With what is finest in word and deed; It's hcing thorough. yet making speed: It's daring hiitheiy the field of chance W'hile making labor ll brave romance: Its going onward. despite defeat. And fighting staunchly. but keeping swant: It's being clean am! it's playing fair; 11': laughing lightly at Dame Despair; It's looking up at the stars above. And drinking deeply of life and love: It's struggling on with the will to win, But. taking loss with a cheerful grin; It's sharing sorrow and work and mirth. And making better this good old earth; It's serving, striving, through storm and stress, It's doing your Noblestethat's Success! CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. At the present time nearly all the states in the United States enforce capital punishment for murder in the First degree. In some states it takes the form of hanging. others the electric chair, while one state in .the West. Nevada. l'as instituted a new inrm in the use nf poisonous gases. The victim is placed in a cell anti is told that sometime dur- ing the next week. probably when he is aaleep. the gas. which is of such strength that it kills him instantly. will be turned on, A gTeat many peeple think this form should be eliminated because they claim it leaves the victim in suspense for that length of time and is more cruel than the other forms. Diiubtless that is so. But why has nne person the right to take anothet's THE life itierely because he is commissioned to do so by the government? Why isn't he a murderer as well as his vic- tims? People say he is not. merely be- cause the government gives its sanc- tion: but why should the government have the right to order a person killed any more than one 1mm has a right to order the killing 01' another man? In olden times When one man could kill another for any minor thing that came up. they were governed by that oltl Mosaic law which said: An eye for an eye. and a tooth for a tooth? therefore they believed that ii a man killed another man. he. too. should he killed. In 1922. when we have all modern inventions. imprmrements, and every- thing conceivable. we are still clinging m that old law utterly disregarding all other laws and bnoks. People con- tend that it costs tan much to maintain state prisons for murderers. but why is that any- argument for killing a man? Statistics show that in states where capital punishment is enforced. there are more murders committed thin in states where :1 prison sentence is the penalty. Why. then. should we argue that mpital punishment reduces the numlier of murders? There have been cases where a man has been cnmricted on circumstantial evidence. found guilty. and either limited or electrocuted: and it was afternards discrweterl that he really was innocent. and the guilty man is later fmmtli The life of an innocent Iran has heen taken. and the person guilty cf Ill: crime is free. for the mar stitutiona! laws will not permit the kill- ing of two persons for the same crime. ls that fair tn the people? . PUYIAX 13 It would he much safer and better to eiiminate capital punishment in all states and have instead life imprison- ment for the penalty of a murder. This would insure the safety of all so that the stain of killing an innocent man for the crime someone else committed would forever be wiped off the records oi our country. X'mmtt J. ROBERTS, l25. SUCCESS. Of all the words that govern the ambitions and desires of mankind, the most misused and least understood is Success. What constitutes success? Whether the individual Finds himself a suceeSS as the best had carrier in the city. the heaviest plunger in Wall Street, or the largest pillar of his church. depends upon the viewpoint of the judge and the education given him by his people or by life in general. When a child. the-young idea is taught to look up to some great person whose accomplishments have over- shadowed his failings. This worship is transient and as the child grows older he finds hew heights of success. Until he reaches majority his opinibns and ambitions are. in most cases. guided and prompted by his parents and tt: chers. ' He learns to reason and think for himself but not in full power until he reaches his growth and com- pletes his education. Up to this stage he is very impressionable. and lasting quafities may be planted in his mind hy good teaching. But this works two ways. as a young mind' absorbs one tmching .15 well as another. - At this-time. parents and teachers should show to advantage the real value of the different qualities of man 1t THE PL'YIAX :md. above aIl. the idea'thztt there is on such thing 33 something for nothing, shnulll he planted hrmiy in his mind. If. in time. the young idea becomes a millionaire but wanted instead to he a poor minister. or a college professor. harely making both ends meet. that man. from the tips of the World. may he trailed a howling success. but in his uwn mind he will know that he had lost out somewhere. If he has been educated to believe that n'u'mej.r over- shadows good qualities. or that a con- tented state of mind can be gained by whatever he accompiishes,' he is. at least, a success' in the way he was taught. - Hfhen :1 man is so educated that good qualities are helpful in nhtaintng sue? cess and are not submerged in the ohtaihing at it. when the world knows him as a success and acknowledges it. when the man believes himself a sme- 0855 and is contented. then he must have arrived! CHRISTOPHER C. BOYLE, '21: ADDRESS GIVEN. Hy WALTER S. HANNA. l'. S. Vetermllf Ilhtrenlll. I Go to the Ant, thou sluggnrd. wrote Solomon. consider her ways and be wise, which having no' guide. overseer or ruler provideth her meat in the sum- mer and gatherest her food in the harvest. I believe in you men who are to be of the great.to-morrow. that whatso- ever you sow you shallireap. I believe in the efficiency of your training, in the dignity of teaching, and in the joy of serving others. I believe in the wisdom in lessons taught in ability to wotk with yout' hands. as wet! as to think with the minds. You should believe in the beauty of your school, your place of training, in your home, your boarding house. You should believe in the pres.- ent and its. opportunities. in the future and its progress and in the divine joy of living. Edhcation fays the foundation. self- edueation erects the building. Not one of you are so great in your training 01- skilled in your arts that you cannot af- ford to improve yourself. Life is a battle, the victors are those who not only advance to meet every opportunity but daily add fresh prac- tical knewledge. knowing that knowl- edge is not only power but prosperity. flne's education consists of two parts 7what one learns. by himself. and what one learns from others. both are valuable. Remember this, study requires at- tention. Interest is the key of atten- tion. understanding is necessary to'in- terest. Study to remember, study and pay attention to your training systemati- cally. and lastly study to apply your knowldege. Education is a valuable asset and without it to-day you are like a-';ship on the high seas without a rud- deLr. driven here and there by the winds and the tide and at last dashed upon a rocky Shore. Ever since there have been popular Governments in the world, citizens of such Governments have observed the custorn of coming together in times of great emergency to confer. and we are here for such a purpose. people have met in the' past throughout this broad land. to confer on the crisis which we have so recently passed through. to see that no harm came to the Republic in time of war. THIE The impulse of such a meeting was felt h'y millions of our boys on the bat- tlehelds of France, who went there to save the Nations and to save the world.- And because of the fact that you. young men entered the great struggle, some oi you on this side and others acrosjs the sea. we have this one result wtltgre is :10 North. nu South, East or thegtewe are just one Nation fol- lowiti'gvthe Flag that leads the way. Aml'I-pl'edge allegiance to the Ameri- can Hag. aftd t0 the Republic for which it stands, eh: Nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all. And we meet here to-day under the Hag of our country which is flying over our public buildings that has led the brave on to victory and to glory. Not because at the purity of its white. the Valor of its red. or the jus- tice of its blue, but because it symbol- izes human progress, advancement, and the- everlasting brotherhood of man, what nobler purpose can it answer? And as we are all servants under this flag we must have out places of educa- tion. nut training centers, 0hr profes- Hions. whatever they may be. for-many reasons. life must .not forget that the great question before us to-day is the earn- ing of our bread. and this question we cannot evade. There fore we must be educated. we must be skilled in order to be bread earners. This is a duty we all 0we'1to ourselves. to our families, and to our country. And the aim of the U. S. Veteran's luteau and its officers is to instruct you'men in education ahd trades, so as to fit you for the higher walks of life. To-' become better men, better hus- bands. better iathers, and useful and better citizens to the country that gave you birth. PUV'IAN L : We are living in an gge to-day where without any question. practical prob- lems; are many and difficult. The problems of education and training are both psychological. Your training must be social. your school must be a social institution. While in your classroom or at the bench. study and train to acquire knowledge. You are in training to learn: knowledge, however important it is. is but one of the desirable re- sults of your training. It must be ac: companied by other results-acutenesa ot' tiereeption. judgment, reasoning- power, alertness, breadth, eIe'vation of interests, are among the intellectual at tainments which should accompany knowledge-grow out of it and make it practically available, and these should be'secured through the occupa- tions of your training life. If the purpose of your training is worthy and high. the conduct that furthers it will make for good char- acter. The life we live in, pursuing the common necessary ends, is both de- termined by. and determines our characters. It is what we do dailyr and contin- ually when pursuing our. vacations. when not thinking of moral questions. that show what we are and crystallizes cmtduct into character. H hat about 9111' school builclingse Grade. High. Colleges and Universi- ties? What about this building or in- stitution? It is an educational monu- ment in which men and women are taught at the expense of the Nation. receiving the knowledge that will en- able you tn lmild up. and defend, and carry on the Nation. This school building. like all public schools. is Deny ocratic. It receives anti treats all alike, wealth does .119! count. poverty does 111 T H J3 P L. Y1 A X not stand in the way. knowledge is hei'e for all. and I have every reason to believe that Mr. Cunningham and his stat? in the near future will estab- lish a scheol here on this beautiful spot. an educational monument second to none of its kind in the State of Maine. What are our schools and institu- tinns forethey teach facts. Facts that all intelligent human beings accept. In every school someone is at the Head, I mean at the Head of the class. The head of the class is for the man or woman that studies and the Bottom of the class for the student that dees not study. This school and all others educates us in citizenship. believing all men to he treated free 3.an equal and wherever there is a Public Schonl. whether it be a magnihceut High School 01' Univern sity. 0t the little Red School House with the American Flag flying above it, you will find the American spirit growing. There is nothing more beautiful than a classroom full of men well taught. nothing more admirable than the career, the character. the devotion of an earnest instructor. imparting to men and women, boys and girls. the best of his knowledge and concentrated thought, for your good. that true Yankee American Spirit. And in conclusion. what the Nation is. what its laws are to be, its future usefulness in the World. all depend on the school or institution in which you are being educated. Protect this mon- ument. this University, protect all schools. help to build them higher, nnblet, better. and you have provided for the iutttre and the safety of Ameri- ca. And when you cross over the threshold of this school to take your place in the world yoti are leaving a part of a cradle of the Nation's future greatness. America has more colleges. so-called. than all the other civilized nations com- bined. Many of them were founded and have been maintained by the peeple at large. Years ago settlers in the wilderness held on to the itlea of a liberal educa- tion. thanks to onr forefathers, and that same spirit has been advancing ever since. The founders of our colleges and Universities were high-minded, self-sacrificing, devoted to a high ideal. Now let us take our old American col- legesethey have been admirable places for the training of men. Let the roll of graduates of any,' leading institution be scrutinized. 01- even the record of a single class selected at random, and it will be seen that the numher of life fail- ures is very small and the number of useful. ineiligent. higheminded and up- right careers very'large. If such is the case in regard to Universities years ago. what must we as citizens of the L... S. of A. expect of you young men 'cnming fresh from modern Ltp-to-date Universities? The worlcliis waiting for you. as clean. intelligent students; the dom- of tipportunity is open. knock and enter in, it is up to you individually to make the grade. The child as it lives and grows day by day is becoming a man. You as students are becoming higher educated day by day. 1 might term your education as a liberal education by putting your mind and thought on one objective. including a few studies. By so doing it will sharpen your observing powers, im- prove your judgment. When you are trained in this University we have a Fitted to discuss living, political. finan- 'T HE PUYI'AN' 1? righl to expect that ymt wiIl be hatter cial and social questions. men better able to snIve the practical problems of the world. Stand upright and fearless. sturdy in your own strength, loving to your State, loyal to your Republic and legal among your feHow-men. Beyond the gloom of failure 1:05 the glory to be won. When the hard jab is accomplished and the doubtful task is done For it's manhood in the making, and it'F courage nut to test, So Iauckle to the job. your best. ifs your chance to :10 KEEP FISHIN'. Hi Somers was the durndest c1155 Fez- catchin' Eshthc sure was great! He never used to make no fuss About the kind of pole er bait. Er wethcr. neither; he'd jest say, T got to ketch a mess today. An' toward the creek you'd see him slide: A-whistlin' soft an' waIkin' wide. I says one day to Hi. says I. hHow do you always ketch 'em, Hi? He gave his hait another switch in. An' chucklin' says, hI jest keep Hshin'. He took to readin' law at night . n' pretty soon, the first we knowcd, He had a Iawmit, won his fight, An' was a lawyer! I'll be blowed! He knowetl more law than squire McKnah! An' though he had no gift of gah Tn brag about. somehow he: made A sober sort of talk that played The mischief with the other side. One. day. when someone asked if Hi'd Explain how he gar in condishin, He laughed 31f said, I jest kept hshin'. Well, HE is Gov'ner Somers now; A big man round the State, you bet- To me the same 01d Hi. somehow: The same old chamneen hsher. yet. It wan't so much the bait er pole, It wanft 5;: much the hshint hole. That won fer HE his big success: Twas jeet his hshin' cm, I guess: A rheerful, stiddy. hopeful kind Of kerwpin' at it-dm1't you mind? And that is wh; I canlt help wishhf That more of tn would jest keep Fushin'. 7TH: FHIazu Worker, Jordan Marsh Company. EXCERPTS FROM THE CLASS IN BUSINESS ORGANIZATION. What every employer is after is a guod dayhs work for a good day's pay. and the only way to accomplish these results is by having system. HAROLD j. ASNAULT. Efficiency is made up of three essew tials: Discipline. Service and Co-opera- titm. CHARLES E. BELLIS. Of alt the wards that govern the am- hitinm; and desires of mankind. the 11109: misused and least understood is t'Success. CHRISTOPHER C. BOYLE. Laborhsaving devices are not the nnlj: necessary requirements for a busi- ness of the: highest emhiency, as these alone cannot accomplish the best re- sults possihic. but must be supervised by a competent and intelligent manage- ment. RICHARD E. Bmxm Organization has beeh carried alr'mg ever since the beginning of time; with- uut it, society could not exist. ROBERT J. Camnxx. - To have a successful organization the'head of each department must hava one thoughththe welfare of the busi- ness as a whole. JOHN 0. Cum: System is the regular manner in which all parts of a whole are made to function with counrrlinatinn anti regu- latinn. , CLYDE L. Cn'r'mx. CU--Uperati0ll is the keynote to stun cess. IIDRACF. I-1. CUNlemLu-L The success of a business depends llpnn co-Operation. WILLIAM Dmiscn L'CK, 13 THEPUYIAX Consistency and System go hand in hand : if you have one the other is near, and easily acquired. Hexm' F. Dvmx'r. The lack of system is the chief cause of nearly all failures. Cmt'rnx j. FINLEY. Some of the greatest enterprises in this country owe their greatness to the true spirit at co-operation. GEORGE J. FOLEY. The person who is most efficient. wins. BASIL WK l-IUNT. Efficiency is the final result of some past effort. It is the way in which a thing may be done with the least effort. LLEWELLYN A. JOHNSON. Formerly a business vacation was considered beneath the dignity of a gentleman. but today a good business man is highly respected. Roy K. Luce. Personality is a giftrlteing onels self is the first important thing. Hmow A. McALi-zna. Statistics prove that over ninety per cent of all failures are due to lack of svstem. - - 3mm L. MCCREMW. It takes system to start a project. Conxemus J. MCGARIGLE. Personality is the keystone of a sum cessful career, both in business and in private life. Rmmm WE Mnknisox. Where system is lacking there is no successdjust failure can be the result. LAL'RETTA M . N llaLsnx. Lack of friendship destroys co-tiper- ation, and lack oi co-operation deStmys business. CARL. M. PET-rexen.t.. The main thought in business organ- ization today, is to have some sort of system by which the business will he carried on at an advantage. CECIL R. PEERLE. Cn-operation is one of the most im- portant factors in the succeSS of any enterprise. ERVINE L. PRINCE. EFheiency is the reducing of costs of the minimum. and getting full time work from all employees. RALPH C. Rmmms, Jr. When we speak of red tape, we mean that a certain system in operation has several unnecessary steps in it. PHILIP B. SHARPE. System is one of the greatest necessi- ties in any kind of life. C. RICHARD SMALL. Probably more failures have come tn pass because of a lack of system than thru any other reason. ELM ER C. SMALL. ' Without cn-operation. the big things could not he. ARTHUR C. SFRAGUE. You will fmd that the failure of the majority of the business establishments is due to the lack of system. RONALD E. Wnnswonm. Employees are cogs in the machineryr of system. which keep the wheels of progress in motion. FREDERICK P. Wmmx. T 1-1 F. PUYIAN 19 l a: Sparta l as BASKETBALL. All indications point to a successful season this year in basketball. Of course we lost a few men by their leav- ing school, but there seems to he a wealth of material in the Freshman Class. Also there are a few new mem- bers in the Junior Class who give pi-tamise of being a help to the team. Manager Hunt is doing all that he can to produce a strong team. He is planning the erection of an outdoor court so that the teaiti may start prac- tice early this year. This will be much appreciated by the members of the team and shOuId give them a good start before they begin indoor prac- tice. it is very probable that the Port- land lioyst Club uGym wiil be secured for indoor practice. There are three regulars left from last yearls team as follows: Hunt, Stuart and Robbins. Besides these, there are Dorschuck, Wilson. Mc- Garigle. Asnault and Bellis. Without a doubt the Freshman Class has a star in Kenneth Prince. The University probably has other material that is not known. - Captain Asnault has made the state- ment that every man shall have a chance to show what he can do, whether he be a letter-man or not. As this article goes to press, we are told by the manager that a playing schedule has been started. The team will play Gotham Normal Schoal at t'iorham. December 8. Also that he expects to be able: to print the entire schedule in the next issue of this paper. RALPH C. ROBBINS: JIL. '24. FOOTBALL. It has been iinally decided not to have :1 football team represent this school on the gridiron this fall. It seems to us that this is perhaps for the best, as the initial expense of equipping a football team is quite large. This clitl not worry the students much as a call was made for football candidates to turn out, but as there were only eight or nine men out, nothing could be done. The entire stu- clent-hothr seemed eager for a team, but for various reasons some of the stu- dents could not come out. The result was not enough men for a team. My next fall we should have enough money in the hands of the Athletic Association so that there will be no worry over this matter. Also there will be a larger studentvhody from which to pick the material for a team. It was claimed by some that we coultl get started and play one game. In this way, pay our expenses and then play a few more games before the sea- son was over. While this might be ail right, we have our doubts. Foot- ball is the most expensive game for a school to start. It is a good idea not to let one branch of sports get into debt. Each One should be made to pay for itself as in this way they are sure oi money with which to start a season. It is very,r likely that a foot- ball team this fall would have gone in debt. This state of attain; would have handicapped the basketball team ztnd might have handicapped the stal'tlng of a baseball team. Why not start one branch oi major sports each year? Wit: had basketball last year. so why not baseball this year and tnnlhall next? In this way we should have some money with which to start each new team. RALPH C. Ronnms. JIL, '24. m THE PUVIAN e23 Eluhw anh $tinh5 ea! OH. WHY ! Why is it that 11 certain junior ta girl 1 is accused of robbing the cradle? That CIyde Cotton looks :0 happy lately? That Hill Dotschuckk hair is light in Frnnt? That Ralph Robbins carries a perw fumed kerchief tand it isntt hist? And Sharpe was seen with two one Monday morning. Man tin drug stm'et : HI want some consecrated lye. Druggisl: 'tYou mean concentrated lye? Man: t'It does nutmeg any differ- ence. That's what I camphor. W 113th it sulphur. Druggist: HFifteen scents, I never cinnamon with so much wit.'l Man: ttVVell. I should myrrh myrrh! Yet I ammonia. a novice at it? FEnmhrmge. 'tC-olonel Sharpe says he drank a pint of milk and half a dozen dough- nuts for breakfast the other morning. We are very pleased to see the in- terest of Mr. Smith, out French in- structor. in the school. Mr. Smith is usually to be found in his oHiee almost every week day, including holidays. IN THE ART DEPARTMENT. Custnmer: Please give me pattern. leti-L Miss Connor: j.ust nmasure. please? Custmner: I didn't know you need- ed the bust measure for bloomers. The tCoIc-ne! is a strange salesman. The Other day a salesman called him up 011 the phone t0 still him some schuul materialst and the phone conversation closed with Sharpzfs sening him a space in the school paper. Then a iittle later the Colonel nlmnst goes to sleep in the salesmanship class. SOMETIMES IT 15. Two Florida darkies were watching a balloon ascension. The younger darky looked up at the big bag in amazement anti then said: I wonder what keeps that bavloml up in the air that-aiway? K-Vell? replied the Oldfil' datky, 'tIt is caused by various causes. Some- times it is caused by one cause and then again it is caused by another causefr T111; BURDEN 0F P120019. Advertisement in the ttIdaho Falls Registef': anm': a ladyhs leather handbag left in my car while parked 0n Park Ave- nue two weeks ago. Owner can have same by calling at my ofEce, proving the property and paying for this ad. H she will explain to my wife that I had nothing to do with its being there, I will pay for the adeflarimr. We wonder who told Mr. Smith that McCreacly was a Prohibitiouist. Anonymous. HEARD IN THE ENGLISH CLASS. Cayouette: Ginger pointed sky- warmI : The. point '15....unot so much E't Quimby: HGood .N'foming Aloysius 1 THE PUVIAN 2!. lt'i-z anmzk l-VllAT BRADSTREETR RATING WOULD GIVE HIM ON THIS. A young negro came to our ofhee a few days since to open a charge ac count. He answered the usual questions necessary to establish his credit. On lteing asked if he could furnish a good business reference, he nervously replied that he never did anything like that before. Putting his hand in his peeket. he drew out 1111 envelope and said. WW1! that do .w Lipnn examination. it was found to contain a marriage license which he had just procured from the city clerk. -Thp Frrmih- Circle Rimes Brothers Company. A pretty young woman stepped into :1 music shop in the city the other clay. She tripped up to the counter where a 116w clerk was assorting music, and in her sweetest tones asked, Have you 'KiSSed Me in the Moonlight'?,l The clerk turned, looked, and said, tllt must have been the man at the other counter. I have only been here a week. At the junior class meeting the ela'se was discussing the matter of obtaining an orchestra for a dance. Wilson : ll can get a good orchestra for $8.00. Sharpe: llW'hat do you want to :10, hire a vietrola ? At the same meeting, Wilson: t'W'hat is the matter with going out to 31' Dunscmft. Durant: ' I don't want to go out in those jungles. A woman entered a department store recentl-xr and asked 'W'Vhere is the lingerie P DO you mean the rest reimh:w quev tied the salesgirl. In French CEass-Mr. Smith. ex; plaining the translation of the neuter gender: 1 have a grammar, She is tliihcult. Don't get that idea. IT is difficult. It is runmred that Basil Hunt de veloped the Hunt System Of type- writing. lt is not known whether 61' not he discovered llhunting. Deacon Robbins spilled a. story the other day about his inexperience. He said. liOh. we won't upset it. eGir15, ask him yourselves ! ll Asnault was trying to argufy with his auto some time ago. It got very hot, and a committee was appointed to set- tle the argument. After a heated ar- gument with a barrel of mud, the com- mittee won the point. Want AdSr-FOI' Exchange: $85.00 diamond ring for a double-barrel shot gun. . i For Sale: High grade cornetealso shot gun, both for $50.00. In Salesmanship ClasseTeaeher calling toll: Boyle. Two people answered: Here. Teacher; Have we two boils u! here 3 TN ACCOUNTANCY. Hinkley says: All the debits are credit accounts and all Credit Accounts are Dehitsfl It all rlenenrls Hinklev. rm which side at the Dehit the Credit side is mi. Cavmtettef Anvthing that cannot be mnved is a h'lFixed Asset. 22 THE PLTYIAN We :mlice that Elmer Small. '24. is living up 1:0 the reputation acquired in 1132,11 schonl-Jthat is. wearing fancy hose. W'ouldxft it be a good idea to ask 'Cutie Dorschuck the telly of his light hair in front. and the rest of his head dark? Teacher in Salesmanship Class: Lincoln said, All men are created equal'. Sharpe Hrom back of romm : they don't stay that way. .1111; J- 3Dyibus kissibus sweet girlorum, Girlibus likibus wanti sumorum, Kissibus ioudibus. wake up poporum. Kickibus hoylhus nut the front doorum, Darkibus nightibus, no lightorum, Climbibus picket fence, breechibns torum. Wieccit is usually a lie-ability. You can always tell a F reshitf' by his green looks and such. You can always tell a. Junior. but you can't tell him much. Politician: 'What makes Congress- men and Senamrs famous ? ' Soldier: Death. ' 'Did you ever hear Colonel Simrpe' sing ?m Yes, he should be with Wagner. WNhy, he's dead 3 q know it. Student: 29in I want permission to be away from school three days after the end of vacaticm Dean; HAh, three more days of grace ! Student: No, sir. three more days of Gertrude. Professor: H'hy. you are so dumb, lazy and thick. that very few girls would ever marry you. Student: Thafs all right: very few would be enough. Ile: We are coming to a tunnel, are ynu afraid? She: No, not if you take tha: pipe out of your mouth. Sweet Young Thing: 51 think the way college men discuss kissing is ter- rible. Snph. hvishing to pleaseE : So do 1... S Y. T.: lfs unhygienic. Soph: qt certainly is. S. Y. T.: And vulgar. Staph: 'Abs0luteiy. 5. Y. T. Miter gazing at him exp pectantly for a few momentsjp : Well, we might as well go in and dance. GExI-zkous WF. Too. Cupper: A policeman died and I am taking up a collection to bury him. Will you give a doilar? Victim: A Dollar to bury a police- man 3 Copper: Yes. Victim: Herefs ten dollars. Bury ten. Irate Mother: 111 teach you to kiss my daughter! inwlent junior: You're. too late. I've learned already. I When l'iellis. was appointed manager of the lunch counter he voiuntcered this information: h01w.- pound of cof- fee will make 175 cups of tea? M r. Shesnng i n Economicsi : hWhen the rent comes due, we nmve. apt h: T H 1C A LIPSTICK WHOSE Fm'ma Is Goon. I've never kicked at the 'gowns you wear, Your hats 1 most always enjoy. You would look nice in almost anything With the charms and grace you employ. There's only one favor I ask of you I'll state ll 50 I'm understood, Do as you p'eaae with anything-mut- Pat 3 lipstick whose flavor is good. I751; The powder you use makes no difference to me. Violet or some other name. 1 law: nu pnrlieular choice of perlumti. They seem to be nearly the same. But there's one thing I insist on, You'll do it?-l knew you would. It surely will please me-I' don't ask for much- Use a lipstick whose flavor is good. PENN. STATE. anrn. Rastus: tlWThat fo' you-all got yo' pants on wrong side out fo'. nigger ? Samba: ll 'Cause Ah's goin' to due hall m-night and ah wants to git de bag outer de knees. lVilson: I used to work for Jones 81 Morgan. Robbins: Why did you leave ? Wilson: I couldn't stand them: they were always lighting. Robbins : Why, I thought that those partners were the best of friends! I dFd not know that they ever fought? Wilson: Well. they do. They fought all the time. First it was me and jones and then me and Morgan. So I quit. She: Don't you think that talkav live women are the most interesting ? He: tWhat other kinds are there? PUVTAN 2:! 'We suggest that Miss Nielsen stop holding hands in class with W ................ Mrs. Goodridge tin Salesmanshipfl: When you want a piece of pie and your mother leaves the room, what do you do ? Finley: Snatch it. Tm: Comma. Sms': A man who will carry a big hunting dog on his back over a mile'in hard going in the winter over breaking crust, because of the dog's bleeding feet is my idea at a regular He-Man. D0111 worry about what men say of you; think what might happen if they were mind readers. When you reach the mountain top, wig-wag courage to the fellow in the foothills. All of us can help the business by helping to cut-down wasteful expenses. A winning team-purpose and perspiration. A bore is a chap who talks about himself when you want to talk about yourself. Winning teams are not captained by pessimism. Don't expect applause-deserve it. Turn out the lights, it will help save eoaL Hitching your wagon to a star doesn't mean a movie star. Lots of people Crack jokes, but did you ever hear of anyone breaking them? Dad says that he is tired working his son's way through college. EDGAR L. JORDAN HARLAN P. HIGGINS E. LINWOOD JORDAN Insurance and Suretv Bonds CHESTER L.JORDAN 8: co. Room 302, Press Building Monument Square PORTLAND, MAINE 'anngrwa gamma $11M RECREATION ROOMS 24 Billiard Tables Car0m and Pocket 12 Bowling $lleys Soda Shop and Lunch Room Barber Shopw12 Chairs Two Manicurists all on One Floor - PORTLAND, MAINE A. H. SOUVINEY, Proprietor I Overcoats GEO. W. QUIMBY Uerv Specially Priced AT $25.00 Unusual in anlily and THEI- on'ng for the ?rice Allen 8: Company ! 204 Middle Street Eiltnn Eall ' Eining 3131mm Breakfast 6- 10 Supper 5-8 Dinner 12-2 Special Dinner 45c. Five minutes walk from Portland University. Meal tickets on request. JAS. L. HORN, Prop. Art Saturn: Books. summery, Hodaks, Magazines Souvenirs, Pictures, Office Supplies, Greeting Eards, Picture framing of all kinds, waterman Fountain Pens, Ever Sharp Pencils DEVELOPING AND PRINTING 258 Water Street AUGUSTA, ME 606 Con grass Street PORTLAND! ME. Household Outfitters in Portland for 60 Years WE PAY YOU $2.00 in Cash for this adveru tisement if presented to us when you purchase I frcm us $10.00 worth of merchandise. UHEN HIJUPER'S SUNS HATS jfihe thuit TH E D R! N K that knowing palates are call- ingd- the bever- ' age find of the year' '-thesyrup for sauces an forflavoring that countryclnbs,ex- elusive hontelrica and discriminat- ing matron: are proudly Reclaim- - the rich. red fluid that in ma 9 in Portland.Me. and is called HAY'S FIVE FRUIT. Have You Tried It? Th: Homer Punrb- -Dnz:mlcd In lone Hay's Fruit Juice cu. PORTLAND. MAINE 30w Halt!- MIL 1912 in 133ml; winning mumpang Printing of Every Description 151-155 Bracket! Street PORTLAND, ME. E. Alton Bicknell Ehutngraphec 39 Exchange Street PORTLAND firsI-class Photography Reasonable Rates Call and see us before flowing your Christmas work done. THE columbia Barber Shop The Shop Where You Get Real Service Congress Street PORTLAND, ME. Please p-alronize those that advertise in this paper. Business Manager. 61hr: K211112213 $111M! HERBERT S. KENNEDY 235 1-2 Middle St. Beyer Small Specialists in- Maine SecurItxes PORTLAND, ME. , 208 Middle Street Mike Appointmouu Now for Christ- mu Photographl. PORTLAND, . MAINE 133 Keatingk Lunch 17 Casco Street PORTLAND, MAINE the 50m 0! Eleanllnm B. ROSEN Eadies' and Genls' tailor Cleaning, Pming, Dyeing and Repairing a Specialty 218 CUMBERLAND AVENUE RIGGAS BROS. .59! 1-2 Congress Street Expert Shoe Polishing AND HA T RENO VA TING 50m Bee zandv Shop The Heme of Good Candy and Drinks CONGRESS ST PORTLAND JOHNSONS Public Market 24 Wilmot Street For Qxalffy and Low Prices CASH or CREDI T Our Price is the Same Good Clothes for Men, women and EhiIdren ON CREDIT PEOPLE'S BLUTHINB Ell. 457 1-2 Congress 51,, hip one Eight? PORTLAND, MAINE