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Page 33 text:
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Definition: Undergraduates are an inferior form of vertebrates which abound in anatomy and physiology laboratories. Pathology: The gross pathology of an undergraduate is characterized by marked concavity of the tympanic membranes, an alcoholic form of liver cirrhosis, and pressure necrosis of the gluteal muscles. The extremities frequently show the toothmarks of various animals, and, in rare cases, those of professors. Microscopically, tiny bits of paper from the pages of Grays Anatomy are seen to crowd the cortical cells almost into obliteration. Feeoliths in the circle of Willis have been described; they may account for the strange; cyclic behaviour one often sees in this species. Clinical Picture: An undergraduate, generally, presents a striking picture, with injected conjunctivae, an attitude of exaggerated defen- siveness, and the aroma of stray dogs and their excrement. Dislocation of the right shoulder from carrying a microscope is a typical finding. Diagnosis: This is easy in most cases except in the anatomy laboratory, where an undergraduatek resemblance to the cadavera may prove deceiving. In case of doubt, the words 66anatomy quiz,, should be whispered softly. An immediate and total circulatory collapse is pathognomonic. ttThe fearis as bad as falling. SHAKESPEARE
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Page 32 text:
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UHDERCIHSSIHHI MXWWM xx YE FRESHMAN memo EMBARKMG on YE; FOUR YEAR QUEST
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Page 34 text:
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FRESHMEN Wllhe hardest conviction to get into the mind of a beginner is that the education upon which he is engaged is not a college course, not a medical course, but a life course, for which the work of a few years under teachers is but a preparation. Whether you will falter and fail in the race or whether you will be faithful to the end depends on the training before the start, and on your staying powers. . . . You can all become good students, a few may become great students, and now and again one of you will be found who does easily and well what others cannot do at all, or very badly. . . 3, WILLIAM OSLER, M. D. l l. ANATOKY ' xEA A. - m: - Var; rm ONLY HERE TO HELP You FELLOWSH
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