University High School - Tower Yearbook (Carbondale, IL)

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Then in the severest handwriting we find an official-looking document. We didn't know there was really a reason: W hy I Became a Boxer By HBLACKSHIRTU CANADA My parents wanted me to be a painter, but since my talent ran to coloring eyes on persons, rather than on canvas, they decided that I must surely be destined for a doctor's life. No amount of bloody noses, or even my own, upset me in the least. They allowed me to tear savagely at any chance creature coming in my way, sure I was only getting practical M. D. ability. I came to S. I. N. U. I Went out for foot-ball, and for some reason my opponent got an idea I might have boxer's skill someday, if rightly trained. Mac liked the idea, but lost no sleep over my coming glory. De Gi was smaller, and the mightier. I give him credit. I owe all my success to my mother, however. She never told me I'd spoil my beauty. She never fainted when I came in all tattered and torn. She never admitted to the neighbors and my opponents that I was wrong. With Payne as my local manager, and Red MacGowan boosting, can Tunney even have a chance to come back against me? qBut here, what is this? How to Be the Most Popular Young Lady on S. I. N. U. Campus By JANE FEDERER AND M1DGE WHITESIDE Girls, you must know your type, and carry it out. Swain's Ladies Store will help you. You must have personality plus. Read Fifteen Minutes a Day shelf of books and you Will be able to talk brilliantly on any subject. You must be a good mixer, so be social in the mecca of the rating student. olive Soap. Your hands are one half of your beauty, and expression of your inner self. Try Hind's Lotion, and Cutex in sixty-cent packages. You must be a good mixer so be social in the mecca of the rating student. You must go to bed early and sleep peacefully. Try Nervine. This is absolutely not an advertisement. ' Two Hundred Sixteen rain ,, . -A-: p I' A fp '4',.+d, Ll?-113-'tp 1' 1. . , n -' - ' . Ll. 7' ,,fx.'faf4 or - ., I. LJ- kk. I 5. 'AJ 2 4 . ,..A'Y,j i I MJ. V, I, H11 i4 , .35 . . ..ff 9' , I. .A : if 1. gs I I i J. ai . I- . e A . a as ...aa . A A f. --. .A 'ss' - l is-A A? fedlif ill ff--sa . .I ,if X v ,vip-.. ,V f ' V I 'Mg' t. '. ,tj ' 3454.- .: . I 1. . ,. N uf . ., MQ 4 gm. v, . 1 . 4 - 9 ,4 4 4 kr-In -Q It i-'.hFTixw5EA i 4 Ky ... Z. -xbnx ,,y.'1,! s I' Ai-nmsi? V- ' if .m -. -w ' 5- '-'- .41

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ictor Herbert would have. probably been grateful if he had found what we found: How to Write a Comic Opera By JANE RICHARDSON, MARC GREEN AND KENDALL FUGATE First, select your group of prettiest girls, then assure them that they are to wear veils and very long dresses. Next, select a director, but let him realize that in no way will his name be known, or his art lauded-his work is only a gift to humanity. Borrow clothes and costumes from the best known stores, but fail to mention the fact in the programs to avoid any professional jealousy between merchants. Have no main partsg let each one realize he is unimportant. When the cast is all selected, then break the news that the play must be written. Take it word by word from some well-known play, so you won't be charged with plagiarism, and rename it Scarlet Letters, or The Shreikf' Start the production out with some such song as: You're the star in my horizon My chief constellation, You're the flaming meteor Which sent my heart afire. Would I could be with you Always mounting for you higher and higher. At least three people should die in the first act, providing more die in the second to keep from having an anti-climax. Have a dramatic scene of a man shooting the other man, or the mother with little Heva, flying across the ice. Each person in the audience should cry at least five tears to make the play a real success. It would be some- thing new and different if free towels would be presented at this time. W End the play with a hot novelty chorus like: You magnetized You hypnotized You ravanized Me, little star. Stars may be steady But Pm all heady Cause you fell for me. Repeat until all the audience has departed. One chorus will suffice. Two Hundred Fifteen M.v..V- as H - h-v ..?.....i... ni? E swam all M as . ' '45 'W 'N' i, 5 0 ' '- A if O, g,i , , i f ' llli' . RL, A .1-V ' -' 'ii' 'Q i i fl, .. r 4 1- 1 1' ,Q '.' , , , --. , ' -, - . i i t .1- ' i 1 We , ,.., - .. ww .v - '17 ' : ' f 1 P . ' . rg ' ' 'r. -- 4. ' .V-' 3 A J, ' . , , - 5 . -' H , f t 1, pst' Wi i xl L. 4 , .. gi A.. A' .. -f - f i fl ., 1 ' lf- . ' ' 'Q-own-fu ly., ,rf its-J' , A Q .

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This last mummy ease of confessions has a bigger punch for us even than the secret desires of the faculty members onee published in the Egyptian. Who would have dreamed the thoughts of the students rau thusly? Students' Secret Desires Discovered PAULINE SORGEN . MARJORY WHAM . CURTIS HILL . BYFORD WEBB . DOROTHY JONES . JOAN LoUzEAY . Doc ADLESS . ROSCOE Busci-I . GEORGE WELLS . CARL WRIGHT . FREDDY HALLIGAN . JUANITA RICHARDSON DEAN GOETZ . FRANK EOVALDI . HERBERT BRICKER . DAN FOLEY . BUDDY HODGE . to Win first prize at a Housewive's Fair for the very best cake. to go where the male specie was extinct. wants to be caretaker of a zoo-Monkey Section. fWouldn't the monkeys get a kick out of Curtis?j to be a professional tap-dancer, and a real banjoist. to pose for W. T. Benda masks. to be a fire chief, and go to Te's. to operate a wig-shoppe Where he would have access to all the moustaches, searching' diligently until he found one that would suit Helen. to spend every summer selling Harper Bazaar's and dat- ing Ebby. to grow bigger than Bill Howe. to have a girl always near divinely tall and divinely fair. ' ' to be, besides Frankie Trambauer, the greatest musician from Carbondale. to be a good doctor's assistant. to be present at other programs than Freshmen Hops and programs. i to make chapel speeches every Spring. do something mischievous like going out and ringing doorbells. to be always a little boy. to have George Boos, Louis Taylor, and Dan Foley back as the old Musketeers. Two Hundred Seventeen I WIT- gl . .,5!gx,,-Mi rf, NHC I ay, i , A ,Q iii 'if' 1'- -,vri I i f i lit. N.- - , 1 ' rf 31.1 , n g- ' U A :fir U W ',, 5- ji' ' 'jjf ' H ' 2 h 3 ?1 '-Fafiii V' sg . . ge. f r -.r iff