University High School - Flickertail Yearbook (Grand Forks, ND)

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INCONSISTENT PRONUNCIATIONS When the English Tongue we speak, Why is break not rimed with freak Will you tell me why it's true We say sew but likewise few And the fashioner of verse Cannot cap his horse with worse Beard sounds not the same as heard Cord is different from word Cow is cow, but low is low Show is never rimed with foe Think of hose and dose and lose And of goose and also choose' Think of comb and tomb and bomb Doll and roll' and home and some And since pay is rimed with say Why not paid with said, I pray, We have blood and food and good Mould is not pronounced like could Wherefore done, but gone and lone Is there any reason known? REVISED RULES FOR BOOK-KEEPING 1. Be sure to render your parents a statement of your teacher's short- comings at least once a month. 2. Charge all your failures in school to the teachers' account, all your failures in life to your parents. Thus you will avoid all responsibility. 3. Debit your personal account with the things you intend to do, credit it with what you have really achieved, and see if the balance will break you. 4. Always check a girl's promise twice 5. Never try to balance your books on the edge of the desk. SEWING QUESTION Q. 1. What is a flounce? A. Action used by a spoiled young woman when leaving the room. Q. 2. What is backstitching? A. Accidental reversal of sewing machine. EPD . 3. What is overcasting? Action of clouds upon the sky. Q. 4. What is Satin? A. A chair. Q. 5. What is Huting? A. Practicing on a flute. gba: some . 6. What is velvet? . A smoking tobacco. . 7. What is twill? . A poetical contraction of it will. . 8. What is worsted? Any one trying to answer these questions.

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A NEW ONE We see by the paper that a Woman member of the Oregon State Leg- islature has introduced a bill proposing an intelligence test for all people who want to commit matrimony. We would like to suggest the following questions to be added to her list: For the Bride Who was the author of the phrase Two can live as cheaply as one ? Name five other famous liars in world history. Can you bake? Do you intend to? Have you had any previous experience in tending furnaces? Give the principal ingredients of biscuits besides lead. Are you marrying for love, money or alimony? Previous to this has there ever been any insanity in your family? For the Groom Write a 200 line essay on The Goat. Bound Angora. Do you believe that a man should be boss in his own home? Do you intend to say so in a whisper or in a command? If a married man walks five miles a night carrying a ten pound infant with the colic, how many miles would he cover in the same period if he were single and carried nothing but a carefree disposition. BEAUTY HINTS To make the eyes sparkle, remove the skin of an onion. To have dreamy eyes, eat cold mince pie at midnight. A punch in the eyes makes them big. To enlarge a small nose, balance a bumble bee on the end of it. To improve the voice, sit on a mud-bank and talk to a frog. . If you want curly hair, buy a wig. To make your face plump, expose yourself to the mumps. To cultivate a winning smile, fall in LOVE.- . PROBLEM. HOW MANY APPLES DID ADAM AND EVE EAT? Solution: If Eva 8 and Adam 8 also, total 16, : If Eve 8 and Adam 82, total 90. : If Eve 81 and Adam 82, total 163. : If Eve 81 and Adam 812, total 893. We believe the following solution, is the right one. If Eve 814 Adam, and Adam 8124 Eve, Total 8938.