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Page 116 text:
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INCONSISTENT PRONUNCIATIONS When the English Tongue we speak, Why is break not rimed with freak Will you tell me why it's true We say sew but likewise few And the fashioner of verse Cannot cap his horse with worse Beard sounds not the same as heard Cord is different from word Cow is cow, but low is low Show is never rimed with foe Think of hose and dose and lose And of goose and also choose' Think of comb and tomb and bomb Doll and roll' and home and some And since pay is rimed with say Why not paid with said, I pray, We have blood and food and good Mould is not pronounced like could Wherefore done, but gone and lone Is there any reason known? REVISED RULES FOR BOOK-KEEPING 1. Be sure to render your parents a statement of your teacher's short- comings at least once a month. 2. Charge all your failures in school to the teachers' account, all your failures in life to your parents. Thus you will avoid all responsibility. 3. Debit your personal account with the things you intend to do, credit it with what you have really achieved, and see if the balance will break you. 4. Always check a girl's promise twice 5. Never try to balance your books on the edge of the desk. SEWING QUESTION Q. 1. What is a flounce? A. Action used by a spoiled young woman when leaving the room. Q. 2. What is backstitching? A. Accidental reversal of sewing machine. EPD . 3. What is overcasting? Action of clouds upon the sky. Q. 4. What is Satin? A. A chair. Q. 5. What is Huting? A. Practicing on a flute. gba: some . 6. What is velvet? . A smoking tobacco. . 7. What is twill? . A poetical contraction of it will. . 8. What is worsted? Any one trying to answer these questions.
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Page 115 text:
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DEPARTMENTAL DEDICATIONS CHEMISTRY GOSSIP The days when Arthur Mometer would call On his beloved Ethyl Alcohol, And gaze into her crystalize, argon. No longer is his nitrate three a week Nor does suspecting Aunty Mony peek Atom in the still night out on the lawn. And past are times when young Ben Zeen would mount With Ann Hydride, the stools at a soda fount A lemon phos for us and sody, Um! He'd often say, Nor have I told you all, No longer Ben's son Burner stands in the hall And waits for little Carrie Sene to come. You ask about these famed ones, Florence Flask A1 Cohol, Sally Moniac, why ask? They're all working for that student crew, They've put out Al Tropic's other eye, And we're afraid Percy Pitate will die, No wonder little Jenny Rator's blue. ' MISS COLVINTS PET PROBLEM A squirrel ran from one end of a log to the other in 15 seconds, and ran back in 14 seconds. How long would it be before he could look out of both ends at the same time? SUCH 'RITHMETIC A high school teacher received the following note, Dear Madam, please excuse my tommy today, he won't come to skule becuz he is acting as time keeper for his father, and it is yor fault. U gave him an example, if a field is 5 miles around how long will it take a man walking three and one-half miles per hour to walk two and one-quarter times around it? tommy ain't a man, so we sent his father. They went early this morning and father will walk around the field and tommy will time him, but please don't give my boy such examples again, becuz my husband must go to work every day to sup- port his family.
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