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Page 114 text:
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CERTAINLY Mr. Nerhus- It takes the rays of the moon four years to reach the earth. Lyons- We ought to save some of that moonshinef' IMPROVING Mr. Kazda lseriouslyj-- How long did the Seven Year's War last? Lucille fblanklyj- Why seven years, wasn't it? Mr. Kazda- That's right, your recitations are getting better. THE VULGAR THING Anstett-That train smokes a lot. Gallagher--Yes, and choos, too. .lliii BIOLOGY The tall pine pines, and the pawpaw paws, The bumble bee bumbles all dayg The grass hopper hops and the eavesdropper drops. While gently the cowslips away. SIX WAYS TO KILL A FLICKERTAIL 1. Don't buy a Flickertail, borrow your neighbors. Be a sponge! 2. Look at the ads, but deal with no advertisers. Be a chump! 3. Never hand in articles but criticize everything in the annual. Be a knocker! 4. If you are a member of the staff be sure to waste your time at the movies and have a good time instead of tending to business. Be a shirk! 5. Tell your neighbor that he can get more for less money in a maga- zine. Be a tightwad! 6. If you can't hustle and help make the annual a success, be a corpse! FRESHIE I know not why the sun does shine, I know not why all zeroes are mine, I know not why the birdies sing, In fact, I don't know anything. HELPFUL HINT Austin-Say, what can I use to polish ivory? Sophie Garrison-Did you ever try a shampoo? INMATES OF THE SAME ASYLUM Cuckoo Guy-Say, janitor, is that clock right? J anitor-Yes. C. G.-Well then what is it doing here?
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Page 115 text:
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DEPARTMENTAL DEDICATIONS CHEMISTRY GOSSIP The days when Arthur Mometer would call On his beloved Ethyl Alcohol, And gaze into her crystalize, argon. No longer is his nitrate three a week Nor does suspecting Aunty Mony peek Atom in the still night out on the lawn. And past are times when young Ben Zeen would mount With Ann Hydride, the stools at a soda fount A lemon phos for us and sody, Um! He'd often say, Nor have I told you all, No longer Ben's son Burner stands in the hall And waits for little Carrie Sene to come. You ask about these famed ones, Florence Flask A1 Cohol, Sally Moniac, why ask? They're all working for that student crew, They've put out Al Tropic's other eye, And we're afraid Percy Pitate will die, No wonder little Jenny Rator's blue. ' MISS COLVINTS PET PROBLEM A squirrel ran from one end of a log to the other in 15 seconds, and ran back in 14 seconds. How long would it be before he could look out of both ends at the same time? SUCH 'RITHMETIC A high school teacher received the following note, Dear Madam, please excuse my tommy today, he won't come to skule becuz he is acting as time keeper for his father, and it is yor fault. U gave him an example, if a field is 5 miles around how long will it take a man walking three and one-half miles per hour to walk two and one-quarter times around it? tommy ain't a man, so we sent his father. They went early this morning and father will walk around the field and tommy will time him, but please don't give my boy such examples again, becuz my husband must go to work every day to sup- port his family.
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