University High School - Flickertail Yearbook (Grand Forks, ND)

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Illlilllill Ili I . lille! TUTANKHAM'EN'S GRAVE fFrom which the joke editors obtained most of their jokesl Apology by Joke Editors Dear Everyone: This is a splendid opportunity to plead our cause, or ask forgiveness beforehand if we have offended any. But please remember that we should not get full credit or blame for writing everything in this department. We want to thank all who have co-operated with the joke department, either by handing in jokes or, better still, by making or being the jokes. We hope that next year, our successors will receive the same or more co-operation and support in making the Joke Department bigger and funnier than ever. DE-MENTAL TEST All who would peruse this humor section should first take this test to determine the extent of their dementality. If you can pass the first part your grade is A. The passing of the second part entitles you to an A squared and cubed, and if you succeed in passing the third part you shall receive one highly polished nickel-plated miniature dumb-bell to be used as a watch charm. If you pass the test in five minutes you will be doing it twice as fast as someone who does it in ten. PART I--OBSERVATION TEST The following questions will indicate how much you notice the little things in lifeg this is important as you must get accustomed to see and get hold of small change. Answer yes or no. 1. In the main corridor is the statue of the Winged Victory of Samo- thrace. Is she standing or flying? 2. How many inches are there in one hour? 3. Are the floors varnished or hardwood? 4. Does Miss Colvin part her hair or wear it pompadour?

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PART II-MIND-CLEARNESS TEST This is very important, follow the instructions carefully. Look at the ceiling, then look at your feet.-What did you do that for? -If you missed the car that got you out to school at nine o'clock and caught another fifteen minutes later, how late would you be ?-If you subtracted four from three what would the sum be ?-If it isn't why isn't it ?-Do not fail to answer the following questions unless April has thirty-one days. -What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen ?-When riding in an automobile traveling 60 miles an hour, multiply your age by the rate of speed traveling and divide by the number of times your heart beats per minute and you will get the date of your death expressed in quarts.-If you were caught in the rain with a lemon-squeezer in your hand and an awning was down across the street, what would you do?-What did Columbus do after he died ?-If he didn't why did he? PART Ill-ORIGINALITY TEST Fill in the words which are left out. 1. He fell in the mud and said-. 2. Captain Kidd ate a ---. 3. ---- is the 1 teacher in the school. 4. We . Read and in the substance thereof, thou shalt find nothing. PRIMER NOTE G. is for Greenberg so talkative and read The Lord only knows what he has in his head. . .-.-.i A REASON Victor Bonlie- Why are Bettina, Robert and Lyle so small? Noble Austin- They were raised on shortcake and condensed milk. A COLLECTOR Andos- Don't bother me, I'm collecting my wits. Harding-- I beg your pardon, I didn't know you were a collector of rare specimens. I BAN Katherine McMillan- Are you from Sweden ? Swanson- No, why do you ask? Katherine- You dance as if you had snow shoes on. NO DOUBT Dorothy- I wish the Lord had made me a man. Ray- He did, and I am that man.