University High School - Bisbila Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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I X I V E R S I T V H I G H SCHOOL, M I X X E A V O L I S “I-awrence Paist-----writer of popular song hits-----presented on all well- known New York stages-------musical comedy entitled, ‘I'll Say She Does, but You Tell ’Em,’ presented at Little Theater---big financial success. “Giants Win!” shrieked the Ouija with a sudden flourish. Very plausible, indeed; but what had this to do with our illustrious class? “Jack Eaton, the Giants’ star catcher smashes ‘Babe’ Ruth’s envious record. Six home runs in one game.” “Impossible! said I. “Relieve me, or call yourself a liar, snapped Ouija, and stopped, stalk-still. Rut again it moved! “Hislop and Brock! Greatest show on earth! shouted Ouija. “See Dot Bowen and Gladys Kuehne, the bewitching snake charmers with brands Colgrove, the spineless wonder. Well, well, Ouija spilled quite a line that trip. But thump,—it had not ceased yet. Cecille de Mille presents Lucille Brock and Phillis Clemetson in the Rival Vampires.' It's stupendous! Gorgeous spectacle! I seized the Ouija in horror. How could such a thing be possible? But the thing was raving, it couldn’t stand still. “Jacobson, Pierce and Staples, beauty parlors, lemon lotion and henna rinses a specialty. Personal attention to every customer. No smoking in massage parlor. Ah, well! Talent will rise to heights of fame! “Ouija, prophesy! Give us Elijah's judgment on Theodore Ericksen and Fred Clark. The Ouija again moved. “Clark and Ericksen, stock brokers. Cornering A. (jump’s ‘Carp Caviar.' So fitting a finish for our noble financiers! The thing was still moving. Erma Schurr and Lloyd ye. famous ventriloquists,” the Ouija l oard informed me, present their comedy skit entitled, ‘Blow Me Back to Cuba. Where the Balmy Nectar Flows.' What are Raymond and Eber doing? My answer was: “Eber Erickson and Ray Hanson lead wild band of “I ' High marauders into Carpalatchian Mountains for outing after seven years of solitude. The little thing still moved! Lillian Borreson and W. Eunice Hughes, palmists. Step in and have fortune read (light yellow, if preferred). Our large assortment assures your complete satisfaction. You have tried the rest, now try the best.” I had scarcely ! egun to think about Harry Hillstrom before the little table rat-a-tat-tatted across the board. It then jazzed fora while. We interpreted this to mean that Harry is now a “jazz-bander. (Juija seemed somewhat disappointed when obliged to admit that Carl I mg-land had recently perfected the “Johnsonite Political Graft Machine” in California. Will Caroline Murray ever he a teacher?” The little helper aided me by submitting, “Caroline Murray—national Suffragist leader. We always knew that Caroline made the most of her Social Science course! Bill Coffman—and the )uija was off at a great rate. Just brought into court-----sorry condition----arrested by a speed cop for driving on side walk-----life sentence.” That’s the way it always is. Sins will repeat themselves! Jim Bohan! The Ouija sadly informed us. I see Bohan standing in front of a little tumbledown store, under three golden balls, supported by a shabby old-clothes model. Page Xineteen

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ini! □iitiiiiffiiniiiilflttiiiiii!!mini iiiiiio iMiiiBiiiiafWRnniBiiinnmiiRinniiBniiiiiiiiinaflfxnKStiiiiiHKHimimiiiiiiHTniiiiiiiirtr rciiiiininiixiiiininniiNiiii nil iitiiim.iini T H E N I N E T E E X - T W E X T Y B I S B I L A appointed by Hiram Johnson. Much respected by natives; vision extends from one island to another. Grown dignified! Xot so surprising, at that. 1 remember he once told Ruth---- “Ah, yes! Ruth Palm.' The Ouija did not understood meat first. ‘‘Ruth Palm, 1 repeated : “short for Palmer. Then with great understanding the table sped across the board, informing me thusly, “Ringling Brothers----featured clown------big salary----exciting life!” Exciting life! What did it mean? Again the Ouija tore across the letters, “Invents new dances for all the clowns in the circus-----exciting life. So that was it! Such an exciting life! I never once supposed Ruth would come to this. What will ever happen to Hugo Miller? I really did not expect the Ouija to solve this enigma—but lo and behold !—the thing moved ! “Hugo E. Miller-----missionary to I'topia----big lights with E. V. Moulton -----Moulton trying to teach natives German-----Miller objects because----- Here the Ouija tumbled off the board, and. say what 1 would, the persistent little thing refused to budge. W hen I inquired about Edward Grunike, at first the Ouija did not move, and apparently rebuking my inquisitiveness. Later, however, it informed me: “Ed Grumkt------great author-----latest book just out. ‘My Adventures in an English IV class’---very popular-------best seller. “Won’t Ed ever do anything more exciting than that?” I inquired. But all I could get out of the ()uija was, “My! I low curious we are! Mercy! Too bad! Ed Grunike tied down to a literary career! Now. Marguerite Robinson------oh. yes, Marguerite, of course! What will she become? The sacrilegious little thing answered me in this flippant manner: “)V gods, how should know? Ask her After much coaxing and urging on my part, and much squeaking on the part of the Ouija, I learned: “Miss Robinson, professional Sunday school teacher -----teaches children 'mathematics’ during class time---very beneficial!---keeps them occupied and interested------has set up a second Oak Free in church-------- entire Sunday school out every Sunday!” “Is that all? I persisted. “Isn’t that quite enough for one person?” questioned the Ouija. “I've run out of wind! I gave the Prophet time to catch its breath before inquiring about Elvira Butler. “Good old Elvira, what will lx come of her? The Ouija did not hesitate. “Head cook in waffle parlor-------recommended by Miss de Boer------because of excellency in Erench----luxurious home life----- studies music on the side-----learning to play phonograph----specialist in Yictrola music. By this time. I had begun to believe that the Ouija was intoxicated, for, without any assistance on my part, it was stumbling, staggering, reeling, and falling across the board. Finally, partially recovering, it spelled out: “1 am a ship--- I’m seasick. Lady al oard-----name, Helen Jackson-------traveling to Switzerland -----plans to circumnavigate Lake Geneva to obtain ideas for new serial appearing in ‘The White Cat Serial entitled ‘The Wild Life.' The Ouija ceased staggering and began to dance from letter to letter, “Oh, please hand in your contribution—the paper’s six months late! To whom was the Ouija referring? It sounded like Orrie Paist. but------- Page High teen

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!r: - ;i;ii -ih - i 1 Jiiiii , hn;i ir phi.I ivr!•«•» 1 1 in ' ‘ i r !■ m 11 hiii'IM ik i nr? T H E X I N E T E E X - T Y K X T Y B I S B I I. A After Ouija had taken a short nap. it informed us concerning two of our most prominent Seniors. “Mildred Jaynes. Helen Baldwin-------engaged in (lirl Scout work-----recently given high awards for service to country. )uija then went on to say that Katharine Hall was starring in “Oh, Maiden Fair With Lovely Hair, at the new Metro-Shubert. Tickets. $15. Katharine always did have a good deal of hidden dramatic ability. Have we no artist in our midst ? Hut wait! “Lois Wilde-------invents new family for page of ‘St. Paul Dispatch’--------- Alakadrosky------surpasses ‘Min and Andy . With very little coaxing on my part, 1 received valuable information concerning Caro Jurisch and Cathryn 1 Iaisley. “Haisley and Jurisch, street orators, declare for One Big Union and an All-world Strike.’’ How interesting! But is Ouija confiding in me? Wilma (lerst-----noted politician-----Republican ticket------Lucille Larson opposes her------runs independently--------close shave for governorship of New Jersey. “Well, 1 belie?'e the irksome task is finished,” I said to myself. The Ouija chose, however, to disagree. Don’t be so hasty. Elfrida Lundeberg, directress of tin pan symphony, specializes on combs and rubber bands----very talented woman.” At last my conscience is clear! If each member of the Class of 1920 does not choose to follow his natural bent and calling, he has no one but himself to blame for his failure in life. Tale of an Overworked Senior I 'M only jest a little girl, Miss Schill. she says I’m frail. (I 've been studying Social Science. That’s why I’m looking pale.) When bad teachers call on me, They musn’t scare me so. ’Cause if they do, 1 may leave school, Then where will their jobs go? My dad, he says right out to them, “See here, you teachers, quit!! I s’pose we ll have to compromise, 'Fore Winnie has a fit! I’m growing weaker every day. My life will sure be brief. I've even planned the funeral, So firm is my belief. Oh, teachers, can’t I do something To make you all agree That fewer lessons and more sleep Would suit both you and me? I ate Twenty WlNNlFRKI) H IT. I IKS.