University of Central Missouri - Rhetor Yearbook (Warrensburg, MO)

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14 RHEEORQQYWQ Ehuratinnal -Evpartmrnt Our dean, C. A. P.-he is great, For him you may study quite lateg But yet it's a pleasure, No matter what measure Wfe know he's the best in the State. There was a Professor McPheeters, Who could not sleep for miskeeters, They bit an axone, His psychology had tlowng, 'Twas a dendrite, cried Mister McPheeters. One lady, Miss Humphreys, they say Gives work quite enough for the day, For her you will work V Never wanting to shirk, For a pleasure her work is alway. A professional teacher named Hudson, VVho usually 'has some brown duds on, Says, Stick to your text: It will help you get next To a grade, says this pedagogue, Hudson. f J J B B ' EtE' fQ ' Hhgniral x iihuraiinn 't HYSICAL training became a part of the established work of the Normal School in l904. ln l906 the Dockery Gymnasium was completed and furnished with adequate equipment for all kinds of physical exercise. ' The work in this department consists in gymnastics, calisthenics, apparatus work and all indoor games, as well as tennis, hockey, field and track work. Each year new and better equipment is being added: a bowling alley has been opened up for both girls and boysg the tennis courts have been improved and enlarged, and extensive indoor apparatus has been procured. This year for the first time the Normal will take part in the intercollegiate track meet. Much interest is taken in this department, both by the students and by the town people, and the exhibitions which are given each quarter are attended and enjoyed by large crowds. ' Nl: a be we be flu So they for writi knowled for a La So they The a book of rea It is said t he, and in round aboi President 1 appeared b words gave eliminated These way. And makes a nz the unreal i , 18- I -19 l l

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.ess amount of work and vith an exalted opinion amount of learning that d really I know I ought l or a square Y. They .rent from other people. why should we? Isn't sually brave and great t the Normal. I had d learn. For example, ents. E to go to the basement, ree to go out onto the nvention if you please, just where the beauty of the universe. 1 and try to remember. rig., and that the uni- ie Math. Department. 16- , -'-Y -- - ... , - -1.-nzrnvswvu erm: :z:.:ar.'ng.:-. . , M ,,J,,,,,.mg.i-udgaz .. -..rv-,.::: ... . .- ., . -V-.V . f. . . -.. .. .5u.1:.sm:-zzzfffz . ,,., -..: ...., .- V- -. - .. -4- . -- - 3 ..Nfx. X' L ee Eihrarg 6 HE Librarykthe fount of learning at which each Normalite must sip whether he will or notmholds within its depths, or lengths, or breadths, sufficient wine of knowledge to put in a state of permanent delirium the entire student force and faculty. The faculty, being fondest of the said wine, drink deepest, and are therefore nearest to the state of collapse which inevitably follows overindulgence. The majority of experienced students are far less addicted to the thirst for knowledge. None imbibe with relish at first-except a few, like Boley and Cramer, who have no doubt inherited the taste. But immediately upon entering the institution unsuspecting young hopefuls are caught in the traps set by the faculty, and eventu- ally land in the great room crowded with tables and chairs, where silence reigns supreme. But occasionally the spirit of callow youth breaks its bonds, and whispers-actually whispers-circulate thru the great room where the three minions of the Silent Kingdom look clown with sad and stern concern. The ones so daring are Hsquelchedn at once by these able scions of justice, Blair, Cook and Shryock, who, by the way, also deal out the elixir from the fountain of learning. The lightest form of punishment inflicted on offenders is banishment from the great room crowded with tables and chairs. For details see Erdie Hershberger, Helen Redford, or Marion Quinlan. ' Many noble young lives have been sacrificed in the effort to secure release from this tyrannic rule. As the result of an attempt to defy the oppressor, Ben Thurman now wanders, a witless creature, bereft of brains and minus an appetite for any sort of elixir whatever. The latter affliction is more noticeable than the former, since it occupied the greater part of Ben's organism. By the senior year the habit ffor brevity called the library habitnj of drinking from the source of wisdom becomes fixed. The sallow, wild-eyed personages seen in the halls are harmlessg they are but seniors who are attempting to equal the reputation of the faculty for imbibing from said source. The keepers, Blair, Cook and Shryock, touch not at all, as is the custom of those dealing in elixirs. It is only thus that they are able to keep their wits about them and serve us so wisely and so well. NEW BOOKS RECENTLY ADDED TO TI-IE LIBRARY, A Study in Expletives-Oakley Kauffman- A Little Ministry-Mary DOUSIHSS- A Tooth-pick Capers CA Modern lnterpretation of Dickensj-Libby Bell. Self-pronouncing Dictionary fcontainingnonly unheard-of wordsj-Bert Woolsey. Weenies-From Raw Material to Consurner4Freddie Hacker and Buck Kauffman. +17

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in I906 the s of physical nor games, as dg a bowling largedg and ' part in the e exhibitions 18- , I , , ,,, ...,.... ..... - -' '- ir - -.a,.x -- :.u.e,s:f A,-,.:.-..g.,m.f..u.'1.'-e:-1:'.:':.t'1'f71+'1'fq 11t,' . ,.. ,., U ' , -, .. 'ff ' i f 1 Q'f ,', ', , I , .J ' '. ' ,A'- -flfll-,. A H , ,- QE an n g II a g P 5 'Q' ND the whole Normal School was of one language and all the students elected Calculus rather than Latin, as set forth in the catalogue, for in the school there was no Latin. And it came to pass that the students became puffed up with pride and they lifted themselves up and said Behold we shall learn all things lest we be flunked and when we are asked a question then shall we all answer rightly. Let us make a name for grades. So they began an enormous notebook which would hold all their brains. For they had paper for books and pens for writing. And the President came to see the notebooks and the President said, Behold they are all of one knowledge and there is nothing that we can withhold from them in the way of grades. Come, let us telegraph for a Latin teacher and Caesars and Beginning Texts that they may not be of one knowledge and one language. So they were stopped in their efforts and were scattered and the notebook no longer flourished. The above is an accurate and authentic account of the gift of tongues as it is on the pages of the official book of records. But there is other interesting and valuable information that has come to us by word of mouth. It is said that the proudest student entered Latin. l-le was given Stella to decline. That means star, said he, Hand in this a star l shall bef' By the time the nominative plural was reached stellae were in the air all round about. So much the students suffered from these stars that they seemed comets. But after awhile the President repented his sternness and French and German were put in as a safety valve. At first signs of pride appeared but soon they all disappeared. The future perfect passive subjunctive was effective and the French words gave not only mental exercise, but such physical exercise that for a while football and basket ball were eliminated from the curriculum. l-lowever, soon a stage of equilibrium was reached. These departments have been very successful not only in accomplishing their original purpose, but in every way. And the students of each department are friends to one another. It seems that as a common tongue makes a nation, so a common language training makes friends. And even though we blink with confusion at the unreal conditions, yet we are glad that our training and friendships, the results of these departments, are real. Our history instructors are four, You'll agree we'll ne'er need more: They all fill the bill And I'm sure you will Never find history a bore. At the head Mr. Hendricks you see He's as fine as a teacher can be. We all him adore And in times of need sore, He helps us out to a tee. -19 SSS igiiainrg Q.. -Ze. ,Q Q 70s 'MN A third is a small suffragette, VVho works with her pen, too, you bet. She vows she will vote, So you just take note, Her name will get historied yet. Then next there's a man named Mcflure lVho knows a lot to be sure, In history he's grand, For right he will stand, His influence must always endure. The last is a young fellow named Bass VVho to smile you never need ask, Sighed he, I am sure My smile is a lure. And he still is smiling, alas!