University of California Berkeley - Blue and Gold Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

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to the nret-tJme vlattor, can1l|pKRhiB- Shocklno. maybe even frightening. Thbik of K; you ' re a high school aenlor ftxxn, say. Hacienda Height and you ' re on a coOege tour, and one of the •top on yow Mnefaiy la CaL Yiju ' re walking through Sprout Ptaxa when auddenly you hear a walk Y ' SHClAIll ■ Wd, maybe tt ' » not that a y, but to the uninitiated. Dave, the rShua Quy, is qidte a pectacle. If you are one of th lailnltlated, let me Introduce him to you. Y ' Shua Dave Is one of Cal ' s meat gregartous, and nimHe, Sprout preacher . He Is typically (weU, actually, always) found weaiii a blue tee-shirt printettilrtth VShua on both front «td back. His hair Is as white as if he had seen a ghost, and he is nenr without his leather-covered Mbie. Dave is never akme, or, at loMt, he ' s never let akne. Ahvay within kissing distance is the Hate Man or one of Ma cohorts, wipae only occupation, it wouU seem, is to heckle Y ' Shua. Nothing comes out of Dave ' s mouth wMmuI retaHaUon from one of his adversaries. From the Hate Aran ' s point of view, A preacher is aomeone who ' s startdlng on a box yeOtaig at me, saytng that I ' m a sinner. You ' re gonna go to Haven, I ' m gonna go to HeD. That ' s a verbal assault on me, to which say, ' Fuck you. ' To the n e wc omer who is maware that this Is a dally sight on Sproul, these conflagratfcsns may look qiite vtoient Some might fed co mp eted to break 14) the scene before fisticuffs are broken out Althoui K seems that Dave ml( fed competed to throw a punch or two at the cross- dressbig Hate Man, no one has any memory of this ever happening. Instead of flytng fists, the only weapons of the warring parties arc sharp insults and A Hate Man wannabe is 14) In Dave ' s face, screaming com m e n ts about Dave ' s to the crowd and says. This man Is a Moslem. The heckler returns, This man is a Hate Man Is Davf - meats, however, and sticks to deeper analysts than wtiether might be at the IT- eve ' s messWnic caBng. So what Is Y ' Shua? Don ' t ask. That ' s what the hecklers are there for, though they stM jbav gotten a straight answer. What is known Is that Y ' Shua is a Jlff e i e nl pratHjndatkxi, or to I3ave, the true name, of Jesus. For years I preac h ed Christ. says Dave, but I fou His name was Y ' Shual (Hate Man: You made that up yoursdfl ) Apparently, Dave Is „ reUgkin, but It seems that he and his few folower s (some of whom also have Y ' Shua tee-shirts) are the only member of the c o ntf e galto n. Everyone doe is going to Hefl. S(x the big questton Is, how can I imttata Y ' Shua Dave at my next dinno ' party? Costume Is no problem. Make sure to hoU an a bridged bibie In one hand and pace back wtd forth with your head down (kind of ■» Odd). Look up and say, You too can be normd. . .Just like MEl At MEl tft up yoia ' arms and leap toward Heaven. To perfect your imitation, you must master Dave ' s p a t e n tad dance of Joy. Take three naming steps arxl leap while completing three-quarters of a revolution. Repeat three times and scream, VShud Oh. wdt, Dave doesn ' t scream. I can ' t stand people who scream, says Dave. So what are you doing then, Dave? I ' m yeUng — there ' s a nuance.

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K August 26, 1992 hiMii MAii 1