University of Arkansas Fayetteville - Razorback Yearbook (Fayetteville, AR)

Page 15 text:

THE CARDINAL NINETEEN TWELVE “He must not take it out!” conies Ripley’s quick shout, “That will be nothing short of a sin; Make him keep it stopped up, for there isn’t a doubt That what he takes out we shall take in.” “0, dear me,” sighs the Judge, “look here come Knock and Dunn, We must wait for them here in the hall.” “Don’t Knock on them, please,” pleads Professor Gladson, “They have Dunn well to get here at all.” “It is vulgar to pun,” Shannon whispers with force; “The low wit of that Prof, is quite shocking, His pun should be punished with pungent discourse — But it’s Dunn, and there’s no use in Knocking.” “We must wait here a minute again,” sighs J. T., “For here comes Brough, Steele and Purdue.” “Don’t lose patience, dear sir,” begs the Dr., “with me, You would pity me if you but knew. “My furnace fire died and the water pipes froze, I had no poem for the occasion, And I lost all of an hour ere I ’rose, In composing a fitting quotation.” “I speak for myself and for Steele,” says Purdue, For, though late, it is not our fault, but ’Tis the fault of an earthquake we’ve been to view — You will find the fault down in the Cut.” “Cut it out,” drawls the Cap, “Must 1 stay here all day? Pretty soon 1 shall stick to the floor.” “You’ve stuck now,” Adams snaps, “till I’m sure I can say That your stick-book won’t hold any more.” [15

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THE CARDINAL NINETEEN TWELVE The Faculty JTIOWN toward the chapel the faculty step jjjy| In solemn and fitting array, Led by our President, glowing with pep, And anxious to usher the day. “Step lively now, Droke,” says J. T., “I entreat, Don’t you see William Smythe just behind? He is crazy to get to his dear chapel seat, He’ll knock you down if you don’t mind.” “I don’t care if he does knock me down,” answers he, I am sure I don ' t think I should mind; I could measure the floor then quite easily, And perhaps a new star I should find.” Says the Judge, “I don’t see Dr. Thomas at all man, Now where can that slow rascal be?” “I am not a tall man,” puns Thomas, “so none can See me—I’m behind H. Tovey. “Picked,” says the Judge, “you are trying to hide Those things that you have in that case; 1 know what they are—here—just drop them outside, No microbes allowed in this place.” “And you, too, Dr. Carroll, I’m sure I can tell, By some little airs that surround you, You are up to some mischief, I certainly smell Some H2 S—take it out now, confound you!” 14]

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THE CARDINAL NINETEEN TWELVE “Well, well now, wat iss the matther?” cries Marinoni, “My heaven, you’re all in a stew ! Such gr-grouchy people I jost never see— Wat on earth is the matther with you?” “There is nothing the matter with me,” Briscoe hums, “I sing Ich Liebe Dich everywhere.” “All right,” Futrall growls, “but so much standing numbs, I could sing Amote to a chair.” “Goodness me!” gasps Miss Galbraith, “This weakens my ’art So a scarcely can draw a good breath!” “For once I shan’t speak, for I’d say something tart,” Moans Mrs. Crockett, “I’m most crushed to death!” “Well, Fraulein,” puffs Lentz, “now this is hard to bear, Here, just lean on the wall for awhile, You are getting quite pale, and I do just declare You have lost your adorable smile. “Can’t you do something, Wilson, to help us get there— Build a bridge, cut an underground hole?” “Aw, come on!” yells Bezdek, “Make a dash for your chair, Buck the line, follow me, win the goal!” “You be quiet back there,” says the Judge, “follow me, Remember—a satisfied smile.” So they all amble in so harmoniously You would think they were saints for a while. M. V. V. 16]