University of Arkansas Fayetteville - Razorback Yearbook (Fayetteville, AR)

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Tales of the Thousand and Sixty-one Nights or The Arkansas Nights. (Translated from a fragment of a manuscript discovered by Prof. Butinski.) Exordium. In the name of the most worthy Sultan Henry S. Hartzog, the Compassionate, the Mer¬ ciful ; praise be to Henry, the Beneficent King, the Ruler of the University, who has been mer¬ ciful unto delinquents. May blessings and peace be upon him, unending and constant unto the Day of Judgment. To proceed: The lives of former generations are a lesson to posterity. That men may review the remarkable events which have happened to others, and be admonished, and may consider the history of people of preceding ages and of all that hath befallen them, and be restrained—this history of the Class of -1905 is ordained. The Vision oe Nojah Ben Omar. On the twentieth day of the moon, when, according to the custom of my associates, I at¬ tended the morning devotions, I ascended the high stairs to the Library, in order to pass the day in meditation among the wise and learned. While I was sitting there, one in the habit of a war¬ rior came to me and said: “If thou wouldst have good wisdom and right understanding, follow me.” He then led me up to the highest pinnacle of the tower, and said to me: “Cast thy eyes northward, and tell me what thou seest.” “I see,” said I, “a valley with a great stream flowing through it, over which is a mighty bridge on four broad arches.” “That valley,” said he, “is the Vale of College Life.” I looked more attentively, and saw crowds of people passing over it, and a black cloud hang¬ ing over each end of it. “Those four arches,” said he, “are the four years of college life.” As I looked more attentively I saw several of the passengers dropping through the bridge into the great stream that flowed underneath it and, upon closer examination, I saw that there were concealed pitfalls, which were very numerous at the middle and the end of each arch. Many in the midst of frivolity and jollity dropped through these pitfalls, which, my conductor told me, were called examinations. At length I said: ‘ ‘Show me the secrets that lie concealed be¬ yond the dark cloud at the farther end of the bridge.” I received no answer, and was turning 20

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Chemistry, German and French. This year things seemed brighter for us, for it was evident to all of us that the conflict was nearing an end. In the autumn of 1904 we once more assembled and followed the leadership of the Lord Protector Cromwell, the Math-killer. He led us victoriously through the campaign, and in June, 1905, each member of the band received formal written surrender from the Faculty. However, we are still discontented. The wise men tell us that the world is growing hap¬ pier—that we live longer than did our fathers, have fewer wars and discords, and higher hopes and aspirations—so say the wise men; but deep in our own hearts we know they are wrong; for have we not, each one of us, in that May of life, when the world was young, started out lightly and airily along the path that led over green meadows to the blue mountains on the distant hori¬ zon, beyond which lay the great world we were to conquer? And though others dropped behind, have we not gone on through morning brightness and noonday heat, with eyes always steadily forward, until the fresh grass began to be parched and withered, and the way grew hard and stony, and the blue mountains resolved into gray rocks and thorny cliffs? And when at last we reached the toilsome summits we found the glory that had lured us on was only the sunset glow that fades into darkness while we look and leaves us at the very goal to sink down, tired in body and sick at heart, to close our eyes and dream again, not of the fame and fortune that were to have been ours, but only of the old-time happiness that we have left so far behind. 19

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to address the warrior again, when I heard a mighty rushing of feet, and then I knew that the s econd period had commenced. The Prophecy oe Ahmed Bengeli. When Henry the Wise was Caliph of the University, an ancient Arabian philosopher, with a long white beard, came to me and said: “Follow me, and I will show you the future of the Class of 1905.” He led me to a great mountain, and we went into a cave. The walls of the cave were covered with Egyptian hieroglyphics, with cabalistic symbols, and with the figures of the stars in their signs. He made a fire, and performed several mystic ceremonies. Then I looked up, a nd saw Caleb Wadi Jones, a mighty magician, who made mighty love potions which could not be resisted. The scene changed, and Julut Masud Grubbs, the mighty Caliph, and Janada Ben Davis, his Grand Vizier, with Eben Haroun Kunz, his Grand Scribe, appeared. They were the rulers the mightv land of Arkansas. Again the scene changed, and I saw a palace of commerce with this inscription above the entrance: “Jalil Chapman, Carlzaman Wasili Cromwell and Ben McGehee. Dealers in Dry Goods, Groceries, and Feed. Highest price paid for ’Possum Hides.” Then I saw a magnificent room, where four princesses were reclining on divans. They were badoura Ambercrombie, Gulmore Jordan, Badroulbadoura Williams, and Maruta Cole. Once more the scene changed, and I saw the mighty caravan of the Great Eastern Transpor¬ tation Company of Dhu’lkifi Bedr Morrow and Hamed Behran Van Valkenburgh. Then I saw Eblis Lokman Carter, the mighty ruler of the United States, and Judi Ghlib Hudgins, his Grand Vizier, and men said they were elected on the Prohibition ticket. Near them were seated the mighty Senators Bekir Mulat Kitchens and Cassini Mohammed Reves and the ia ithful Representatives Bohira Oziar Jackson and Ali Seyyid Irby. Another scene showed me the mightv estates of the Caliphs of Agriculture, Abdallah Dhu 1 - barnein Whitehead and Fey sal Hain Pratt. The scene changed and I saw Leith Said Olney and Noureddin Pasha Pope, the mighty ma¬ gicians, who, by aid of their enchantment, were able to talk at a distance by means of wires. Then I saw Cadadad Wadi Webb and Ramadin Hassan Legate, the great physicians, who, by their enchantments, were able to heal all manner of diseases. Then the old man said: “I am weak and not able to show you more,” and I left without knowing the fate of some of the class. •J1