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Page 18 text:
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Irt UMVERSITY Of VRIZONA COUNTRY ClUB Membefship Card WILDCAT, WILBUR 000001 K a U A Coutfry Club member in good siandng and is entitled to the privileges of membership R rescribed 14 Satire
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Page 19 text:
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Day, What The Doctor Ordered? The sound of the Beatles singing Here Comes the Sun on the clock radio wakens me at 6:45 a.m., leaving me plenty of time for a hot shower, breakfast at El Pueblo and a quick re- view session over notes for my nuclear engineer- ing quiz. After arriving at class 10 minutes early in order to assure myself a front-row seat, I study more and greet the professor as he walks through the door at precisely 8:00 a.m. Upon acing the test, I ask the girl next to me out to lunch, and we decide to meet at the Union Club at noon. Soon the clock strikes 8:50, and I pro- ceed to my 9:00 a.m. chemistry discussion. Entering the classroom, I once again take a seat in the front-row and personally greet the professor as he walks through the lab door. As class starts he asks, Does anybody know exact- ly what dextrorotatory is? Being the first one to raise my hand, I reply, It is simply a term used to label a chiral mole- cule that rotates the plane of polarization of plane-polarized light to the right. My answer inspires the professor to excuse me from the rest of that day ' s class, but I gra- ciously refuse, not wanting to miss a single word he utters. As chemistry ends, I head over to the math building for my calculus class. When class starts, I am once again seated in the front-row and answering every question that the professor dares throw at me. However, T he Fundamental Theory of Calculus soon begins to bore me so I pull my copy of War and Peace out of my backpack and read it for the third time. Before I know it, the clock shows 10:50 and I head for the library to study before lunch. After studying for 45 minutes, I walk towards the Student Union and arrive at the Union Club exactly five minutes early. My date arrives pre- ... I study more and greet the professor as he walks through the door . . . cisely at noon, and we study for next month ' s midterm while we wait for our food. Lunch goes well. My date heads back to class while I go back to my dorm and read Adam Smith ' s Wealth of Nations for the fourth time. I am completely absorbed in the text until 6:00 p.m. when hunger pangs begin to set in. So, I hop in my 1973 VW Bug and drive to Lunt Avenue Marble Club and dine on lasagna and a glass of Blue Nun. After that hearty meal, I drive back to my room and do another hour of studying. Soon the clock reads 9:00 p.m. and I decide to go to sleep in order to be fresh the next morning. Suddenly the sound of workers drilling through the sidewalk awakens me and I realize this day was only a dream. Thank God. 1) The prescribed day includes an allotted time for the opposite sex. 2) Even with the dullest of lectures, much worthwhile information is offered and finds its place on the perfect student ' s note paper. 3) A casual experiment adds to the well-rounded day. Satire 15
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