United States Naval Academy - Lucky Bag Yearbook (Annapolis, MD)

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lxalhfus playing on the new piano, explained .lfather Timeg then seeing Neptune's Pale' ll2l2'5Z'2Wl MCC- lm 0XCl1llll1Cfl. VVhy. whatfs the matter? Are vou ill? Shall l get you something? l'miaw:fully sorry. I wouldn't have inilieted it on you if I had known he was going to he playing. it Y I n u ' A H No, l m all l'lg'lll.Q hut you nught have known he d he playing. 1ile's always hlayingf' grumlmled Neptune. - l m willing to try for the sake of science, said Neptune. Let's see vom' maehme work,-at any cost. lfather 'lfime made a few adjustments, then replaeed thc Plllfl- 'l'here was another sputtering: then about a dozen Very well's,H sepa- l ' VV odward's tu1'n. Man overhoardf, he 1'e- peated, to make sm'e that his mind was on the right taek and that his hraee was lll70Sll1Q'- 'l'he coxswain and erew got into the hoat. Clfull stop three min- rated hy soothing l2r's, anc it was o utes longzj Cast adrift the gripes: lower away and g'et her to the gang'way. Junior ollieer ol' the deck appears at the gangway. wearing white g'loves and side arms: sees that the 1nen have on their shoes and neekerehiefsg gets in the hoat, and pulls away. When he gets where he is going he ' manipulates the rudder ' so as to ln'ing her alongside. llut the man, 1nte1'poses a sphinx-like voiee. what has heeome ol' him? Uh, the man, gasped Woodwa1'd. l tioug so unusual the instrument eouldn't reproduce it. 'lfhe next thing that came over it Was. XfVhy do they never put a masthead lig'ht mo1'e than forty feet ahove the hull? .lividently whoever was asked didn't know, for the same voiee soon ex- l wht-- but his thought was plained: Why, it might he mistaken for a sta1'. Yes, said rlllllltf in sheer disgust, a st1'eet lamp might he mistaken for a ,full moon, too: hut only Q11 a eluh night. Let's tu1'n it on the Ordnance Depart-- ment. l le again adjusted some relleetors, and had seareely tinished when a clear- Cut voiee sounded through the transmitter, XVhat's the weight of a l1und1'ed- pound shell F Six inehes, sir, was the answer. What do the ammunition passers supply themselves with at tl1e battery? There was a slight hesitaney, hut the answer finally came, Pieces of gun- Cflttflll. to wipe otlf the cases with. What is the solution used in reeoil cylinders? was the 11ext question. Nitr 1-ffl 'eerinef' was the prompt 1'eply. 1 f-5 Suppose, that in loading an eight-ineh gun, the charge bag has got damp at , the hase, so the p1'i1ne1' fails to ignite the ' 'Jw Z' ehargeg what would you do? 1' Take it down to the galley and dry it, iore hroke the switch. e, he said, tu1'ning the relleetor on Love Lane. Yes. l' thought V! he'd he there, he added, as hor1'ihly nasty was snatched from some ill-fate C versation. 'l'hat's our amalgamated engineer, came hack, as Time onee n lNe'1l try one more plae d man's eon- NW the man with fortunes as variegated as his Wk- Hgure. l,et's hear what he's sayingf' He Nts-4, W I '59 33

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had lost his book a week before, as usualj, when there was a crash, a shrill whistle. -and silence. 'lt took him only a moment to realize that his life was at stake. A single bound broug'l1t him to the rail ri Za pajamas. An- other, and with his sword and trousers trailing after him pennantwise, he landed on the dock, llurried, embar-- rassed, but safe. .lglis was a wild experience. An incom- ing steamer had got too close and carried away a boat davit. I thought it was funny T hadn't seen his shade over here, said Time. I usnally see them as they pass out- ward bound. One came by the other day behaving like a maniac, do you know who it was? 3' Uh, yes, that was the fellow that started to carry tl1e old piano down the front steps one day just at dinner formation. He was getting on first rate until he heard liailey's musical voice calling the roll of the first company, and thought it was somebody playing on the piano. He got rattledland stumped his toe, and, as the sharp corner of the piano set- d. tled impressively down on the middle ol his 2,,ga':Qq7c'Z?f back, his soul was wafted to the clouds, and, X X i as it went out, it sang: 'There's music. thereis music, there's music everywhere' L 4 XVhen he passed here, his tune had f' 1' Xxx 4:7 0 at ,17 7' xii ff I ,1 5 changed, said Time. .llc was singing idk. , fi! 5, ' A Hot Time in the Old Town 'lfo-night.' .rcfjf g 'l Wtwll, that sounds more comfortable I f, Y than the ' Scorcherf That's what they play T after every funeral at the Academy. lf they ever bury me over on 'Plantation Point, I'm going to request that they play something else. Fd like more something from Mendelssohn played on the mega- phone. .l would, too, unless Courtney played it. il sometimes listen to the concerts the fellows give after supper at Upper Quartersf, said ',l.'ime. How? I see why you donit understand. You people over on the earth haven't got on to our system of telegraphy without wires yet. You are slower than the oscillations you are trying to use. You'll never succeed with anything less than two billions per second. just let me show you how mine works. Witli that, lfather Time stepped across the room to a switchboard and put in a plug. There was a crash, a sputtering, then a mingling of sharps and ilats in some- thing not unlike a cannibal war dance. On it went. The bass was miserably faster than the treble, half the notes were flat. The only ones that were right were elided. Neptune stood it as long as he could, then clapped his hands over his ears, and lustily shouted, Stop it, stop it! If you love my life, put a reducing valve 011 it! Do something. Uh-! U At last lfather Time heard his voice above the din, and pulled out the plug. Silence, blissful silence, followed. Never did silence seem as good before. That's 32

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tlitlu't hzivt- to wait louq. As soou :is Whitt- got his huutl t-oiul'oi'tzihly iu his hcclcct ht- hcgzm ztgztiii. Yaris, it's ht-:istly stupitl. l prtuuist-tl uiyst-ll tht- t-xt'ru-- cizltiug' pltvztsurt- ol at littlt- iuforuizil tlut-lciutg, tlout-ht-i' ltuow: hut, tlt-zu' 1110, lllt' lvl- lows tlitlu't fztwutfy it, tlout-ht-1' ltuow, so l hzitl to givt- it up. lfirst mit-, sziitl Nt-ptuut-, who, hy this tiuit- wats :is hzitlly hort-tl as tht- girl ou tht: l.Z,lllC. That ht-:tts tht- lirooltlyu trollt-y t-urs. lly tht- WHY, how tlitl you if-'l VW l1CI'L'. Sflifl iliillw- X! Uh, l t-zuut- ou that uiultiplt-x-ztxlc f 'MN fffxix' NM- Z--- t'Zll'l'lZlg'C tlt-st'i'iht-tl iu flortlt-vt'. WhCl'C ll1C a-rw:-J,,3,, J t-:u'i'iztgt- got-s lourtt-t-u tiuit-s :Ls lust :is Y, tht- horst-. 'l'ht- horst- will ht- ziloug' iu f-1..:Q1 , :thout two wt-t-les. l wish you'tl lt-t-tl him f ' Ml gpg? ' 7- QM :mtl st:u't huu ou zigzuu.. l t-:uut- :it-ross --i 4-L-ti: -nz ,lg ovt-i' tht- XN-lit-:ttstout- hritlgt-, tlowu tht- 'J ff path ol lt-:ist l'L'SI14lItll4'C1 thvu. wllvtl lfl got t-ouiplctt-ly lost, l just tlitl :is llzuiit-ll ztlwziys tlot-s wht-u ht- gt-ts hung' up iu his rt-zisouiug,-just lnitl tht- tlist-rt-pzuit-y ou tht- luuiiuilt-rous t-tht-t', :tutl tht- lirst thing' nought th'it hritlgt- hntl ht-t-u t-outlt-uiuctl, :ls uuzthlt- to rtsist .' 'triug foi't'ts sztitl 'l'iuit-. l . 'l'ht- thiusgs wt- lt-zu' iuost, hoth iu l lcut-w l was htrrt-. l tl . - sht-. f ' ' lll'l1lg,2.'CS zuitl lift-. zu't- ht-utliug uio- ' N7 uit-nts, sztitl Nt-ptuut-, with zi sigh, :ts szitl rt-uit-uilu':iut-t-s Ilozitt-tl ht-foi't- his H uiiutl. lt ht-ltl uit- this tiiut- :ill 2 right, though. 'l'ht-i't- was ll uiouit-ut's silt-utft-, tht-u l'i2tlllL'l' 'I'iuit- zislit-tl: I You'll stziy to tliuucr with uit-, wou't you? X UW l'Vl1:Lt nrt- you goiugg to ll1lVK'? zislct-tl Nt-ptuut-. X Uh, wt-'ll s1:u't oll' with soiut- mit-i'ol:u':ttls ou tozist. 'l'hcu somt- i't:sistzuit-t- t-oils, souit- shoritls, souit- :uupt-rt-s, souit- t-rgs, :iutl :L lt-w other littlt- tlishcs, zuitl wt-'ll t-utl up with somt- rt-gulzttiou lt-i'i'ot-y:uiitlt- uiiut-t- pit-s. We might have souit- clt-t-tric plztuts, with t-urrcuts, if you liltt- tht-ui. 'I'ht-y grow prt-tty wt-ll tlowu htert- iu tht- uiztgut-tit- fit-ltl. Wt- gt-t tht-in hy tht- shot-lt. , I tlou't ht-lit-vc l'tl liltt- muy, snitl Nt-ir .. tuut-. Suppost- st-ll-iutlut'tiou shoultl st-t iu I ' ti' l'tl ttittu thtui? l'tl ht- wzilltiug rouutl t ou .1 tuivt ol suit-s, :tutl pt-oplc woultl . x its t Illl t-ii out- lt-g' iuight ht- out L ' -litlll ,o tt L Jtt t t IIIVS' '. 'Q '. A :Ly :uiy . . I alt- -' - - , T N ht-i'- ' - - - ' 7 ' s'tyl y'.' l' Ili. 'I'h 23 ol phzts- with tht- othti mtl l tlout xy 1 4 iuztl'-: Sl'll1t'l'0l. J tll I t mt sl '- way. llt-rt-'s my t-hztut-Q uowf' As ht- spoltt- i , N tht-rc was rt clzuigiug' ol ht-lls outsitlt-, :mtl It ' Q trollt-y t-zu' ruiuiiug' ou two liypt-rholzis, using tht- zisytuptott- for ll trollt-y wirt- vzuut- Clost- ' iu :mtl stoppt-tl. 34