United College Collegiate - Tric Tics Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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indulge in mental visions of the wondrous gastronomic feats of our mighty stalwarts. Yet, whether because the lawyers similarly fell before the cravings of long-trained appetite, or because this dietetic system is all so much nonsense, the blue and white trampled the white and green beneath their feet, and the United College rang for the first time with the shouts of United victory. Contortionist Ben, and Tom with the Seven-League Boots; Oscar’s Dutch trot, Geordie’s head-on collisions, and Brock’s smooth glide and deadly accuracy; Percy’s merciless and unerring aim, and Bill who never missed while the girls applauded—each of these might provide the subject for a volume —but space fails. Brock’s hockey septette—though not champions—-kept disgrace at a safe distance, and Percy and Brock also added some further dis¬ tinction to the ’14 class by holding down places on the Winnipeg Hockey ' V ' lt wq lc Team. Repeated defeats in the inter-class series have, however, kept them very mod- ;st. The ’14 class is also proud of “Jerry’s” superior performances on the gym. floor, which helped considerably in assuring the safe arrival in our camp of the Inter-Colle¬ giate Basketball Trophy. When the time came for our genial class president to show his taste in providing social enjoyment, we found it scarcely ex¬ ceeded by his corporeal magnitude. The Amphitheatre was honored by the ’14 grace, wit and wisdom. Skating, dinner and dancing formed a splendidly varied trio. The unique distinction of our girls as skaters is recognized by everyone who can get there , early enough to get a band; the nectar and ambrosia of the gods have no attraction compared with the delights of a ’14 dinner, seasoned by the class wits; but, in any at¬ tempt to describe the last, metaphor and description fail—the climax is beyond our power. J. B. ’s was the only speech of the evening, a feature without which any ’14 party would be a complete failure. Jim had us, in a trice, wandering the wilds of Central America, and then again in a moment on the barren slopes of the Western States. Yes, Jim wandered farther than usual—and, besides, what a subject! The ’14 ladies! So few in numbers, but of such excellent quality! Who so unimpressionable as to spend four years of his youth ■under the influence of the sympathetic smiles and kindly words of our ’14 girls, and not feel the deepest affection (perhaps it is a strong word) for all—in some cases one particularly? Well, perhaps J. B. was endeavoring to illustrate the universality of the feminine charm and influence even upon such untamed specimens as our wandering Jim. In the early hours of the morning when 1 ‘ Auld Lang Syne ’ ’ was over, all felt so well satisfied with everything in general, and chaperones in particular, that even a two or three mile walk in the freezing morn¬ ing air could not chill their enthusiasm. Lest our wonderful doings in debating be forgotten, we modestly state that we did win one debate, when Thorsteinsson and Meckling proved to the Matrics. that Universal Disarmament is unfeasible. But the Seniors never win the championship, and far be it from us to break with such a worthy precedent. Then most of us firmly believe that the man who talks most is not always the wisest, as he who eats the most is not the fattest—witness G. S. B. • In this attempt at class history we must not omit that peculiar and unnatural mushroom growth of attraction between many of our dignified (!!) Seniors and some aspiring ’15 belles and Freshettes. This seems to have been a direct result in most cases of the Annual Dinner, which was in f all other re¬ spects a great dent, with noble memory is skil¬ fully commemorated elsewhere. The mandate to have our graduating pictures taken comes at last like the knell to undergraduate days. Dreams of the future fill our minds—its possibilities and opportunities—and a little sadness creeps in that the good old ’14 bunch will soon be scattered, to face the prob¬ lems of life in new spheres. For precious hours wasted and for meagre accomplishment we may have some regrets, yet in future years we shall always have the most pleasant reminiscences of the year ’14. J. A. S. G. Page 61

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Strange, uncertain rumors of the approaching celebration of the nuptial rites of Wesley and ’Toba reached the ears of Wesleyites and Manitobans scattered over the western plains during the summer of ’13. To the old students the former order of things had become endeared, particularly to members of the ’14 class. As these rumors resolved themselves into a semblance of truth, these grown-up children, with sad¬ dened hearts, bemoaned their unhappy fate. The consummation of these designs being effected, however, by the guardians of the unequally “yoked” pair, ere long they were called upon to celebrate the opening of United College. Meek and submissive, they obediently assembled, and swearing to uphold the new order of things, proceeded to lay their plans accordingly. For many long and tedious days, committee after committee framed constitution after constitution, until out of this confusion, order began to emerge. George Lee was made Stick, and the lately united body being divided into two, the invincible Argonauts under Wessels went out to do battle for that famous track cup against the dauntless Olym¬ pics, captained by Tom Fleming. “The Argo¬ nauts won the Golden Fleece,” though the narrow margin of half a point decided the victory. Of the ’14’s, Fleming with 7 points, Henry with 5%, Miller 4, Allan 3 4, Hanson 3, and Lee 3, came in for a large share of the glory, followed by a few lesser ’14 lights. Then, since the tumult and shouting of for¬ mer victorious days were lacking, Parliament decreed that this internecine strife should cease and that one indeed they should sta id in all their future struggles. Shortly came that mysterious day for the Freshies, when the savage Sophomores laid violent and undignified hands upon them, and with the experienced assistance of suitably garbed Seniors and Juniors, gave them their never-to-be-forgotten initiatory degree. When, after enduring with grim fortitude many trying ordeals, the spectral face of the Freshie emerged from the flour barrel, amid jubilant Senior shouts, no humbler specimen could be found. Many of those who most ably assisted them through their horrors had to pass through many searching examinations before their “brilliant ideas” were again per¬ mitted to enliven our cheerful College halls. Then, conspicuous among the many great features of the year, came the brilliant Hallowe ’en procession, which demonstrated to the city that those College “hoodlums” possess considerable originality and youthful exuberance. The • ' ‘ mighty men of valor ’ ’ among our num¬ bers were brought to the front before the procession ended. Herculean doings in the neighborhood of Brock and Kris sent a few of our crafty opponents home, sadder and wiser men. Spite of our efforts, the sweet and gentle bride, Geraldine, was rudely torn from the clinging embrace of her husband, and borne in haste from the scene of conflict. Touched by her piteous appeals, however, her abductors desisted from their avowed purpose of marrying her to a certain ‘ ‘ cullud gentleman. ’ ’ The versatile ’14 genius was later displayed upon the platform, when their turn came to entertain the crowd assembled in the Y.M.C.A. Ringing applause greeted the easy victory of McNeil’s Sizzling Slim over Austmann’s Peel Heel Pete; but this giant’s exultation was cut short by the “Dawk Hoss,” whose science and skill dazed the be¬ holders. After celebrations and investigations had been banqueted upon to the entire satisfaction of all, the Xmas, exams, were enjoyed (?) as a sort of brief interlude. As they settled to the hard grind, all were convinced that College would be a fairly decent place, minus study and regularly-recurring exams. This tribulation soon passed, and next came dreams of home—- mince pies and Xmas, cakes—one continual round of delight, limited only by the internal capacity—a dream in which “stack o’ dry” would sound like a voice from Hades. With increased avoirdupois, back they came—a few with A’s to dangle at their belts; several with modest B’s, and many with 2’s and 3’s; some who allowed their heels to be caught by the wave of destruction, just for variety’s sake, and to provide some little work among our illustrious bunch for the ice-man. During the Xmas, festivities there was one man whose face bore an unwonted gloom. Were we not to meet the star lawyer’s football eleven on January 10th, to decide the shield’s resting-place for the famous year ’14? Well might Percy spend sleepless (?) nights and —Ypany tr in ordGflls- Page 60

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