United College Collegiate - Tric Tics Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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Now the Lords of Wesley sent a messenger unto the Lords of ’Toba, saying: “Lo, are we not brethren? Why should there be war or enmity between us? Are not our kings of one name and of one mind? Come, therefore, let us build a great wide throne, and let Andrew, King of ’Toba, sit down beside Andrew, King of Wesley, and let them rule the people as one Andrew and as one King! ” So it came to pass that the children of ’Toba and the children of Wesley joined themselves into one people, and dwelt together in the Land of Unity and Concord. But in that same year the Lords of the Land of Learning made a great decree and said: “There shall be no more hazing, and when the Freshmen come to dwell among us no man shall lay hands upon them, neither heap upon them personal indigni¬ ties, nor treat them with physical violence. ’ ’ Then Andrew, King of Wesley, and Andrew, King of ’Toba, which twain are one, seated upon the great wide throne, answered and said: ' “Let all the chil¬ dren or the Land of Unity and Concord give heed and obey this law.” But notwithstanding this decree, the Sophomores looked forth and •XH6 lohj s cr rue aa, ckeaT x cci e£ beheld the Freshmen, and lo! they were exceeding fresh. Then said the Sophomores one to another: “Are they not green? Come, let us initiate them. Then shall they walk in wisdom and be indeed men of our tribe and nation.” So the Sophomores bade all the Freshmen gather themselves to¬ gether and come, that they might be initiated. Then did the Freshmen take unto themselves the fruit of the faithful hen, even eggs from the merchant. And they said unto the merchant: “Are these eggs fresh, even as we are?” But the mer¬ chant answered and said unto the Freshmen: “By no means fresh; yet are they green indeed, even as ye are.’ And the Freshmen took the eggs, and they marched into the Land of Unity and Concord. Now when these things were told unto Andrew, the King, he hasted him unto Geordie, the Stick, the leader of the people. And the King did straitly charge the Stick and said unto him: ‘ ‘ Thou shalt see to it that the Freshmen suffer no hurt, neither any personal indignities, nor any physical violence.” So Geordie, the Stick, went forth and spake unto all the Fresh¬ men, a mighty host, and said: “If any man of you desireth not to be initiated, let him flee hence to his home. But whosoever desireth to be initiated, let him cast his weapons out of his hand, and freely let him enter the Hall of ’Toba.” Then the Freshmen answered with one accord and said: “We desire it. ’ ’ And they took the eggs which they had brought, and hurled them into the midst of the barbarians who had gathered themselves together to behold their defeat. And the barbarians departed in won¬ drous haste. Now when the Freshmen had come into the Hall of ’Toba, the Page 31

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Sophomores fell upon them, and did initiate them mightily. For they led them forth one by one and east them into a pit. Then did the Freshmen fight valiantly, but blindness came upon them, and they smote one another. And the Sophomores brought the Freshmen into the Chamber of Death, and the pains of Sheol gat hold of them, and great fear fell upon them. But the Sopho¬ mores mocked them, say¬ ing: “The worst is yet to come.” And the rest of the things that the Sophomores did unto the Freshmen, are they not written in the Books of the Investigators! For all these things and more also were told unto Andrew ,the King. So. the King gathered certain of the chief priests and wise men, and they took the chiefs of the Sophomores and some that were with them, and said unto them: “Ye have broken the law and the decree.” But the Sophomores answered and said unto the judges: “What is the meaning of the decree? Tell us what is physical violence, and expound unto us personal indignity.” Then answered one of the chief priests: “Ye are altogether steeped in sin, and do ye teach us?” and they cast them out. And there arose a mighty clamor in the Land of Unity and Concord, and the Sophomores and many with them lifted up their voices and CAST THEM INTO a PIT made a tumultuous lamentation for their chiefs w T ho were taken from them and banished. Then Geordie the Stick gathered together the Elders of the people, and they did investigate the business, yea, they sifted the matter with great labor and diligence, that they might know the truth and that justice should be done in the eyes of all the people. Then said the Elders unto the chief priests: “Ye have done a great wrong. Wherefore hearken, and we will tell you the truth con¬ cerning the matter.” So the Elders of the people told the rulers and the chief priests all the things which they had found out concerning the initiation. And not many days after the Eulers and the Chief Priests said unto the Elders of the People: “Was not the decree broken?” And the Elders answered: “Yea, verily, in spots.” And the Eulers answered and said: “Ye shall keep the people from physical violence, and from personal indignities shall ye de¬ liver them, from this day forth and for evermore. ’ ’ And the Elders answered 1 and said: “We will.” So they wrote these things in the Book of their Laws and estab¬ lished it as the laws of the Modes and Persians. Then did the Eulers of tbe Land bring back the exiles and Andrew the King said unto them: “Behold, ye are now free men.” And the people rejoiced, and there was peace in the Land of Unity and Con- GEO RDIE THE . 5 T I C K cord. A. W. K.