Union High School - Utopian Yearbook (New Castle, PA)

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'People Are l-unnyu ner of his age. Then, too, he's had plenty of practice running around after Mr. Hofmeister. We always wondered why Marie Ruby was so quiet at school. Then we found out she sings those endless verses I wish I were dead or cowboy songs with Woody Woodell's Gang. No wonder she's out of breath. I wonder where Adeline Petrella gets those flashy sweaters. My uncle Louie used to get Hog feed in sacks that had the same design and colors on them as her sweaters do. I really pity Irene D.'s boy friend. He says that football wasn't anything compared to the way she beats him up when she's necking with him. She must woo him Dogpatch style. I wonder what Ray Langford would do without his hair curlers. I really don't know, but I imagine he'd still love himself as much as ever. Ed Levensky's only going to get half a di- ploma this year. No, it's not because he just comes to school half the time. It's because he's only about half there. If you're wondering why there's a paint shortage, just look at Clara Minetti's and Sis McCreary's fingernailsg they use it all. Rhoda Ezzell should go to Hollywood and be in the movies. No, not as a sub for Betty Grable, for Vera Vague. I saw Audrey Hammers and Clara Zombek in a hardware store the other day. They were buying bear traps. They claim it's a sure way to get a man and hold him. I just heard Margy Rohrer is going to open a restaurant. Well, from the looks of things, this is one case where the owner won't eat up all the profits. Harold Straitwell just left for Washington to have them pass a law that all two-wheeled bikes must have three wheels so that they will stand up no matter who's riding them. and he wants all the roads to be made of soft rocks. We finally found out how Ed Proudfoot got his dI'lV61',S license. He scared the cop so badly that he offered Ed a license if he would let him out of the car. If Percy Mauney ever gets to become a doctor, we won't have to worry about the surplus population any more. He'll take care of that. They tell me Tom Pagley and Chuck Shoaff have both accomplished their life's ambition. Thatis right!! You guessed it! ll They finally passed their physical for the Girl Scouts. They had a fire down at Maxine Holler- man's the other day. Max was looking out the window when a sailor went past and she rolled her eyes so fast that the frictiofrset fire to the curtains. I know you've all read these advertise- ments about Before and After, Well, Bill Thomas and Walter Bistyga both got jobs working for Vitalis hair oil. Fuzzy Bill is before and Goose Grease Walt is after. I feel sorry for Thelma Crable. I know just how she feels. Her pet termite has just deserted her head. It said it was tired of a diet of punk-soft wood. There is only one person down at Union that I think is really perfect. He's the nic- est,funniest, handsomest, most studious per- son I know. Of course you all know the character I'm referring to-Chuck Cook. Well, my Uncle Louie just told me that that last one smelled as bad as the cabbage. eggs, tomatoes, and various other things that my dear classmates are heaving at me, so I shall now take my departure hoping to have given you all a clearer picture of yourselves. Chuck Cook

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Upeople Are Furmyn Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see ourselves as others see us - as Bobby Burns remarked on seeing a louse on the lady's bonnet in front of him in church. So now, my erstwhile friends, you all have the privilege of seeing yourselves as others see you: And if you have tears, pre- pare to shed them now, because-at last I get my revenge! Now, after hearing people criticize my jokes for three long years, I fin- ally get my revenge. Gad! what morons they were to label my masterpieces of wit- ticism as corn , but now I have my chance to retaliate. When Dick Wallace walks down the hall, he has more of a swing than Betty Grable. The way Frank Kuhn drives a car is a crimeg he should be in a tank! Leo Callahan really can't drive a car either, he just aims it and hopes for the best. Jim Romeo's our star basketball player, if you don't believe me, just ask him. That Rosemary LaRosa puts on more airs than an electric fan. The only dif- ference is the air from the fan is fresh. If you ever wonder why they call Delores Broschart, Boots , why just take a look at her feet. If Mildred Golonka doesn't stop studying so hard, she'll lose all her hair and weight. Donna Bartlett claims to have all the boys on her line. Is that why she always comes stag to the dances? Huh! Bobbie Letzkus really has some hairg it's blonde with black roots. The only time you can see Stella Krupa's face is when she's asleep. The rest of the time, when she's awake, her mouth is going and you can't see her face for the cavity. Since Bud Mills went to the army, Barbara Korby's been able to get to bed early enough, so she can get up early enough to put on some make-up and doesn't look so beat-up after she gets-up . Looks are deceiving, sweet looking. Lorene Brown has more boys' scalps on her line than Sitting Bull. No wonder Don Bees and Vincent Patton see so many movies. They can still get in on children's prices and ride the busses for half-fare. Sis Hartzell never eats her lunch as she fears she may get fat ! Go ahead and eat it, Sis. It can't make you much fatter than you are now. Ed Sniezek claims he plays his sax by ear. We believe him, but he must be deaf. The way Wimp Annerella chews gum reminds me of my pet cow, Bossie . Only Bossie looks more intelligent while doing it Wanda Hoover is in a terrible shape, and I think it's time she knew it. Ever since Shirley Hassig heard the slogan of the Canadian Northwest Mounted Police, she's been trying to join them. They al- ways get their man. Sam Badilla will graduate in three years. Why? Because he sits up half the night polishing apples for his teachers. Irene and Shirley Wolf-brande sure were named right, they're always on the prowl. John Pagach says he is almost perfect. We all agree with him, he's almost a perfect moron. Nancy Spellick claims she doesn't have a temper but when she gets mad she just ties Mr. Hofmeister's preserved snakes into a couple more knots. Stella Plonka never found out that Friday was a school day, too, until May 25th. Of course, it was too late then to make up those 36 Fridays! Richard Buchanan should go far in life- no-not as a professor fhis highest ambi- tion! but as the most famous marathon run-

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uThefVlarch of Time' 1942-43-Freshmen-at last! Yes, as we trouped into the auditor- ium and took our places in the seats along with the upperclassmen, we felt for the first time the importance of being big freshmen. We now belonged to the group called upperclassmen who chose officers and held parties and did scores of other important things. With these thoughts uppermost in our minds, we anxiously awaited our first business meeting. The long awaited day finally arrived and under the capable supervision of Miss Rentz, Miss Albert, and Mr. Cowher, we enthusiastically chose Ray Langford as our president, Lorene Brown as vice pres- ident, Stella Plonka as secretary, and Joe Park as treasurer. During this time we built our treas- ury which has remained strong through four long years. But now the time had come for us to look ahead-look ahead to the greater task of being Sophomores. 1943-44-Our Sophomore year was a great success. By this time we had all become well acquaint- ed, and choosing our leaders was an easier task. Advising us at our business meetings were Miss McKee, Mr. Thompson, and Mr. Hofmeister. During this election Joe Park was chosen presidentg Ray Langford, vice president, Delores Hartzell, secretary, and Tom Mayberry, treasurer. This year our class was buzzing with activity and presented the first Sophomore play ever to be pro- duced at Union High. The title was A Bargain is a Bargain and the cast, under the able direc- tion of Miss Paden, provided a large sum for our already well started treasury. But this wasn't all -we also chose our graduation rings which we thought were the neatest ever made, as each class thinks. Green and white proved to be ideal as the class colors, and the gardenia met with everyone's approval as the class flower. The payment of dues swelled our treasury until hopes for many ac- tivities in our Junior year were bright. 1944-45-While our Sophomore year was filled with many memorable events, our Junior year was even more active. Since our class had by this time become much smaller, we needed only two homerooms. Our directors, Miss Wadlinger and Miss McCommon, set the date for the first business meeting of the year at which we elected Elmer Bigley as president, Lorene Brown as vice president, Delores Hartzell as secretary, and Stella Plonka as treasurer. Faced with the problem of raising money, the class decided to sell magazines and our success was so great that we celebrated by having a Christmas party. Finally the main event of the year arrived-the Junior- Senior Prom, the farewell dance dedicated to the departing seniors. This was the final and crowning event of a successful Junior year. 1945-46-The long looked for year was finally here. We entered our first semester with the enthusiasm characteristic of our small class. At our first business meeting we appointed our officers for the last time. Dick Wallace received the most votes for president, Charles Cook, for Vice president, Maxi-ne Hollerman, secretaryg and Lorene Brown, treasurer. After these import- ant decisions were reached, we immediately set out to raise money for the project of financing the yearbook. With all members of the class participating in the sale of Christmas cards, our finan- cial goal was at last within reach. The treasury increased as each member paid his dues, and soon the Junior-Senior play, Accidents Will Happen, added to our capital. After this big issue was out of the way, plans were made for taking our graduation pictures, which were taken at Seavy's, and proved to be very nice. Then announcements were chosen and name cards ordered. By this time, we fully realized the importance of being Seniors, as we chose our dinks, crammed for those final finals, and were measured for our caps and gowns. And now the final step, the last glimpse of high school-commencement. And we'll leave our Alma Mater with many fine memories-thankful for the considerate cooperation of the faculty and student body that has made it truly a pleasure to have been a student of Union High. . Margery Rohrer