Union High School - Bobcat Yearbook (Union, OR)

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A beautiful, night club scene now comes into sight. The Stork Club has a famous crooner, Billy Davis. It has been packed to overflowing since this celebrated singer has warbled his love songs to the nation. Supporting this great swoom-crooner, is that great name band, “Phyllis Godsey and All Her Little Godseys.” Phil is known for her fine execution on her original xylosoucastaclarinet. The scene shifts to the Morocco Hotel, where eating is a pleasure. Ah-h yes! The chef, Donarae Smith, is preparing one of her famous delicacies, boa-con-stricter souffle, for her long-ago friends. There are Barbara Roberts and Norvin Coles, the famous dancing team known to millions as “The Twinkle Twins”. We now see Miss Donna Warren entering the Winter-Lavoisier Corseteer Shop. Mr. Fred Winters is the proprietor of this exclusive shop. Due to the shape of things Miss Warren has decided she needs a fitting. Mr. Winter’s Assistant, Norma Lee Curteman, is sizing up dimensions for Miss Warren. Norma Lee has a very accurate eye for Jirop-erly fitting one, and tells Donna all the latest gossip during the fitting. “Carla Eddy, a mathematical genius, is trying to perfect a formula for a snapless garter.” “Waldo Zaugg, the once so brilliant man, who lost his mind over a broken heart, is now a complete failure. He spends his time visiting his charming psychiatrist, Eleanor Beck, who hopes to relieve his mind of his troubles.” “Two great Construction Supervisors, Virginia Savage and Berdine Dodds, have pooled their talents and have undertaken an enormous task. They are contracted to construct a huge dam on the Amazon River.” John turns his radar set back to his hometown. He sees Roy Rinehart opening his exclusive Hat Shop. Roy inherited the ability to design hats from his great-great aunt, Louella Parsons. Women “Swarm” to his shop--just to get his ideas on hats! To give this great television center more fame, Union has among its citizens the daring, most sensational, most tantalizing flag pole climber in the world! Virginia Flagpole Hall has broken record upon record with her courageous climbs. We predict she will break still more records. As Nrxpzutt arrives at his castle on the planet, Xylotyposimlicitarian, an explosion of the radar set occurs. John’s mind has been set at ease concerning his boyhood days of Earth and once again he resumes his normal life on Xylotyposimplicitarian as chief advisor for the creation of headless, soulless creatures to work as robots for Oriel Lay.

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$6 44 'P'tofiAectt Time: THE FUTURE Place: Planet, Xylotyposimplicitarian, where people believe in the simplicity of life. Nrxpzytt, in the form of John Wulf, is cruising along, at a snail’s pace of 400 miles an hour, in an atom propelled caroplane, which was invented by Oriel Lay. Oriel now resides on the planet Saturn where the mass production of caroplanes is now in progress. John turns on his radar set only to discover the sparsely populated Earth in the vision plate. As thoughts of Union, Oregon, loom from the past, he notices that Union totally eclipses the whole of Oregon. The first scene that comes into sight is Ross Paxton, one of John’s schoolmates, who is gathering his flock of sheep into the folds. Ross has become an ardent painter of his flock. People “flock” from miles around to see these extraordinary masterpieces. The Factory For The Manufacture of Milk of Bovine From The Green Grass of Oregon, near the world wide television center of Union, is now operated by co-owners, Carol Timpy and Beverly Powell. This milk is so “fully packed” with the newly discovered vitamin “x” which aids in the growth of shapely babies, so widely known over the entire Earth, that the discoverer, Carol Timpy, will be commemorated among the greatest vitamin discoverers in history. Paul Bunyan’s logging camp now comes into vision. Ah, yes, there is Sidney Huffman who has just been added to the crew. Since he has been employed, the output of lumber has doubled. The radar set now flashes to a carnival scene. Oh, No--oh, but it is--Lyman Baker. He is the greatest barker” of all times, and is gathering the crowd in front of the tent which is occupied by his wife, the Sensational Bubble Dancer, Jo Wilde. Nrxpzytt can’t resist the temptation, so he turns the scene to the interior of the tent. Wrapped in a turban, Hindu style, sits Doris Hixson, practicing her oboe for the next performance of “Bubbles Jo Wilde. The scene now shifts to an air of subdued grace. The Mortician, Jack Bradbury, is now slowly going out of business, and worries about where his next body is coming from. Clatter! Wa-a-a! Ah.Shut up! Mrs. Cleo Underwood Prbjlmktz is trying desperately to keep her small family of fourteen under control. Of course it is a very simple task, since Mrs. Prbjlmktz was such an angelic cherub when she was small. Wythel Delaney is now courting Merle Burnson in great style. In this day and age, the girls present the boys with small tokens of affection. To show her affection, Wythel is seen entering an exclusive Florist’s Shop, owned by the great plant wizard, Pauline Smith. She places a small order (one “measly” truck load) of Stinkdandeweedlions, to send to her loved one. The world reknown Pauline Smith, floriculturist, is best-known for her creation of a plant which expresses its affections by peculiar motions! A great discovery! Mr. Scott Morrison, the distinguished representative of the Eleuthera Island, is now residing in his Washington D. C. hotel suite. He has recently returned from his island home with a boatload of Bahama Island handmaids. As John sees him now, Scott is in the height of luxury. Several of his South Sea maids are feeding him, and the remainder are entertaining him. Ah! Sweet Life! Hmmm! what is in the focus of the radar set now? Why, it looks like a traveling saleswoman. “Well,” Mr. Wulf thinks, “I’ll be a televised horn-toad. It can’t be shy little Artie Clack.” But it is. Artie is the traveling scissor sharpener for the Abigail Triample Scissor Syndicate. She is well known for her sharpening ability.

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1. Donarae 2. Pauline 3. Donna W. 4. Jack 5. Virginia S. 6. Roy 7. Norma L,ee 8. Waldo 9. Billy 10. Ross 11. Merle 12. Cleo 13. Berdine 14. Oriel 15. Eleanor 16. Phyllis 17. Norvin 18. Carla 19. Fred 20. Barbara 21. Virginia 22. Beverly 23. Artie 24. Carol 25. Sidney 26. Doris 27. Scotty 28. Wytliel