Union High School - Aurora Yearbook (Grand Rapids, MI)

Page 4 text:

.g..,..:1.-.,:1-::.:. -.,:.,-..:. :. :. :..:.,:: -..::.:.,:.,:. ::.:..:-.:..:: ::.:.,: ,:. :1.-.,-1.g. qv:2:.1:..2.1:.::..:.l:.::.::,::.':. : ,:.:.,:.,:. :. :. : .: ,:,.:,.: ,-, ,,- ,- -- ,- ,- .-. ,-, -' Q Q..

Page 3 text:

-.ff--H i - jg U --T -, W m -rf.,-,:. . Pi , ,ff -- - -f A ef ..:-'+- - 11. ' s fag: 'ff '-fe -2 TT-Ti Z Ili TTT 'T I -4,-T Y'-4-M A I believe that. being a freshman, I should study my lesson, :Xs an upper classman I can then go through on my own mOm6l'1U.lm. I believe Lnion High has the highest aver- age of beauty outside of my grammar school graduating class. l believe that I can easily be distinguished by my superior polish and my intellectual appearance. l believe I am the berries. LL-E ONE OF OUR DEBATERS SAID- Do you knoxv that Ireland is nine-tenths Catholic. one-tenth Protestant and the rest Episcopaliansfu XO. WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT. -5- Lou: XI'hat's the matter with that pie? Harold G.: Tain't fit for a pig and Iain't going to eat it. -L-.. Little Girl lin theatrelz Mother, when do the Indians come in? Mother: IYhy, there are no Indians in this show. Little Girl: Well, then, who scalped all the men down in the front row?,' ,ECT Little dabs of powder, Little specks of paint, Mal-Le my lady's freckles Look as though they ain't. -Er LU- Robert Toot: Don't make me laugh: I might grow fat. The Inseparables: lf you lika me and I lika you- QNO 'ifs' about itl. Myrtle Korten: Yes I swim Clike a rock, eh Myrt?J and dive flike a featherl. In fact, I'm an athletic girl. au- Young Doctor: iVhy do you always ask your patients what they have had for dinner? Old Doctor: It's a most important ques- tion, for according to their menus I make out my bills.'I -U- At the night school class, English for Foreigners ,a blank was recently handed in as follows: Name--Abraham Cherkowsky. Born-Yes. Business-Rotten. ..U- The proverb, Where there's a will there's a way is now reversed to When there's a bill we're away. Edward Johnson: Hot Dog! Five dollars for my latest book of poems. Ralph Schneider: VVho from? Ed johnson: American Express Company, they lost it. ,Ui NEWS ITEM Isaac Berovetsky, 692 Broadway, bought a horse for 31125. It was killed by a motor- car and the owner of the car paid him 35115 for the loss. Thereupon a new industry sprang up on the streets of Grand Rapids. EU.. FIFTY YEARS HENCE E. Hamilton: Were any of your boyish ambitions ever reached? lVIutt Heald: 'KYes, when my mother used to cut my hair I wished I might be bald- headed. -U- Mother asked the little one, on the oc- casion of a number of guests. Will the dessert hurt me or is there enough to go around? ,Ui Ruth Lindberg: My dog took the first prize in a cat show. Susie Tulos: I-Iow's that? R. L.: He took the cat. ,UT Willie: Pa Pa: Yes. Willie: Teacher says we're here to help othersf' Pa: Of course we are.',' Willie: Well, what are others here for? Lui HIGHER MATHEMATICS See how I can count, maman, said the four year old. There's my left foot, that's one. There's my right foot, that's two. Two and one makes three. Three feet makes a yard, and I want to go out and play in it. ..U.. Phil Wasserman stopped before a black- smith's shop on his way from school, and eyed the doings of the proprietor with interest. The smith dissatisfied with the boys curi- osity, held a piece of red hot iron suddenly under his nose, hoping to make the youngster beat a hasty retreat. If you will give me fifty cents, I'll lick it, said the boy. The smith took from his pocket fifty cents and held it out. The simple look- ing lad took the coin, licked it, dropped it in his pocket, and slowly walked away whistling. Ilia:-eva 9- :-

Page 5 text:

. s x.. Af ,'r-priii V f V. . , V, 'A . T . ' A 4 ' ' , -:rs .a-riff, Y H QE -if,- 1' s! if!wli f -,5g', , 1-f-5 'A' 'f jf 'f' 5' 'T' TT f-1 1 Y- :iff E f :,i4Tisff1f,. A CLOSE RACE Les Davidson Qin bed, to alarm clock as it goes off? I fooled you that time. I wasn't asleep at all. ,L-1 IN 191-I Glen Ede: I can do something that you can't do. Teacher: XYhat's that? Glen Ede: i'Grow. ...Lvl A boy of twelve years old with an air of melancholy resignation handed the following note to the teacher before taking his seat: Dear Aladamz .. Please excuse James for not being present in school yesterday. He played truant, but you need not whip him for it, as the boy he played truant with and him fell out, and he licked james: and a man they threw stones at caught him and licked him: then the owner of a cat they chased licked himg the owner of a cart they hung onto licked him. Then I licked him when I got home. after which his father licked himg and I had to give him another for being im- pudent to me for telling his father. So you need not lick him until next time. He thinks he will attend regularly in the future. ,Ll PRETTY FAST, EH? Mr. Hockstad lin history classjz Who is the president of Mexico now? LaVerne Heald: I haven't read this morn- ing's paper. ..L-l FAVORITE PASTIKIES S-miling ..... DENNIS Bftastts O-rdering . . ESTHER BOLITHO RI-esmorizing . T1-IEA DIAMOND E-vading . VERA ROBATHAN S-tudyirig . . THELAIA Lowirsxx' E-ating . . . , . EVERYBODY X-apping . , . SIDNEY LAIIIIERS I-dolizing . . CAROLINE HERRELIA O-beying . . EDMUND Dickraasox R-aving . , . . , PHYLLIS AICRAE S-ociety . .... HELEN Hrxxsox TL-.. SAFETY FIRST Rlr. Hoekstad: 'fRalph if you don't behave I'll have to send a note to your father. Snitz : You'd better not, ma's jealous. it? IX ROOM 12-I Barstis: Whats the use of washing my hands. mama: I lain't' one of those that are always raising them in school. CURE FOR BLUES Whenever you are lonesome Or just a little blue, just take a little tip from me, I'll tell you what to do. just grab your hat and place it, just so upon your bean, Then find that one stray nickel And buy a Union Nlagazine. And as you turn its pages, Surprises greet your eye. lVith such a little book as this, You'd be amazed how time will fly. Jdapied from an Exchange He never gets to the top who waits for someone to push him up. -UT AURORA ADVERTISEMENTS Say it with Flowers . . . VERLA PARK Uneeda Biscuit . . LUCILE BOGARDUS A Skin You Love to Touch, ISABEL ADAMS A Little Fairy in your House, ROBERT TooT Wear Ever . . The 1nu.rcIe.f in BfIART,S jawf Keep that School Girl Complexion . . . . . . . JIMMY DARLING Heinz 57 . . Pirlalef' QGRACE WEBB and ALTHEA NIEADE. Should'z'e .teen 'em ar IS-I2 Sl1c'f77ld1l.J They Satisfy . ED BENSON and M. Sci-ILEY Dutch Twins, ESTI-IER BOLITIIO and JACK WINCHESTER Arrow Collars . . . HAROLD TI-IEBAUD -U- Reuben Liberman to his father: Why is a pancake like the sun? Answer: Dot,s easy, it rises out of der yeast and sets behind der vest. ...U- Boss: Didn't you get the letter I sent you? NVillard Fales: Yes. I read it on both sides. On the inside it read, 'You're fired and on the envelope was printed 'Return in five days.' -U- The teacher was discussing forest conserva- tion. I don't suppose any of you ever did any- thing to conserve our forests, he said. Please sir , said Everett Cramption, I shot a woodpecker once. -U- Chuck Huwer: I am going to the hospital to be operated upon tomorrow. Ed Benson: 'WVell here's hoping every- thing will come out all right. -U- A CRUSHING TRAGEDY Bob Toot, at the second floor landing, the third hour: We are in a pickle. Sonny lfde, same place: A regular jam. Girl's voice, still same place: Heaven pre- serve us.