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Page 33 text:
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SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY Sen1or Prophets Margaret Boland Janet Barnard Joan Doemelt, Charles Auer, and Don Voss met 1D secret seance sesslons wrth the relrable 8 ball The followlng report 15 taken from the1r notes We see G1lbert Stevens roar past 1n hrs atom1c powered rocket, called the BANKENETTE for 1ts 1ngen1ous mventor Floyd Banken W11116 Hall stlll prefers h1s Model A He cla1ms that the spaceway traffic 15 fouled up SIDCG Lt Marcella Bandermann has been d1rector Denms Casey, de s1gner of the traffic way, 1ns1sts that Mrss B could manage qu1te well 1f Dav1d Houseman would stop callrng her Red In real1ty, Dav1d rs check1ng the color of the traffic lrght Someone should refer h1m to Dr Judy Gullet, the foremost optometnst As we travel through space, we pass Janet Barnard and Margaret Boland, who have found the1r Uue purpose 1n l1fe keep1ng the skyways clean On our new expressway we come to one of the town s brlghtest n1ght spots, HOLLAND named for ILS creator, Donna Holland As our able chauffeur, Henry Hubenthal hurnes us onward, we find ourselves gaz1ng at the bnght l1ghts of Broadway wh1ch announce the umversally famous troupe of ballet dancers, 1nclud1ng such per sonalrtres as Alfred Hug, and B111 Overschm1dt In nearby Mad1son Square Garden we Fnd Lanny Walker and Ken Kampen competrng for the world werght l1ft1ng champ1onsh1p Across the conunent, Hollywood IS agog that M1ke Conley 15 takmg over for the ret1red Mr Magoo and Stag Brew Also mak1ng names 1n the enterta1nment world are debonalr Noel Shoe ardson Larry Rhoads IS ta.k1ng over Sh1rley Temple s storybook hour Ray Berger has broken E1V1S Presley s record1ng sales Number 156 on top tunes IS a duet by the Yodlers, L1nda Schaefferkoetter and Larry Bartel Thelr accompamst, Judy Iarvts, 15 adept at readlng muslc upsrde down When we go through the outsk1rts of town, many fam1l1ar names are recalled Carol Holt and Jerry Klenke have establlshed a Lonely Heart's club The1r chlef pauomzers are Mack Slsson, who has fa1led to create chemrcally Instant beaut1ful women, under 5 3 and Mary Ham, who IS look1ng for her tenth spouse At Holt's and Klenke s sat1sfact1on IS guaranteed Just ask Joan Doemelt and Erna Westermann Hendr1x who cla1m the old adage, Cheaper by the Dozen IS true The large bu1ld1ng comrng 1nto slght lS espec1ally 1mportant It IS the lnternanonallnsti tuuon of Elementary Education Through the Oh1o Psycholog1cal test, Curt Hayes has found a surtable career He 15 happ1ly teach1ng fifth grade Hrs only problem IS Larry Wuellner, Jr who g1VES fum more Uouble than any other student The pr1nc1pal, Eldo Henderson, blames It on Larry s age but Lucy Wunderhch, superxntendent of schools, thmks II stems from the head rnjurles he rece1ved 1n a rough marble game Wllh Tommy Metcalf Saundra Roberts, g1rl's 29 I 1 I Y , . . . maker, known as the second Clark Gable. A hot lip from the famous columnist Rose M. Rich- . . . , . , . . . ' ' ' 'I . ' U ll 17 I . . , . . . . , . . . .
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Page 34 text:
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coach at the school, 1S perfecung a new sport rn whlch one drlbbles the ball on the ce1l1ng rnstead of on the floor The cluef problem 1S the lugh cerlrng, but Roma Mlller and Rose Mary Sreges are busy desrgning a new surtable gym for the school The school authonues are especlally proud that Bob Monzyk speech and Englrsh authorrty has consented to accept a posrtron there They also POIHI w1th prrde to Don Voss and Arnold Pope who have finally succeeded 1n crossrng prgs wrth chlckens, to get ham and eggs As we sp1n through space, we pass the new Slrmervrlle Studlo, owned and operated by Patty Klnkead and Larry Dearrng Chref patromzers are Kay Kanzler, Joan Belt, and Kenneth Krause, who model for Dana Gola and Denny Heeger Fashlons, Inc Also dedrcated to rmprovrng the appearance of humanrty are Prerre Parmentrer and Monsreur Walter Jensen who are now rn Par1s showrng therr creatron of unlque harr styles In Amerlca, the foremost ladres harr salon IS owned and operated by Marcella Boehm, rn affllratlon wrth L1ll1an Owens cosmeuc company Mrss Boehm spec1al1zes 1n stnped harr dyes lyn Berghorn We read 1n the sports column of Deanna Borgmeyer s v1ctory over LaVern Mmce meyer rn the welter welght boxrng d1v1s1on It seems that Charles Auer and Leroy Hults have been horsmg around at Churchlll Downs wrth very good results Helen Van Leer, who majored 1n Constrtutron at college, has handed down an rmportant decrsron she has sentenced Gordon Jarvrs to 24 years 1n solrtary coninement for whrstlrng at grrls Davelene Straatmann, the news photo grapher, rs completrng a book of photographs submrtted by Bob Klepper, renowned traveler, who has just returned from an Afrrcan Safarr H18 secretary, Rlta Hanneken, has complled the 4th volume of MYSTERIES of the UNIVERSE Bonnre Wecker, coffin salesman, IS sull advertlsrng U for tall trees Ronme Jones has to keep surprrsmgly young s1nce Bonnle can t frnd a tree tall enough to burld hrs coffin Next week we are expecung to hear from Dave Sorokwasz and Harvey Bell, who have been away for three years on the Plutoman expedmon They are to return w1th at least 2000 new specrmen to be sold to hunters by Bob Truel s cham of dog stores, 'I'ruel s Tra1l Trackers Suddenly everythlng becomes hazy and reluctantly our memorable look rnto the future comes to a close The farthful 8 ball 1S returned to the shelf, and the ,Tumor class resumes 1ts usual po s1uon behrnd It 30 At Louis I-Iighfill's Sudsy Soda Shop, we buy the Trans-universal newspaper edited by Caro-
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