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Page 33 text:
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THE GARNET. 3 1 e en. y HEN ill the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a class in college to sever its connections with Algebra, it behooves that class to make some preparation for the suitable observance of that event. Accordingly when ’ 8 y’s turn came to pay the customary act of respect to the remains of the departed, which have ever been held too sacred to be buried, this redoubtable class eagerly hastened to perform well the rites over the remains of Tutor Anable’s defunct Algebra. The appointed time came, and true to its trust, ’87 conveyed the corpse to its last resting-place. Robed in white, to indicate the purity of the task, the class formed around the coffin for the solemn march. With steady but sorrowful tread we wended our way through the city, carefully protecting the departed from any insult. Soon the altar was reached where the rich sacrifice was to be offered. Stray sticks were collected and soon the fire blazed forth. For one long hour did Eighty-seven guard as with their lives the consuming pyre, and then left the heap of embers to the beasts of the field. Our first class banquet was a grand success. Let us repeat it in each succeeding year of our course, and have our feelings in unison again as then. The usual plug hat parade, passing off with little opposition, only completed the crown of laurels twined around the brows of our noble class. Faithfully we did our work as Freshmen, and when Sophomore year came in, it found us extending our paternal care to unsophisticated ’ 88 . With parental hand we led them on, and taught them how to aid ’89 to fully enjoy college life. Not with an iron hand did we thrust our suggestions upon them, but with a gentle, kindly touch, hoping they would profit by our benevolence and receive our instruc¬ tion as kindly as it was given. But no ; the narrow minds of the
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Page 34 text:
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32 THE GARNET. Freshmen were unable to comprehend the kindness we were doing them. Our gentle care was rejected. Still, as patient as Job and meek as Moses, we led them on. A thankless task though; yet we felt it our duty to perform it, unpleasant as it was. Oh, ungrateful Freshmen ! why will you not receive the benefits conferred upon you ? Why will you continue in your blinded bigotry when we would gladly show you the better way ? Why will you persevere in trying to convey the impression that you own the college and are wiser than the faculty ? Oh, personification of stubbornness ! will you not see your mistake and correct your error before it is too late? Historian.
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