Union College - Garnet Yearbook (Schenectady, NY)

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THE G RjSTET. £7 ’ 80 . Some one or other has remarked that really great institutions have no history. We have no history, yet a short account of a few of the remarkable exploits performed by our valiant class may be interesting. Our grand old ship of state sailed on smoothly, with its course not in any way interrupted or disturbed by outside commotions, till the beginning of our Sophomore year, when we were brought face to face with ’81, the greenest and most disorderly crowd of Freshmen that ever walked the campus. But as I am anticipating the historian of ’8i in saying this, I’ll cut the eulogy short — simply verify my statement by one example. Among other eccentricities this class undertook to keep a menagerie in North college. We always had an eye open for their welfare and saw that everything was quiet. One night, however, when we were off our guard, we were awakened by the shout, “ The menagerie has broken loose ” — we were on the ground in an instant with our gallant president at our head. Imagine the trouble and disagreeableness of trying to force a lot of wild animals into their cage at mid-night, too ! It was a tough fight, our president was soon dispatched (home), his place supplied and left vacant, then we prevailed not till we had lost four of our noble men, cut off from all further usefulness to the college by their untimely death. Still we go on “ Small by degrees and beautifully less.” With what victories has the class of ’8o been crowned ! Were ever Fresh more thoroughly vanquished than in the hour our solid ranks bore down upon them and took away their cane ? We were equally ‘triumphant in our studies. We started mechanics with the reputation of preferring to lie out on the campus and sing—“When Captain Jack has seen his plants in bloom, etc.” Certainly we never hurt ourselves with our polling and yet in what an unprecedentedly short time we rushed We have not had any more class presidents. r 1

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24 THE GARNET.

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- 4 - THE G PtlNTJET. through the book ! Thank the Gods ! we can now strike the proper tragic attitude and with sweeping gesture consign machines to lowest Hades to illustrate the Inferno. 1 he only practical lesson that most of us got from the book was, that horse power was really a great economizer. Then we took up Lectures on Work, Electricity. In fact, we didn’t have to work at all, the man who praised the text-book and applauded most vociferously, the jokes of our worthy professor, got along the best. One rash fellow succeeded in non-plussing the pro¬ fessor and at the same time winning his mark, by suggesting that, if you saved so much steam by cutting it off one-third of the way and still more by cutting it off half way, it would be a pious scheme to cut it off altogether and save it all. Thus bv employing a little mental exertion and a great deal of cheek, our literary career thus far has been a grand success. In the Junior year we take our ease and so resting on our laurels we bid you all an affectionate, fond farewell.