Underwood (FFG 36) - Naval Cruise Book

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CO celebrates the underwater reenlistment ofFCC1SWj Thompson and BMIISWQ Turnquist. 4 OS11SI'Vj Spencer is Oh so hug Pightmg Devil P Ironmen

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knowing that if you exit, the biker gang that you hired will cut off your arms and legs to simulate sharks. Study a first aid book to learn how to handle wounds and control bleeding until you can quote it verbatim. 15. Study the owneris manual for all the appliances in the dwelling. At regular intervals, take one apart and put it back together again. Then, test operate it at the extremes of it's tolerances. 16. To make sure you are living in a clean and happy environment, every week, clean from top to bottom, working hard all day even if it is only a three hour job, whenever and as often as possible, repeating your efforts. Then have someone tell you that you missed some dust and the f1oor looks like crap. When com- plete, inspect your work, criticizing everything as much as possible. Never be satisfied with good effort. 17. Once a day, put in a video Cwhich you have preparedj to watch a movie that you walked out on a year ago. Then, watch an episode of 'fCharlie's Angelsi' that you didn't like the first two times you saw it making sure you pause it just at the peak of A the action, so, you can sweep the floor or listen to someone tell you A what you did today. 18. Monitor all operating home appliances hourly, recording all vital parameters Cplugged in, light comes on when door opens, etc.J. If not in use, then, log as Usecuredf' 19. Every three weeks, to simulate liberty in a foreign port, go out directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Enter the raunchiest bar you can find and ask the bartender for the most expensive imported beer he carries. Drink as many of these, as fast as you can in four hours, then, hire a cab to take you home by the longest route he can find. Tip the cab driver after he charges you double, because, you were dressed funny and lock yourself back in your dwelling for another three weeks. 20. Run the blender at constant high speed to simulate the constant whine of the ship's machinery and have the biker gang you hired, bang on the roof and walls to simulate men working on other levels at all hours of the night and day. 21. Buy the loudest stereo you can. Tune it between channels on the receiver and have the biker gang you hired, bang on the roof with sledge hammers to simulate launching and recovering the helo. 22. To achieve the permanent, smelly, gray, dingy look in your clothes, have the plumber connect the washer to sewer lines and throw clothing in a dark corner for two days before drying. 23. This simulation must run for a minimum of six months to be effective. The exact date of the end of the simulation will be changed no fewer than seven times without your knowledge. This is done to keep you guessing as to when you can expect to get back to a semi-normal life. It is also done in hope of screwing up any plans you have made or would like to make. On the last day of the simulation, remove the boards from the windows, but, do not go outside. Have your loved ones stand across the street, waving at you, at attention for four hours and look at them to simulate duty on the day of your return. NOTE: This simulation was designed for those who would like to, but, haven't had the opportunity to enjoy an extended period of time at sea. --ANONYMOUS HAPPY SAILING!

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CO having a little fun giving OSZCSWI Novak 'rabbit ears. Mn Houjf b please let go of my hand! 4 TMZKSWJ Lucas receives his ESWS pin from COM LISNAVCENT Q53