Uintah High School - Uintahn Yearbook (Vernal, UT)

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Every year we build memories of goofing off in class, gossiping in the halls, and fooling around together at night. We had fun times, sad times, but most of all were . . . 4 Opening Theme

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Crime Report DEER WRECK Dear Jan A fast moving deer, belonging to the Uintah Fish and Game, collided with an auto on the comer of Vernal Ave. and 2500 South last night. Dr. Oscar- son lost all hope for the deer after a grueling 10 minutes of intense surgery. EMT’s reported that the liver and heart were missing when they arrived. Name of the deer is being withheld pending notification of next of kin. The car was reported unharmed. Entertainment Ramblerettes celebrate performance prior to vicious attack. Ramblerettes Are Attacked Ramblerettes attacked after com- mand performance. The only clues given were profanities being mumbled by the battered Ramblerettes; some- thing to the effect of “You ets! You ets!” In an unrelated incident the body of a Mr. Gary Temple was found beneath Polo Team Schedule POLO TEAM SCHEDULE ANNOUNCED PROVO ..Nov. 17 TIMPV1EW ... Feb. 3 MT VIEW .. Nov. 30 LAKE VIEW Dec 10 REAR VIEW ...June 6 SCENIC VIEW Dec 14 DISTORTED VIEW Cancelled AERIAL VIEW Dec 25 the bleachers of the football field. No witnesses have yet been found. The only evidence was severe flag punc- ture wounds in his chest, and a piece of recording tape wrapped around his neck. Happy Harold Hopla is no longer happy. It appears that someone broke into his room stealing everything from a College Prep English test to a stale doughnut left in his drawer. A baffled Mr. Hopla told reporters. I just don't understand. I check everything in this room to make sure it’s locked up. sometimes even 3 or 4 times. Someone must have copies for my keys. I HE KEYING NUN IN CONCERT LIVE AT THE LAST CHANCE coming attractions • ROBERT SCHULTZ” and the Copenhagen Cowboys T The Burritto Brothers” featuring their new hit, POOR LITTLE BLACK BOY Henry Searches for a New Heavy Weight Wrestler to Lead Team DEAR JAN: I wanted to run for student body pres, but my name isn't Calvin! What should Ido? Alvin Shmuck DEAR SHMUCK: Change your name fool! DEAR JAN: I've asked eight guys to Saddie Haw- kins. 3 are going hunting. 2 of their Grandmothers died, and the other 3 need to wash their hair, what should 1 do? Desperate Soph DEAR DESPERATE: Have you considered asking your brother? DEAR JAN: Everytimc I walk down the hall some- one always flips my dress up and yells. It’s dress-up day.” Is there some- thing I can do? Wcaring-Pants-Now DEAR PANTS: Have you tried stapeling your dress to your pantyhose? DEAR JAN: I'm in love with an older man. I've waited too long for this. Is it too late to teach an old dog new tricks? Signed Mae Kay DEAR MAE KAY: Are you kidding? didn't she? Today’s Marriages Ray D. Aider to Rhea Tard Elmer Sklue to Sue Age Mel Odious to Bette Wetter X.O. Verrisi to Helen Highwater Doug Grave to Gerta Loins Chip Monk to Frieda Slaves Rex Karrs to Emmy Nems Jerry Atrick to Bunny Pellits Moe Tell to Fanny Farmer Kurt Remarque to Sadie Word “I'll do anything to get a heavy- weight that can win, I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. but 1 will have a winning heavyweight! barked Henry with a flare in his nos- trils and a gnnd of his teeth. Coach Henry hinted that if the right heavyweight was found he’d have a good chance of becoming his favorite son. Henry also grunted. I’ll begin a school wide or even a city wide if necessary. No fast food unturned, I mean we ll be winners or We tried to work at heavyweight, but have as much to offer as do! Survey: Is Your Favori Henry shows off new heavy weight wrestlers. a Dippiness most frequently occurs in teachers between the ages of 24 and retirement. It can have lasting and emotional and physical effects on stu- dents. Doctors have concluded that dippiness will wear off as soon as the teacher either quits or retires. A plague of Dippies has been known to spread quickly through an entire faculty. Does your teacher 1. look funny? 2. have an unusual odor? 3. tell stupid jokes? 4. wear different colored socks? 5. talk to themselves? 6. walk like a penguin? 7. come to school at 6:30? 8. leave school at 8:30? 9. consider Calvin Knight’s poems a work of art? 10. eryoy sophmore’s company? 11. eat chalk? 12. loose their keys? 13. take notes in faculty meeting? 14. ride a bicycle to school? 15. bring a nutritional lunch? 16. cry in class? 17. have an unwashed hankie? 18. wear a Mickey Mouse watch?