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Page 20 text:
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Sympton Cause and Remedy Body unit fails to operate in mornings • Too much homework. Don't do it or copy. Hot date lasted and lasted. Become an old maid or bachelor Excessive tardiness • You thought the bell was a fire alarm. Wear cotton in your ears. • Locker was uncooperative. Carry all contents with you. • Transportation trouble. Ride a bus. You don't care • Infectious case of apathy. 4 lbs. of school spirit taken with lunch. • No one else cares. Be yourself! Lots of free time • Bombed Drill Team tryouts. Go to Charm School. • Boyfriend lives elsewhere Find a new one or write love letters. • Didn't make the Wrestling Squad. Try out for Basketball. REGISTRATION CARD Name Address City--- State. Zip. I hereby demand that you repair □ replace □ my issue of the Uintahn because of defects caused by □ Slipshod Binding □ Sloppy Writing □ Crummy Printing □ Rotten Humor Mail to: Dr. Bert Gividen 822 w. 300 N. Vernal, Utah Card must be sent in within 15 secs, to validate. UTE MIND AND BODY OWNER'S MANUEL 16 Theme
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Page 19 text:
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The Gig £eg$. Stud corner is one of the tradi- tions of Uintah High. Some have gone so far as to call it one of the problems of Uintah. Why so? To ac- tually be a stud you must be late as possible to class. By doing so you will be seen by the other students on their way to class. They will envy you because you are not worried about going to class or about being late, and they are. Also, just by being permitted to stand, sit, or lie in or around stud corner shows status. Theoretically, the closer you stand to stud corner the cooler you are. But some would tend to disagree it seems. But that is a different matter to be covered on another topic. Dodging a date Boy A asks Girl B to the show, but Girl B likes Boy C. What can she do? Being able to dodge the unwanted date successfully takes both practice and skill. The Sophomore girl more than likely has not learned how to graciously decline yet. She will either go out with the young man or tell him a tall tale that even his little brother will never believe. Never use an excuse twice on the same guy. Keep several good ones on hand just in case. At all costs, remember that males carry a big load called an ego. One must exercise great care when dealing with this item. If you have not tactfully turned the young man down, you may be in for a big heatache depending on how often he goes to Relief Society. If he attends regularly, chances of other companions asking you out will be worse than fair to partly cloudy. In other words-the word gets around. Hickey Hints Once you've got em, you've got em. Now you need to hide them. Depending on their size and structure, the follow- ing hints should be helpful. If time is short, use the turtleneck or scarf effect. For a more professional job use the spoon method. Rub in a circular but brisk motion. Toothpaste applied gen- erously and left also removes the bruise. Last but not least, make up arranged properly also works. If these don't work — sorry! You're on your own. Theme 15 Pink Stripes? Have you ever convinced your- self that the pink stripes on your red shirt were never white? Blame it on your mother. Can you help it if your pants have a crease that starts in the middle at the top and ends on the side at the bot- tom? You should not have let her do it. But if you did the washing- your underwear would turn blue from the Levis. So until one of you learns, you'll have to live with pant legs that stick to your socks and a collar that curls up at the ends.
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