US Army Infantry School - Doughboy Yearbook (Fort Benning, GA)

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-la F, I' SCF r Q S fx 1 A lr. iii f fit ' A1 2 1 EATING THE ETI EM CARD - . Airsplgill iii QIISEE kk 'fi -- 'lil wuo Div NT .. V 1 ts, 'ffllllw , .-gil 4. ,.,. H -H Time. The early part of January of each year. Place: Station Hospital, The Infantry School. Caste: Medicos, medical attendants, and Victims. Costumes: Medicos and assistants, surgical instruments of torture, Victims, as provided by nature-less fig leaf. Act 1 Scene 1 Victim enters first hall of horrors from either right, left or center. Strolls nonchalantly up to the desk for registration. Everybody has expectant look on face and seem all set for a good time. Attendant: Who are you? Victim: John Doe :submerged captain: Infantry: thirty-seven years old: like steak in preference to ham for breakfast: married: under domestic control: one child: make it snappy. A.: How do you spell it?l' V.: With an 'A,' as in Aaron, Apple or A tlantaf' A.: How old did you say you are? V.: Thirty-six, will be thirty-seven next birthday. A.: What birthday are you nearest? V.: Don't know: my birthday's june 30th. Let's say thirty-seven for luck. A.: K'Did you say- QInterrupted by hard boiled Medico who yells Next. j Scene II Medico: Ever had any relatives hanged for horse stealing or bootlegging? Victim: No record of same. M.: Have you any ancestors? V.: Not since I was a child. I isa I K ..- if 2 f '? 1 O ' Wt ai 4 x nb

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I 3, P . J-fri' L ,V lx, pw IT: - fn -x J X W . '2- A 9 G much as if the day is not average. But let us take 8 to start with and if in the course of battle you find the Law of Averages has been broken call on us and we Engineers will be glad to furnish you with more numbers. After taking this figure 8 and assembling your men, divide them into groups of 8, and then di- vide the 8 by two and you will get -let me see-yes 8 divided by 2 is 4. Now we have the number 8, and four men. Give each man three shovels and picks, or three picks and shovels as the case may be, and put them to work. At the end of the average day each man will have dug-9 times 3 is 27 and that multiplied by Z is 54. Divide 54 by 3 and you will have 18. Divide that by 9, see, the answer is 2. Now multiply 2 by 4 and there you are, 8. You can't get away frorn figures.- 3 cubic feet in one day. Now you may find that by the end of the third or fourth day that even the average soldier will not be quite up to this high average of 8. Perhaps he has broken one of his picks, or he may have tired himself a bit trying to use all three at once, or he may have forgotten to use a pick and shovel at the same time. At any rate, after three or four days you may find the number 8 too large. In other words you want a number less than 8. Let us say, 6. Yes, here it is in the table. You see how we get it? 8 divided by 4 is 2, add 1 and you get 3. And three times two is six. In othe words you see where you would be if you tried to construct Field Works without an Engineer to do all the hard work. We will now go out to a soft sandy place about twice as far away as necessary and we will show you how it ought to be done. Don't ask any ques- tions because I know what they will be before you ask them and you wouldn't be able to understand the answers. Five minute break. It is now 9:58. As- semble at the train at 10:00. 7. X 2 . ,X VY Y ...Q S Q T' 'ui H2 S' I 'L i 'fi ps? ,-'1 fn-- IW x V iw

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.lg , - NNW! , iw 1 7 ' , . Nt 19:4 ueuaov A M.: Be sure you tell the truth about this because it's very important. Give date, hour, place, and circumstances in connection with any sickness, injuries, diseases, scandals, etc., you have had. V.: W-e-l-1-l, it's a long story but- M.: Cl-Iurriedly Wait a minute. If the question can't be answered either 'Yes' or 'No' I'll just mark the answer 'None' and let it go at that. V.: Well, there's one matter I'd like to men- QSecond Medico yells Next and Victim moves on.j Scene III Znd. Medico: Can you read? Victim: Not in the day time: I went to night school. Znd. M.: Take a chance on this anyhow. Read the first row of letters. V.: A, R, C, Znd. M. QInterruptingj No, No, NO! You're away off. Here, repeat after me. fReads line which he has memorized, followed by victim. Q You're all right. Next! Victim: CProceeding to next Medicoj Can you take me now? Y Medico: Certainly. Watinell you think I'm waiting here for? Sit down and try to sneeze. QVictim tries hard but fails? You're in a bad way. Sit steady now and don't move an inch. QTickles V's. nose with feather: V. sneezes and is shunted on to next Medico.j Medico Q4th onej: Stick both fingers in both ears. No, not that Way: one finger in each ear. Now see if you can hear this pin drop. CDrops pinj Did you hear it? Victim: Sure did: it sounded like a ton of brickf' M.: You guessed wrong that time: I didn't drop it. Now I'm going to hold it. Let me know when you hear it drop. V.: It didn't make much noise that timef' M.: Well I dropped it. I'll have to give you another test. Repeat after me. CWhispersj M-rn-m-ble . , V.: QStands mute.j M.: QWhispering still lowerj How about a little drink? V.: QTurning quicklyb Sure thing: where'd you get it? M.: fTriurnphantlyj. Never mind. Pass on. CVictim passes out.j Act II Scene I Dentist: Sit down here and open your mouth. Not so wide, it doesn't look dignified. There, that's better. Seven-come-eleven-big cavity: 23, 45, 1- i s -6 W , 5 ff- wiv? fi'- ti,