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Page 48 text:
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SENIORS On the didactic side Dirty Dave Balderdash ' s lectures, suppiimented by pearls of wisdom from Mickey Rooney and the Whittier Flash, provided us with the essentials of skin diseases. These lectures were attended by everybody except Suits, Schreiner, and Courington. The whole subject was neatly condensed into one question and one answer: What ' s that? I don ' t know! Treatment of skin diseases was greatly simplified: If it ' s wet, dry it; if it ' s dry, wet it. If you don ' t know what the hell it is, tell them to buy a convertable and send them to the beach. It won ' t help the disease, but the kids will love you. And then there ' s the Zimmerman reflex In Survey of Disease Gene Manzer, wearing Stanford Red, pointsd out clearly to all that one doesn ' t have to be a mathematical genius to calculate fluid and electrolytes as long as the kidneys are working. Dr. Reynolds covered dis- eases of the liver so completely that nothing was left to be desired. He even had a slide of a familiar young, pre- cirrhotic, alcoholic bending his elbow in a sidewalk cafe. T ' was in this course that we learned the bread and butter value of the acute remunerative cholecystectomy; and that diabetics, as well as everyone else, have glucose toler- ance curves. Surgery Set Clinic taught us that Friday after- noons might be better spent at the beach and that McCranie hadn ' t really benefitted from his past 7 years of education. Graft is everywhere as we discovered from the fixed cases in Differential Diagnosis; that is, fixed for certain guest speakers. Jenkins still hasn ' t figured out which is better, -|--j- -[--(- or a very excellent remarkable. Oh well, we wouldn ' t have to put up with this course as seniors! With our last free summer over, we were finally, after an interminable length of time. Seniors! However, much to our dismay we still hadn ' t seen the last of Differential Diagnosis. At least the lucky juniors had. Aside from these Friday afternoons, we found that to the complexities of medicial education had been added the difficult task of deciphering clerkship schedules. This proved to be the hardest task of the 4th year. While the Peterson, et al., group re- lentlessly strove to account for every minute of the schedule, most of us spent the days drinking coffee in the forbidden Employee ' s Cafeteria; Howard Otto just gave up in con- sternation and stayed home. OB-GYN was a world of BOAs, Kielland and Simpson for- ceps, unsuccessful pudendal blocks, 15 second scrubs, fourth degree tears, passing the buck to the relieving crew, phan- tom applications, Oh Laudy, Laudy, Yi Yi Yi, the slippery elm and the delight of discovering the uppermost layer of the pubococcygeus. Oft heard remarks included; What d ' yo mean 59.9% effaced? , I can ' t pee now because I was castrasized downstairs. , fireballs of the womb. , I had congenial syphilis oncst. , I ' ve been ignemic all my life. , Everytime I menistrate I get clogs in my vagiba. , How can I be? I ' m not even married yet. It was here that Manzer discovered a new Pitocin method of birth control. There is general agreement that the high point of the year was NEURORTHOUROLOGY. The ortho residents seemed to take particular delight in assigning patients almost com- pletely encased in plaster which made physical examination difficult if not impossible. One enterprising individual talked to an empty body cast with a double hip spica for three hours trying to get a history. It wasn ' t until he tried to do the physical that he discovered that the patient had been dis- charged the day before. Many of the beds harbored bearded old men (and women) hopelessly entangled in a meshwork of wires, pulleys, ropes and braces looking like beat spiders spinning crazy mixed-up webs. One of our chores was to figure out why these things worked, what they were called, and how to get the patient out of them at time of discharge. Who can forget the Russell ' s traction with the H-P suspension supported by an Abernathy frame on a Flotz brace with 5 lb. weights on the eccentric flobab on the scramplate on an adjoining Anderssn-Sland rsen-Hendarsen-McGarnagie support on an attached Glatzalouheimer bridge? — me, that ' s who! J f ' F iSS THE Ci O D OUT TO THE JTUOENT TO PULL ON THE RBT iCTOf? O A OT 6 V THE - EHQSTflTS... . STOO 5UR J-EftV H£ OOES f ' T LOOK llKE OC , J UT rOU SHOULD SEE H M TA? ?T UEH TS . ' ' ' KKWiaeiM aEi»s»Miai
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Page 49 text:
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r i. i - gg PLEASE DO NOT OCCUPY CAFETERIA TABLES Setcoeen I1-50A.M. fl zo 12-30P.M.
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