USC School of Medicine - Asklepiad Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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SENIORS S O EMPUUE , MRORE GO HOME IN THREE MINUTES I Clinical path was chucked full of all sorts of practical goodies: the use of the bell shaped curve in the measurement of bells, the diameter of a Lee White tube, that we shouldn ' t drink the cyanmethemoglobin diluent but if we did it prob- ably wouldn ' t kill us unless some idiot made a mistake in making it and put too much cyanide in it, the real meaning of dry-labbing, sophistication in the technique of producing hematomas, and the technique of bone marrow punctures for fun and profit. Path lab offered many opportunities to take out our hostilities and aggressions on rats. Several batches were irradiated and the observation was made that all their hair fell out. One of the batches consisted of Hall, Jones, Colburn, Reed, and Firestone. In Pharmacology we had the distinction of being one of the last classes to take the course before pad locks were put on the latrine doors. We were taught the art of writing illegible prescriptions, and here again Danny Cooper ex- celled. Larry Bolick was observed to take his only notes in Medical School during the lecture on aphrodesiacs. Experi- ments were conducted using various drugs such as alcohol, spirits fermenti. Vodka, booze, and hooch. The potentiating effects of orange juice were also observed. Although our schedule kept us pretty busy. Tumor Path afforded us an opportunity to relax, sleep, and to go to the beach. Oscar and Phil were even allowed to ploy Bridge during class. With our ranks depleted after 2 years mental and moral deterioration, the onset of the junior year found our class once again restored to full force. Heretofore, peaceful chaos had reigned supreme; however, under the firm hand of Joan Otto (one of the new transfer students, whose husband also goes to school, I think) order was restored. As 3rd year students, we were to be found scattered in small groups throughout LACGH. Medicine comprised the greatest part of the 3rd year. And it was on this service that we learned the management of the Acute fulminating placement problem, as well as the use of abreviations such as; SOB, ASHD, PND, and PPP, PPT. Our case write-ups were things of sheer literary genius, and consist.:d of 7-15 pages of pertinent negatives. This includes such things as; no hang nails, no warts, and no spermatocele. The write-ups were, however, on essential port of the cose workup. It wasn ' t as if anyone would read them, but how else would the charts get so thick? Many valuable lessons were learned on the Medical service. These included the art of recording EKGs, measuring venous pressures and circ times, gagging patients with gastric tubes, making D.T. patients jump in horror by pointing to immaginary spiders crawling across their beds, and the art of infiltrating IVs. Pulak loorned why one shouldn ' t lay across the legs of a patient undergoing a gastric lavage. The patient vomited suddenly with the tube aimed inadvertently at Pulak. It hit him with all the force of a musket ball right smack in the side of the head. A gentle Oh s....t was all that was heard as he looked up with all sorts of things dangling from his glasses. One of the high points of the Diabetic service occurred when a patient was being presented to one of the senior female members of the house staff. She was bent over, busily engaged in scrutinizing a typical example of diabetic retinopathy when a blind patient in the next bed reached for his water bottle. He overshot his mark and found instead the generous posterior quarters of her nibs. Puzzled by what he had found, he explored all quadrants with a series of gentle pots. Her head bobbed up and down rhythmically. His hand suddenly slipped off and found the water bottle. A split second later, she straightened up, raised her cane and swung around in exasperation to face the culprit, and there stood Bob Jones, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Nothing was said, but there was communication — on her part. Housed in the CD building (where no CD patients are admitted) the Pediatrics service was spent under the guiding hands of Dr. Indenbaum. Under his firm direction we were exposed (literally ' to such things as Measles, Mumps, Chicken- pox, etc. And in his concise, lucid manner he taught us his own unique brand of fluid and electrolytes. Ample time was provided for the reading assignments; maybe we should have read them. This proved to be Mike O ' Brien ' s favorite service, and Mike proved to be Dr. Indenbaum ' s favorite student. On admitting nights the technique of doing un- successful L.P.s on small moving targets was mastered, while the rest of the night was spent in the well equipped lab doing scut work for the residents. Dr. Hodgman directed the newborn service as well as illustrating the effects of postural hypotension to all who doubted that women ore stronger than men. The Psych and Path services proved to be 8 weeks of a relatively relaxed atmosphere in an otherwise hectic year. The path staff under the direction of Dr. Brownie allowed us to run all the bowels we wanted. And Dr. Kuzmo convinced all that it ' s better to be obscure than Professors. In Psych we all became deciples of the Morgan Principles; while Dr. Rogawski analyzed us more than we analyzed the patients. DID you EtrciT AMY R£ OU fO T£ VD£R £5S r. ¥v«» iAL ' iu iM vi»i oaj