USC School of Medicine - Asklepiad Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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e - L. to R. Front: Adelberg. Adamson, Barton Back: Alpern, Bachman, Azar L. to R. Front: Brooks, Brown, Bynny Back: Callister, Carlson, Casebeer ■ » L. to R. Front: Coomes, Dramov, Eenmaa Back: Edwards, Cohen, Fareau L. to R. Front: Fishman, Flaum, Gourrich Back: Gerber, Greenson, Holinger L. to R. Front: Hull, Janes, Jin Back: Joy, Kelley, Kamomoto L. to R. Front: Ketchum, Lenthall, Levy Back: Korn, Lerner L. to R. Front: Lymberis, Marshal, Martin Back: A. Miller, B. Miller, Moore L. to R. Front: Morelli, Moseley, Muncheimer Back: Olsen, Parker, Petro

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FRESHMEN As always, the freshman class commenced with the fortunate sixty-eight, (How many will remain of course is a question to debate) But it was blessed, unlike the rest, with a new building and location. And the presence of six girls in class is worth consideration. Sixty-eight eager students secretly hoping their star to steer Into the path of their ambitions in the medical career; But after the first hour of class was over the smiles were erased As a future indication of the rough-road to be faced. Anatomy is to medicine as the dollar sign is to dollars. It molds all eager pre-meds into aspiring medical scholars; The pinnacle of achievement providing the first real test Of all present hopefuls of attaining their desirable quest. In it the art of butchering is exercised with greatest of skill The only instruments required are a scalpel and a strong will. And once the morbidness and the initial revenge pass It proves to be the scape-goat of the psychotic jester class. So not too infrequently girls daintly do reach and find Deep in their labcoat pockets pieces of different kind; While in the highest of spirits, conversation ranges wide And there ' s a social gathering at every corpse ' s side. Until the fateful evenings, when panic strikes with fear. The corpse is half dissected, the practicum draws near. The terror smitten students, sweat grimly and cut away Muttering at themselves, studying on time does pay. While lectures in anatomy depart from all convention For any illustration is a maze in 3-dimension, And with no two structures are relationships quite the same — Though all is very simple , the professor assures (in vain). The wise sophomores soy to take good notes in class And study old exams since Anatomy is easy to pass. But Gardner is inadequate and Gray is not sufficient And to study just to pass is definitely inefficient. So pressed from every corner, the freshman is ill fated. His future is at stake — (No wonder he ' s frustrated). He reads from many books (the sophomores were just bluffing) And though he studies much, come the exam he knows nothing. Then follows the dreadful awaiting at the end of every class Whether exams are corrected and the score high enough to pass. The days were being numbered when all would end in bliss — And yet of all the other subjects, Anatomy we will ready miss. Histology is noteworthy as a marathon class Which in length of lecture hours no one can surpass. While in number of notes taken, it needn ' t the slightest fear The most prolific novelist could even attempt to draw near. In depth of subject however, it is by far notorious. And in minuteness of detail, often quite vainglorious; So the freshmen frequently wanders, awed beyond belief If it weren ' t really wiser to take up law as a relief? In the breadth of the covered scope. Histology does excell (Material seems drawn infinitely from a never-ending well) So that having once presented the well known factual observations. It proceed to inklings that bring microscopists great ejations. The climax of the struggle of pen, fingers, eyes and mind. Frequently terminates with the best tension relief of its kind, Whereupon slides are presented by an unusual expert found Whose knowledge of right and left is as vague as up and upside down. And though aptitude often fails, laughter does abide. So that three hours of lecture were surely worth the slide. And if practicals are impossible and exams ego deflating Boredom selfom exists and the topics are quite fascinating. Alertness is recommended to all with Biochemistry faced — A single blink of the eye may find all formulas erased. And a compass may be necessary and a sextant at all cost, For arrows point in every way and it ' s easy to get lost. A single glycolysis product has dozens of relations. Every chemical reaction multifold connotations. While compounds and formulas add like branches of a tree; So to end the ECA cycle is like reaching infinity. And starvation would be wiser than a retentive memory. Were there a sure known way of absconding ATP. Oh what a feeling of relief, were we really done. But remaining in biochemistry, the worse is yet to come. The paragon of the twentieth century is the class Psychiatry Whose sole concern is the relief of tension and anxiety. While in purpose it has been designed naive freshmen to impress That to lead a normal life means to be by sex obsessed. The subject matter is animated and bluntly picturesque. While to hear the periods one goes through is really quite grotesque; So two hours for lecture were set aside by the department ' s own volition. Lest students respond to drastically from over imbibition. On every other Thursday, for which we alternate. We proceed to John Wesley, our egos to inflate. For like authentic doctors (how the poor patients we must vex) We discuss all problems from alcohol to sex. And in the brief intermission before we aggregate With our designated leaders our experiences to relate. Two slightly stiffened pianists in vain attempt to play While their respective classmates cannot hear what they say. And once the melee is over, and all noise does subside. Each four discussion members in groups are drawn aside. And in the fateful hour we reveal in all respect From doctors how removed we are: much more than we suspect.

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L. to R. Front: Ross, Scwab, Shaw Back: Smith, Roberts, Salick L. to R. Front: Spruce, Stahler, Stone Back: Sullivan, Tager, Unguez L. to R. Front: Williams, Wittesch, Zlatnlck Back: Wilson, Woerner To extend the narration into the second semester will be more difficult — principally because the author is not a soothsayer, and secondly because her poetic inspiration is failing. One can meet neuranatomy at eight on Monday and Friday in two alternative manners: either with the enthusi- asm of being challenged by an impossible quest or with the desire to have seen the human brain permanently staunched at the fish level of the phylogenetic tree. Generally, how- ever, the latter feeling overcomes the former, especially when one is faced with the complex mass of tracts, nuclei, pathways etc. which on cord X-section slides are sufficiently homogenized into an obscure mass to cause a lesion in every student ' s memory. Biochemistry lecture verified the author ' s prediction that the wo rse was to come. It is with dreadful anticipation that one awaits the revelation of board after board of scrawled hierogliphics, (otherwise known as formulas), which demon- strates from all facets that the intricacies of Biochemistry were never designed to elucidate the average medical stu- dent. To compensate for the lecture and to prevent the de- partment from having a guilty conscience, a laboratory course was established, in which a student needs to be profficient in only three respects: to be able to read and obey instructions without questioning, to be skilled in removing fluid from a beaker with a pipette and pouring it into a testube, and to be adept in using the Klett. But the dearest remembrances of lab will be those occasions when the professor addresses the dignified freshmen as now listen children. There is no department more concerned with the student ' s well being than Physiology, which has attempted to allev iate the tension and frustration one experiences while awaiting for the results of exams by revolutionizing the grading sys- tem and having a checkmark or a review be on indicatory measure of progress. (In the meantime one dwells in dis- illusionment and is shocked to find himself failing at the end of the semester by a checkmark.) Besides excelling as the class in which experiments invariably work out when no one is looking. Physiology specializes in confronting students with such dramatic facts as the marvellously balanced and regu- lated systems of the hemo sapiens can be reduced to nothing but a bag of salt water. There is much more to tell, but for fear of arousing the wrath of the editor-in-chief by exceeding the allotted space in the annual for the freshmen, the author is forced to conclude. Those characteristics that make up a freshman class: the fresh greeness of inexperience, the carefree laughter, the foolish pranks, the enthusiasm in being challenged — event- ually will dissipate with time, but as for now, they merge into making the freshman year one of the most enjoyable and unforgettable moments in every medical student ' s life. Borina Dramov