University of Southern California School of Dentistry - El Molaro (Los Angeles, CA)

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University of Hawaii This is my sidel ick, he ' ll polish the alloy. ' That stupid Vince left his fishing reel In here again. You say you don ' t like the way he ' s holding his handpiece. Alan who hails from Hawaii entered USC dental school with the hope of becoming the best dentist among the engineers (engineering degree from the University of Hawaii). In the MDL he was quiet and fast, he never stayed late, nor did he ever have any difficulties except some minor mishaps which he greeted with a loud sh . . . t, and that was the only reminder to the rest of us that he was still there. Alan hated LA. and wanted to get away so badly that one time during the sophomore operative final he got done so fast that while the rest of us were still curving our class ll ' s, Alan was on the plane to Hawaii dreaming of beautiful beaches and even more beautiful women. After school one could always see Alan wearing slippers with an aloha shirt, and drinking beer at 901 with the guys laughing with his most unique laugh even at the dumbest jokes. Alan was fast, efficient, and ready to help his fellow student with an advise or a particularly difficult procedure. I will always treasure his friendship, and so will the others who had the privilage to know him. He plans on opening a practice in Hawaii after graduation, and we all wish him success knowing that he will undoubtedly be the best at whatever he undertakes. ALOHA, and good luck.

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4! Jerry would like to tell you to stick it up your Santa Monica City College A. A., Calif. State University Northridge B.A. I ' m tired of this crap, let ' s go have a smoke. .. ' fflaiSiMSySfflSSiiffi: . ;rap, another double meat whopper th cheese and I hope I can keep down. Jerry Szkiarek was not what you would call your every day All-American, run-of-the-mill dental student. By way of Poland, Jerry settled in California in 1969. (There is no truth to those ugly rumors that Jerry is a communist spy.) After receiving his B.S. from Cal St. Northridge in five years without the benefit of knowing any English, Jerry craved for still a greater challenge. In 1974, contemplating a career either as a Polish cosmonaut or an American dentist, he chose to pursue the latter at USC. (And the Conquest goes on!) Upon entering SC, Jerry was placed in Lab E and was assigned an Hawaiian partner. Also in the same corner of the lab sat another European. Mike Tasic, a Yugoslavian. Despite these handicaps, Jerry excelled in all facets of preclinical dentistry. Jerry and Mike became inseparable friends, maybe because no one else understood them. They would always take two hour smoke breaks before getting started on a 21 2 hour operative or morphology carving exam. They could be heard muttering to themselves on these breaks about returning to Russia, PICKA Tl MATERINAI Clinical work was no different, as Jerry took two semesters off mastering the art of pinball-otomy, before scheduling his first patient. He amazingly completed his junior clinics in one month of the last trimester as a junior, getting no less than 4.0 ' s. The last I heard he had amassed 1800 pts. in his last trimester alone but was still a hundred pts. short in Perio. Jerry plans to practice in L.A. and return to SC as a part-time instructor in either Operative or pinball. 179

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f iM r •1 F i i. i ' ; -? Damned machine! ' U.S.C.. B.S. 1976 Tasic on his way to school. Portrait of the Dentist as a Young Man ... or Mikey ' s Complaint ... or The Saga of Drobar Chovik ' Partner! What time is it? . . . Partner! Partner! What do we do next? . . . Notches: Betty Jo. Stick woman. Shelly, Gordona, Shirley. Candy. Dr. Hubbs Viva las margaritas! ' . . . Smiley ' s breath rushed forth with a hoarse gasp as if he had been punched in the gut. Smiley ' s countenance burned crimson and tears came to his eyes as he choked. That ' s the G--d--est excuse for a tooth I ' ve eber seen! It looks like a f— ing fish. Using his thumb and forefinger Smiley flipped Mikes ill-fated first tooth out the window. Mike ' s countenance immediately fell as his central sailed under his nose and into the morning air. An instant later he whinced at the crisp Snap! of wax meeting cement thirty feet below. Smiley stutter-stepped the chair, stiff armed the trash can, and disappeared ■ - . Partner, what time is it? Partner! Look! I got an ■A on my tooth! An A partner! Mash-ku peech-ku! I knew it was good! Skinn-missus-squirtza! . ' Yes, one is best advised to marry a virgin ... Perhaps I will marry. Perhaps I will not . . . I am doing O.K. I have 4 perio surgeries ... ■•| am doing O.K. I have 8 perio surgeries . . . ' I am doing O.K. I have 12 perio surgeries ... I would stop chasing women if it would get me out of this place! . . . ' On second thought, perhaps I would rather not get out . . . But Dr. Mertcheff. I got an A in occlusion ... The common man will be happy with a cold beer and a color TV. Therefore. .. will always be oppressed . . . These men will do the job: Reagan, Wallace, Schmidt, Maddox. Buckley ... out-in-out-in-out-in: to the left. MOVE! Here lies Mikey Foiled by a class III cavity. To his friends he was fair. His girlfriends he did share. Alas, we will miss him for eternity. R.I. P. What time is it. partner? Thanks, partner! . . I like you too. Mike . . . Of course my patient ' s not smoking, he ' s already high. Your bridge is in here somewhere with these cigarette butts, old saliva ejector ...