University of Southern California School of Dentistry - El Molaro (Los Angeles, CA)

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Bacteriology DR. MILO DON APPLEMAN Where do bacteria leave off and fungi begin? Can you really streak a plate evenly? Why in the devil do we have to figure out what this stupid unknown is when the lab tech is sure the culture was contaminated during inoculation. Sergi and Stan and that stupid Dr. Pepper sign . . . and incubators and gram stain, and methyl blue, and phenolphthalein, iodine, ethyl alcohol (hie) . . . cutting out early and missing the quiz; geting a copy of Appleman ' s lectures by buying his book; trying to follow Kurtz ' s fanciful trip thru immunity theory, and Kelly thru Cod knows what . . . these are the things Bacti is made of! Keep your bugs to yourself, John! sure to buy my book, and ou ' ll p, s this course! Aw come on fellas, you ' re kiddmg aren ' t you? Periodontics The lectures started off slow . . . we were told we could expect printed notes on these lectures later. We were about five weeks behind, which made for great fun on the first exam! Crading of exams left a little to be desired — we found out our midterm grades three days before the final! . My father ' s name was Caiant, therefore if follows that I should be Calanter • Dr. Benjamin, I don ' t know what calculus is, ! only went as far as trig! . The first patient was very traumatic — they actually bleed and move! . These students act like they are hoeing a victory garden! . No one knows what etiology is ... ! Ill print up these notes for you DR. BOB REEVES Feet up put em on the po po

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Pathology JOHN Oral Pathology There are dental plumbers, dental jewelers, dental morticians . . . and there are stomatologists! With these simple, succinct statements we were introduced to Dr. Nathan Freudman, the psychologist of the periodontium. Here we became familiar with the exotic lesions of the oral cavity ... at least we classified them according to Dr. Rice, and destroyed them according to Dr. Freudman. Dr. Nettleman and Dr. Cantor taught us to scale extracted teeth and to recognize lines of retzius. We found out that the knife and fork does the masticating, mixing with saliva is done by the tongue, and you don ' t need the teeth at all . . . why save them? — they ' re of psychological importance only, my friend! Well, we had learned the normal tissue . . . then thev switched the slides on us and we learned what it really looked like! It was a classical class . . . dolor, rubor, tumor ... it was microprojection, being locked out, it was jiggle, jiggle evervtime a car, bus, or — heaven forbid — a train went bv the building ... it was consuming reams of paper during lectures, it was capillary distention, parenchymal degeneration, it was algormortis (set in 8-10 hours after exam), rigormortis (lack of oxygen during exam), and livormortis (rapid discoloration of the body upon hearing the grade). Differentiating hyaline degeneration, secondary amyloidosis, pyknosis, anorexia nervosa, cachexia, cloudy swelling ... all led to pressure atrophy (a form of brown atrophy or fatty metamorphosis). Semantically this was General Pathology! Roentgenology OUR FIRST EXPOSURE ... by a great guy, Dr. O ' Grady

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Pharmacology You don ' t appreciate mv lectures . . . ? Those of us who attended the lectures sat down, opened our books, pointed our finger, and followed word for word the material . . . until Orpheus took over (the god of sleep). Thru these dynamic lectures our eyes were opened to the far-reaching vistas of amazing scientific phenomena of ancient pharmacopia! We were awestruck by the PDR, USP, NF, ADR, and NNR. Then every Thursday afternoon we were amused and enlightened by our escapades thru practical pharmacology . . . and therapeutics of the mind. LSD was big . . . two teaspoons of nutmeg in coffee . . . and away we go. At the end of one hour of Dr. Brady ' s lectures the blackboard was covered with memorabilia . . . nobody took notes . . . and no final! It doesn ' t mailer i ju won ' t remember il anyway! Physiology Damn! It brushed my sleeve! Physiology — a lecture and a lab . . . really two separate entities! The lab with Zam (arm pits), frog ' s muscles, and cutting out early. The lecture with a brand new vocabulary and unending notes on the functions of the human body. Our arch enemy of the lab was the kymograph. We spent hours smoking drums, trying to get good recordings, and then shellacking before smearing. Invariably, something went wrong in this myriad of processes. Many times a sharp pointed instrument came in handy for writing on the drums. We saw muscles twitch until our sleep was disturbed with wierd tracings ... we saw minute wires . . . wrong connections, and pieces of old film in these dreams. We tested each other for blood pressure, pulse rate, inspiratory capacity, expiratory capacity, blood sugar, blood count, and just plain blood. We pithed frogs without end and ended with a frog jumping contest in back of S and T . . . well, it actually ended with the frogs in the alumni fountain in front of Doheny Library! Likeable fellow