UNC School of Medicine - Tarhealer Yearbook (Chapel Hill, NC)

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SRO in 105 Berryhill “What? No break?! I want my 10 minute break!” A Three Part Essay On Language I. Introduction Berryhill Hall at 7:59 had the usual pre-class white noise, while caffeine slow clawed its way into 160 sleep deprived mind. At 8 o ' clock sharp, the pathologi entered the lecture hall, strode boldly up to the podium, adjusted his glasses ar stared at us with such contempt it made our barely circulating blood pause ar turn a degree colder. “Let us begin” he said. “You’re an unseemly looking grou but let ' s see if we can learn something anyway . . .” he looked distastefully fro above his neat bow tie and white lab coat, down his long thin nose through h round John Lennon glasses, at my beard, long hair and tie-dyed shirt. “The top today is caaaancer he said, pausing on the word cancer to show proper respe for so holy a topic. “A fourth of you will die of it, and its nice to know how you’i ' going to go, so pay attention.” He seemed to enjoy that last thought just a littli May I have the first slide please” he said and a picture of jumbled cells lif people packed into a VW bug flashed onto the screen. As if pointing out the ve: culmination of a life’s work, he made a sublime sweep of his arm at the tf brightly colored image and announced “This lesion, ladies and gentlemen, incompatible with the condition known as life. Notice the epithelium — breai taking, isn’t it? What do you call this type of cancer? This example is compatib with a diagnosis of moderately well differentiated adenocarcinoma of the pro: tate.” A few guys shifted nervously from side to side in their chairs. Once glance genitalward for a moment. “Notice the mitotic figure, the cytoplasmic bridge and the anaplastic, dysplastic and morphologic changes, all typical of this di: ease. The basement membrane is here . . He clicked the slide changer ar continued on his journey down the glands of the prostate to show the inner se rets of the cellular basis of death itself. “This is the artwork of God!”, he began tj warm up, “and if you’ve got to die, you might as well have a beautiful lesion . . Ah, a religious man, I thought. Eventually lecture ended and it was time for me 1 go to work at the Health Sciences Library. My job involved helping people in th computer lab. [ II. The Meaning of Words “Ready to get out of here Traveller?” I asked my computer hacking friend as relieved him at the desk. “It’s all yours and I don’t envy you a bit, pal ” h chuckled. Some guy with a turban on tried to grab him, but Traveller just pointe 74

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Pardue A. A White. K.E. White. V K Wierum. C. Williams. J.T. Wilson. J.L Shah. A J. Wilson. P.A Wood. J H Smith. S.V Smith, J S. 73

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“Oink and Boink in the front row’’ — N. Fischer finger right between my eyes, at some point far back in my brain, and said 3 ete there can help you with all your questions.” I saw him smile gleefully to mself on the way out. I knew it was going to be a tough day for me; it already oked like the United Nations, and there probably was not going to be anyone I uld even speak to without a Berlitz dictionary. I sat down and started to catch ) on a little reading, expecting to hear any minute a “why this thing NO ' ORK?!” Things were going pretty well when I saw a user come in. The user jnt over to initial the sign-in sheet and her long blond hair framed her well ?veloped upper anatomy. She looked up smiling with large full lips and asked, )o you think you could help me with some applications today? “That depends i your software preference” I answered, thinking that I would probably be able help her with whatever software she had, but not wanting to seem overly ithusiastic. “I’m using Turbolaser today on the printer, and last time I was here, was spontaneously changing fonts on me. Do you know anything about that?” ' eah, Turbolaser is a little bit outdated as far as they go, but I might be able to me up with a few commands that might help. For example, you might try re- itializing the printer before you enter the print sequence , I feinted with rapid ind gestures, while I really had no idea what she was talking about. Maybe I uld suggest a different word processor.” “No, it’s a little slow for some of my dustrial uses, but I like the way it formats and it’s good with little things like paginating, and that means a lot! she parried with another of those big smiles, ' eah, it’s user friendly, too. Let’s take a look . . .’ Conclusion n the way home, I passed some of kids playing in a parking lot. “Yay, yi, Yay !!” le screamed like a banshee while his friend answered “Yi, yi, yi, yll”. Another y danced, jumping up and down and spinning around in insane circles “Say ieese a little girl said, as she pointed the make believe lens of a plastic camera me. “Queso I asserted, flashing her my best ear-to-ear grin while she took my cture. The little boy looked up and smiled just enough to show me the space Jtween his teeth while he rocked side to side, the went back to his fantastic linning. I walked home thinking we had understood each other. — John Krege CLASS 75