UNC School of Medicine - Tarhealer Yearbook (Chapel Hill, NC)

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DISCHARGE SUMMARY The North Carolina Memorial Hospital Chapel Hill. N.C 27514 CLASS OF 1988 Unit 05-08-88-1 Date of Admission: 8-14-84 Attending: Stuart B ondurant, MD Date of Discharge: 5-8-88 ADMISSION DIAGNOSIS: Medical Ignorance DISCHARGE DIAGNOSIS: Medical Ignorance, Chronic Debt History and Physical : The class was admitted with 162 members from 20 states and 4 foreign countries. Previous occupations included preacher, surveyor, nurse, teacher, carpenter and hippy. There was a large number of direct admits. Prior to admission, the class carried a diagnosis of medical ignorance and multiple personalities. Physical exam was remarkable for a variation in height from 4 ' 10” to 6 ' 4 . Weight ranged from 90 to 210 lbs. On mental status exam, the class was intermittently alert and oriented. The attention span was 50 minutes. The fund of knowledge was abysmal. There were delusions of grandeur. Medical School Course, Basic Sciences : The class was placed on an experimental protocol and started well with no failures in Cell Biology. Large doses of Biochemistry, Anatomy, and Pathology resulted in several adverse reactions. After two intense years of study, the degree of ignorance was only minimally lessened. A Neurologic systems consult was obtained at the end of the second year proved to be worthless. Mental status exam at this time now showed the attentions span to be 10 minutes. Based on the improving fund of knowledge, it was decided to transfer the class to the hospital. Third Year : After hours of useless and unfounded worry about schedules, the class was placed in various locations around the state. Chronic disorientation and anxiey during the first rotations almost proved fatal, but dedication and intestinal fortitude resulted in upgrading the class ' prognosis to excellent. Mental status exam now showed the class to have a 36 hour, non-stop attention span and delusions of grandeur in more than 20 students who wanted to become surgeons. Fourth Year : Career choices were made and the class scattered to the four corners of the earth including Scotalnd, India, Belize, Africa and Fuquay-Varina. Increasing knowledge and responsi- bility encouraged self-confidence. A brief setback was suffered during the residency application and interview process, including acute delusions of grandeur, but large doses of AI ' s soon cured any preoccupation with matters other than sleep and food. Physical exam showed the height as on admisssion, but the class mean weight was increasing. Mental status exam now revealed the class to be A 0 x 3 with appropriate perspective. The final disposition of the class is left to the astrologers and random number generators at the NRMP. Disposition : Transfer to residency appointments when available for further work-up and treatment of medical ignorance. Follow-up : 5th year reunion and every 5 years thereafter. DISCHARGE MEDICATIONS: Caffeine, 1 gulp q 5 min. prn Ranitidine, 50 mg bid Minoxidil, topical to scalp cc: Dr. Stuart Bondurant Various lending institutions Director of Alumni Contributions American Express Gold CArd Dictated by DM, AI for Stuart Bondurant, MD

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In considering what to say to you today, I first thought I would like to some important medical axioms to take with you, like: All laboratory data indicated are abnormal, or doctors deserve the lab data they order; and considering the cause of any illness in your patient, first think drugs, other things ... . . . Now these are some of my heroes, my four B’s: Brannon taught hard work and service; my Mom how to laugh; Burkitt urges me to use my common sense and treat the whole person in my care; Brand reminds me tc touch, be vulnerable, and to learn from pain; and Brittingham demonstrated how to know the joy of medicine — to actually love my patients . . . Soon you will be medical doctors — you, too have heroes, to learn from, to model yourselves after. I hope my heroes have stimulated you to review your past and push on in the service of mankind you have been called to and prepared for. I do have one more hero, my wife, who earned a PHT degree when I graduated from med school — that’s a Putting Hubby Through degree. Many of you graduates have spouses that need congratulations, too — they deserve PHTs or PWTs also. In closing, I want to recall for you a practice performed in desert areas long ago. After a long trip on dirty roads as you entered a home, a servant would come out and take a basin of water and a towel and wash your feet. It was a lowly job but necessary. It would be unheard of for the master of the house to do it. As you enter the next stage of your profession, you have a decision to ponder: Am I to be a master for my patients, or a servant — even to the point of “washing their feet”? I believe that if you choose to be a mas- ter, you will find frustration. But if you choose to be a servant, you will come to know the true joy of medicine. I would like now to present this basin and towel to you, the class of 1988. As you take this, may you all remember that in the coming years, you can cure sometimes, relieve often, but comfort always. Dr. Henry Lesesne

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ACTIVITIES Student Officers 1987-1988 Whitehead Council President: Vice President: Secretary: Treasurer: Stan Watson Mary Francis Casey Catherine Gordon Rob Noecker Class Presidents: Class of ’88 Class of 89 Class of ’90 Class of ' 91 Pete Dalldorf Sarah Klemmer, Shannon Carson Karen Popovich , Steve Parker Barry Kitch, Margaret Woodbury Whitehead Representatives Class of ’88 Class of ’89 Class of ’90 Class of ’91 Craig Charles Bob Noel, Trudy Shahady Lori Wecker Todd Tanner Admissions Committee Representatives Class of ' 88 Class of ' 89 Class of ’90 Class of ’91 Jane Laco, Deepak Sawhney Lisa Richardson, Adam Wilson Barry DeGregorio Jobe G. Metts, III, Bobby Vogler American Medical Association Student Section President: Co-Vice Presidents: Dean Porter Rob Noecker, Michelle Cherry American Medical Student Association President: Vice President: Secretary: Fund Raisers: King: Betsy Brown Gene Radford Nancy Stoudt, Brian Brost Craig Wierum, Lorrie Basnight Jim McCarthy Student National Medical Association Co-Presidents: Vanessa Fenner, Albertina Smith Christian Medical Society Co-Presidents: Stuart Cooper, Joy Wilson, Sissel Topple CROP Lunch Coordinators: Bill Bradford, Betsy Brown