UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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nflmctbuij M Lane. .H Bluff We have heard of bluffs and cold bluffs, but this was a bluff served on ice. It will go down in the memories of its hearers as an exhibition wherein the bluffer outdid all his previous attempts. To Dr. Hill's simple question, How does the vagus nerve affect the heart, our friend Lane launched into a description most fearful and Wonderful, beginning with ganglionic cells and ending with the amoeboid move- ments of the heart. The class was stunned for a moment but the digniiied instructorjs laugh reassured them and an answering roar came from everyone present. As usual, Lane was ready to offer explanations. This time his lack of knowledge was due to the fact that he had not been to court for several days. 99

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Colfax, Nevada County, Cal. Dear Editor :-I write you from the old farm regarding a very serious step which I contemplate taking. I have determined to enter the holy state of matrimony. Am a young man of above average size and appearances, dark, strong and have exceptional musical ability, occupying thereby, a prominent position in the U. C. band, playing the noble instrument, the slide trombone. The affinity to which I make reference is also a striking brunette, medium stature, and is capable of making such lovely biscuitsg enough in itself to endear a home-loving man to one who might lack in other charms. This lady is at present engaged as a kitchen mechanic at Colfax, and I am most of the time at San Francissco learning my profession, Dentistry. We correspond regularly, and those days on which I fail to receive a letter from Agatha, I am considerably depressed. You can readily see the mental state in which this azffair-de-com' has placed me and can advise me whether it would be wise to marry and join the musician's union, renouncing dentistry, or to continue my college course, thereby delaying marriage. Answer to one who is sorely tried. ' Yours, I-I. PHILLIPS BEAZER. .II Few Hints Evans-Dance for the boys. Get wise on those stories, Bill. Cheese, McDaniel, not quite so comical. Lane-No doubt you find the profs. somewhat different here. Many tried your stunt years ago and failed. I-Ioward-That's right I-Iovvard, speak up so We can all hear you, though your larynx is attached to your vertebral column. Be careful VVillie and don't get balled. Walce up Rodolph, King Dodo has come. Farley, Sobey and Olvvell-Cut out that baseball talk and pay a quarter to see a game. 98

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Things the Editor LUas .Hsked to Keep Out of Chaff Rhodes-Don,t put anything in about that leap year proposal. Miss Baclzy-Don't say that I told you that Mr. Howard came to the lecture that Dr. I-Iodgen gave our sorority. Bill D011-Don't say anything about my chewing tobacco. Gzfffevz, Place and Aten-Don't say anything about the afternoon we went up to take Dr. Williamson's examination and found that it had been given in the morning. W czlton-Don't mention the fact that I wrote a letter to my father asking for money and another to a girl, and then put them in the Wrong envelopes. f 1 Nzfcolaz'-I wish you would not say anything about the break my patient made, it would not sound well. You see, it was this way: I showed the doctor a treatment I had just taken out and he asked me when I put it in. I said, last Saturday, but the patient spoke up and said: l'VVhy, no, you mean last Sunday. Pop Middleton-VVhatever you do, don't call me Mayor Schmitz. My wife objects. - JF Dream of Turkey There was a bunch of Nitrous Gxide left in the bag after the extraction, and I-Iomer, having the habit, coupled up with the rubber and sucked in a yard or two of the gas, which got to him pretty plenty in a short time. Then he began to feel like the Sultan of Turkey. Another drag on the hose and beautiful Houris appeared, floating gracefully through the perfumedatmosphere, edging closer and closer to old Lompoc with each inhalation. At this stage of the proceedings the strong man's eyes tried hard to gaze withinhis dome, his legs became weak in the region of his garters and his block went against the iron railing with a ca-punk. Back from the realms of bliss he came-back from the dizzy Huzzies -to the company ot common students with whom he argued and tried hard to convince that he wasn't up in the air, not even for a fraction of a second. They, of course, let him have his way. Yes, indeed, with emphasis upon the indeed However, the old boy was quite sore for a long time subsequently because of being cheated out of meeting the diminutive female from the Nile, who had blown in just as he came to earth again. 100