UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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Colfax, Nevada County, Cal. Dear Editor :-I write you from the old farm regarding a very serious step which I contemplate taking. I have determined to enter the holy state of matrimony. Am a young man of above average size and appearances, dark, strong and have exceptional musical ability, occupying thereby, a prominent position in the U. C. band, playing the noble instrument, the slide trombone. The affinity to which I make reference is also a striking brunette, medium stature, and is capable of making such lovely biscuitsg enough in itself to endear a home-loving man to one who might lack in other charms. This lady is at present engaged as a kitchen mechanic at Colfax, and I am most of the time at San Francissco learning my profession, Dentistry. We correspond regularly, and those days on which I fail to receive a letter from Agatha, I am considerably depressed. You can readily see the mental state in which this azffair-de-com' has placed me and can advise me whether it would be wise to marry and join the musician's union, renouncing dentistry, or to continue my college course, thereby delaying marriage. Answer to one who is sorely tried. ' Yours, I-I. PHILLIPS BEAZER. .II Few Hints Evans-Dance for the boys. Get wise on those stories, Bill. Cheese, McDaniel, not quite so comical. Lane-No doubt you find the profs. somewhat different here. Many tried your stunt years ago and failed. I-Ioward-That's right I-Iovvard, speak up so We can all hear you, though your larynx is attached to your vertebral column. Be careful VVillie and don't get balled. Walce up Rodolph, King Dodo has come. Farley, Sobey and Olvvell-Cut out that baseball talk and pay a quarter to see a game. 98

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Correspondence Bureau, U. C. D. MATRIMONIAL DEPARTMENT FOR FRESHMEN. in i Chico, Dec. 24, IQOZ. Dear Editor :-I am a young man, twenty years old, blond, lool-: good Cperfect eyesightj, and have given up my important position on the farm, when crops are good, too, to assume my present position, that of a dental student at San Francisco. CRah! Rah lj I have no bad or expensive habits and am of a deeply religious temperament. Object, matrimony, and in realizing this perfect condition would like to meet my afhnity through you as a medium. The lady in question should be of medium stature, blond, Cnot a peroxidej and should weigh in at 150 pounds, in order that she be able to stand light housework. Yours for the blissful condition, -.....- HARRY D. MARSH. Santa Ana, September 1, IQO2. Dear Editor 1-I write you this letter from the land of sunshine, oranges, flowers and walnuts, to tell you of my increasing desire to attain the matrimonial state. I send you the only photograph of myself that I have at hand. I am depicted swinging in the hammock, which is hung between two of my father's walnut trees, C good producers, tooj. The animal at my right is my good dog, Bruno. I am a young man, have not as yet votedg have lived in the South a number of years, during which time I have not worked to any extent, except a preliminary go at the subject of Pharmacy-but have finally decided to take up the profession of Dentistry, in which field I expect to do much good. I weigh 147 pounds, am 4 feet 6 inches in height, chest measure-- ment, 40 inches, and am willing. 'Would like to meet a young lady, brunette, who is strong and active and who has no aversion to work Cas the future crop of tooth- aches may run out.j Any moneys she may have will tend to increase my affection in a direct ratio to the amount she possesses. I-Ioping to hear from some fair one, through your valuable publi- cation as a medium, I remain, You,-S, HBILLH FLOOD. 97

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nflmctbuij M Lane. .H Bluff We have heard of bluffs and cold bluffs, but this was a bluff served on ice. It will go down in the memories of its hearers as an exhibition wherein the bluffer outdid all his previous attempts. To Dr. Hill's simple question, How does the vagus nerve affect the heart, our friend Lane launched into a description most fearful and Wonderful, beginning with ganglionic cells and ending with the amoeboid move- ments of the heart. The class was stunned for a moment but the digniiied instructorjs laugh reassured them and an answering roar came from everyone present. As usual, Lane was ready to offer explanations. This time his lack of knowledge was due to the fact that he had not been to court for several days. 99