UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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.The Meant No Offense If Dr. Reading could have found his voice at once, he would have felt much better, but then it was a serious proposition that confronted him, and, being absolutely without guile, he was really startled when the latest co-ed goo-gooed through her glasses and confidentially asked him if he knew anything about mechanical dentistry. Several minutes elapsed before the Doctor spoke. Finally he haughtily informed her that he was a graduate ot the U. C. D., and, besides, a practicing dentist. The young lady begged to be pardoned for her seeming rudeness, but truly, she had been under the impression that nice, clean men-nice, clean, handsome men never did that sort of work. The Old Broken Bases I. How dear to my heart are the scenes where I studied, Wlien fond recollection presents them to view, The lectures, the quizzes, the sub I dissected, And ev'ry fond thing which my student days knew. The great yawning cavities and the gold I put in them, The plates and the crowns C how I wished there were morej, The plate of aluminum and the celluloid denture, And e'en the old bases that laid round the floor. The old engine bases, the broken down bases, The rickety bases that laid round the floor. II. Those old broken bases, I hailed them as treasures, For often at noon when returned from my lunch, I found them the source of most exquisite pleasure, And tried them in turn, every one in the bunch. I-Iow hercely I seized one with hands that were glowing, i And quick 'cross the room it went spinning and fell! Then soon with the sweat of abandon upon me, And trying to smile, to my patient I'd yell, These old engine bases, these broken down bases, These old engine bases, I wish were in hell! 96

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Howard Tries to jolly Dr. Ujilliamson Edward gazed admiringly upon his reflection in the mirror and then affected the pose he would assume in Dr. VXfilliamson's office when answering the medico's query as to his ailment. He rehearsed his little gag Qfor he was bent on jollying the Profj to himself, thinking how delighted the Doc will be when he learns that it isn't the popular junior malady, but an intermittent liver complaint that medicine is needed for. Wfhat was left of him hied to the place on Powell street. Mr. Coon ushered the handsome youth into the presence of the Medical Advisor and E. joseph got busy immediately. Doctor, szud he, my pulmonary organs are- Eddie stopped to observe the effect. The Doctor was smiling grimly and thinking of more trouble for George Reed and also of the number of wounded juniors when the gaggist, thoroughly satisfied that his anatomical in- structor was going some resumed- Not at all abnormal nor diseased in the least, but I am constrained to relate that I suffered greatly all last night from an involuntary dissolution, apparently, of my corporal entity, and considering the exigencies of this present case while yet in its incipiency, I deemed it advisable to consult you in this matter as- O, Fudgef, roared Dr. Vtfilliamson, chopping him off abruptly, VVhy didn't you save time and wind by having one of those Senior booze-lighters pilot you to about four lingers of blackberry brandy? Good-day. Mr. Coon, call the next patient? fx f XX X rf N Mil .... . ....,,...,,...,...,.............,.,........... P -SSH!! ii udk I gill 3 1 lv lf U viii? .--5' V - an . , ' 1 -are .I gigiifjg-i?4'iif. ,fagegtiigy ,W g-he A ,NU-I jVo.1 95

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Correspondence Bureau, U. C. D. MATRIMONIAL DEPARTMENT FOR FRESHMEN. in i Chico, Dec. 24, IQOZ. Dear Editor :-I am a young man, twenty years old, blond, lool-: good Cperfect eyesightj, and have given up my important position on the farm, when crops are good, too, to assume my present position, that of a dental student at San Francisco. CRah! Rah lj I have no bad or expensive habits and am of a deeply religious temperament. Object, matrimony, and in realizing this perfect condition would like to meet my afhnity through you as a medium. The lady in question should be of medium stature, blond, Cnot a peroxidej and should weigh in at 150 pounds, in order that she be able to stand light housework. Yours for the blissful condition, -.....- HARRY D. MARSH. Santa Ana, September 1, IQO2. Dear Editor 1-I write you this letter from the land of sunshine, oranges, flowers and walnuts, to tell you of my increasing desire to attain the matrimonial state. I send you the only photograph of myself that I have at hand. I am depicted swinging in the hammock, which is hung between two of my father's walnut trees, C good producers, tooj. The animal at my right is my good dog, Bruno. I am a young man, have not as yet votedg have lived in the South a number of years, during which time I have not worked to any extent, except a preliminary go at the subject of Pharmacy-but have finally decided to take up the profession of Dentistry, in which field I expect to do much good. I weigh 147 pounds, am 4 feet 6 inches in height, chest measure-- ment, 40 inches, and am willing. 'Would like to meet a young lady, brunette, who is strong and active and who has no aversion to work Cas the future crop of tooth- aches may run out.j Any moneys she may have will tend to increase my affection in a direct ratio to the amount she possesses. I-Ioping to hear from some fair one, through your valuable publi- cation as a medium, I remain, You,-S, HBILLH FLOOD. 97