UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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Things lUe would Like to Know W-fhat Humphreys has to say to Dr. lNillia1nson at the close oi every lecture. Wfhy Mcljaniels always wants Evans to dance. lf Evans was ever known to dig up for any assessment. And why he walks to the Callaghan building every morning. And if it broke his heart when he bought that bunch of violets. Wfhere Mcliinney went W'ednesday evening, November 12, whom he saw, and what he did. VVhy Rhoner parted with his hirsute adornment and if he has called on his friend from Eureka yet. Also, why he did not look at the check the blond waitress handed him in Browns restaurant. Wlhy Callahan took the goats into the Freshman lab. Wlhy Grahanrs plate didn't get hard after he vulcanized it for three hours with flexible rubber. VVhy Miss Boardman is not going to practice dentistry. Wfhat Chart is going to do, not having Sweitzer to josh. If Fredricks thinks he is playing a cornet when he makes that unearthly noise. XV hy YValton beat such a hasty retreat from Miss Boardman that day in the lab. VVhat the disturbance in the Bacteriological lab. was about. lf Stansbury, '05, is raising that moustache because he wants to, or because his Wife wants him to, or because he can't help it. VVhy Joe Mazza can talk so loud downstairs and can not speak above a whisper when he is called on in class room. VVhy Bill Craycroft always devitalizes his instruments. VVhy Tim Callahan's lady friend brought him a pickle stuck in a bun. W-'hat the question was that made the goat answer Ma-azzaf' If Shanasy has joined the gun club yet. By the .Ykin of His Teeth First Student- That was a corker of an ex. that Dr. Baer gave. How did you come out? Second Student- NfVell, I took for my last question Nasmyths membrane, so I think l got through. 93

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there come unto him things called Patients at a Resort denominated the lnhrmary. The Patients are subject to a system of torture, out-classing the Rack of former ages. All this is done that the Junior may learn and become accustomed to the contact and handling of the Patients. CF ees nominal. D The Police prohibit the true expression here of a juniors opinion of a Freshman, but he looks up to Seniors. He considers Freshmen in the light of Prey, and Harasses them Muchly. The general impression created by a Junior is Negative, lacking as he does in the Primitive Attributes of a Freshman or the More advanced and trained Qualities of a Senior. Behold the Senior. He is mostly Finished, but Contact with the Worlcl where the Patients dont have to,', and can choose, will result in his Finish. This is the final development of the Raw Freshman, and what a Senior canlt accomplish in the application of the Principles and Practices of Dental Surgery is of little value. He will soon be a Practitioner and will be compelled to Labor and VVork, probably lacking at this time Parental Monetary Support. Still there are other Avenues open to Energetic young men, and One is never too old to Learn. gf ,1J..,. , V. ff X f f 41N , is 47452- HDUSTV RHODES GETS TANGLED WITH HIS PA'l IElN!T., 92

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J. Cowes-.favant To the earnest toiler of the South Seas must be given the credit of discovering a new cause for the abnormal protrusion of the superior anterior teeth. He designates it with the classical term Gum Suckingf' Now, if it were Gum Chewing or Gum Thus or Gum Boots or Gum Dasted or somebody else's gum, you couldnt show some of us, but when it comes to that Honolulu discovery, we are about all in. It's too deep for us, Johnny. Certainly, it must be all right, and on the square, for Kinley and Dunbar were heard discussing it between bites recently-and that's a very good sign that this tootsy-wootsy business isn't conducive to a perfect occlusion. Our hats are oh? to you, Cowes. L- Dunbar's Trip During the last Christmas vacation ex-president Dunbar took a trip to Santa Rosa, the attraction being a certain fair young lady. Now, it chanced that these two did take a trip, yea, even unto Sebastopol, a near-by town. So far the plot is commonplace, but listen-they miss the train, Santa Rosa is still fifteen miles away and the young lady's mother worries. Dunbar bethinks himself of his friend Kinley whose home is only a few miles distant. Thither they went their weary way, a.nd what will not a man do for his friend? Kinley, coming home with his last load of brush, takes them upon the wagon, and finally lands them in Santa Rosa about midnight. Wliat he said as he drove home, thinking about his next day's work, had better not be written. .furprising After vainly struggling with the rubber dam for half an hour, Humphreys says to his neighbor, Say Dungan, where'll I punch the first hole in this thing? 'fAbout there, says the latter, indicating the position with his finger. Humphreys proceeds to punch the hole and does not notice the numerous folds in the dam. He holds it up to the light and discovers six holes scattered from margin to center. VVell, wouldn't that skin you ? says Humphreys, and I only punched one, l'm sure. 94