UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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there come unto him things called Patients at a Resort denominated the lnhrmary. The Patients are subject to a system of torture, out-classing the Rack of former ages. All this is done that the Junior may learn and become accustomed to the contact and handling of the Patients. CF ees nominal. D The Police prohibit the true expression here of a juniors opinion of a Freshman, but he looks up to Seniors. He considers Freshmen in the light of Prey, and Harasses them Muchly. The general impression created by a Junior is Negative, lacking as he does in the Primitive Attributes of a Freshman or the More advanced and trained Qualities of a Senior. Behold the Senior. He is mostly Finished, but Contact with the Worlcl where the Patients dont have to,', and can choose, will result in his Finish. This is the final development of the Raw Freshman, and what a Senior canlt accomplish in the application of the Principles and Practices of Dental Surgery is of little value. He will soon be a Practitioner and will be compelled to Labor and VVork, probably lacking at this time Parental Monetary Support. Still there are other Avenues open to Energetic young men, and One is never too old to Learn. gf ,1J..,. , V. ff X f f 41N , is 47452- HDUSTV RHODES GETS TANGLED WITH HIS PA'l IElN!T., 92

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.H Plea from Mr. Dungan ENTITLED, WHAT'S IN A NAME, OR GIVE ME THAT PRIN'rER's ADDRESS Though I ought to feel mad, I can only look sad, Wfhen Danny, how can he, Calls me lXf'l1'. Dungany, Tho' its Dung'an's the name On which I bring fame. Now the boys call me Dinney, And that's better than Skinny, Though Dunny's not funny, T I'll bet any money That my nickname will stay Wfhen I'ni old and gray. Primer Fables of Dental .ftudents CWith apologies to Eugene Fielclj See the Freshman Child, V He is a creature ot indifferent habits, whose object in life is that of being instructed in The Principles and Practices of Dental Surgery. He is accustomed to making' much noise and is known to give vent to Apache-like yells, without apparent reason, other than those emanating from his own weak mental apparatus. In his own opinion he is beyond compare, but the opinions of his Professors and Preceptors are denied publication in this work. He is also rich in the knowledge of Anatomy and practice of Dis- section of the Human body, and knows many things of minute structure of cells and the Theory of Digestive Ferments and Juices. As a mechanic this creature is eminently a wonder, constructing' as he does, many appliances used for alleviating the pains and Odontalgic troubles of the Human race. In the opinion of many, the Freshman is nothing short of a Woiwcler and a Corker. This is 3. Junior. One capable of doing many VVonderful Things and giving utterance to VVise W'o1'ds.' He is the Freshman in a state of Half-way development toward Seniority. He is a practitioner and 91

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Things lUe would Like to Know W-fhat Humphreys has to say to Dr. lNillia1nson at the close oi every lecture. Wfhy Mcljaniels always wants Evans to dance. lf Evans was ever known to dig up for any assessment. And why he walks to the Callaghan building every morning. And if it broke his heart when he bought that bunch of violets. Wfhere Mcliinney went W'ednesday evening, November 12, whom he saw, and what he did. VVhy Rhoner parted with his hirsute adornment and if he has called on his friend from Eureka yet. Also, why he did not look at the check the blond waitress handed him in Browns restaurant. Wlhy Callahan took the goats into the Freshman lab. Wlhy Grahanrs plate didn't get hard after he vulcanized it for three hours with flexible rubber. VVhy Miss Boardman is not going to practice dentistry. Wfhat Chart is going to do, not having Sweitzer to josh. If Fredricks thinks he is playing a cornet when he makes that unearthly noise. XV hy YValton beat such a hasty retreat from Miss Boardman that day in the lab. VVhat the disturbance in the Bacteriological lab. was about. lf Stansbury, '05, is raising that moustache because he wants to, or because his Wife wants him to, or because he can't help it. VVhy Joe Mazza can talk so loud downstairs and can not speak above a whisper when he is called on in class room. VVhy Bill Craycroft always devitalizes his instruments. VVhy Tim Callahan's lady friend brought him a pickle stuck in a bun. W-'hat the question was that made the goat answer Ma-azzaf' If Shanasy has joined the gun club yet. By the .Ykin of His Teeth First Student- That was a corker of an ex. that Dr. Baer gave. How did you come out? Second Student- NfVell, I took for my last question Nasmyths membrane, so I think l got through. 93