UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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The Marchus Man Oh, lXlarchus of the Freshnian class, A mighty man is he, At least he thinks he is, and that's The same to him as if he he. His hair is light and wavy, His eyes are shining blue, ,His oral cavity is large l tones are, too. And his ora He talks at all class meetings, He spiels and spiels some more, H'e knows about most everything And always wants the tloor. low, little here be Man wants but ' - Y that little longg lor wants 'Tis not with him exactly so Though 'tis so in the song. His wants are many and if told, 1' nanv a score: Wfould number 1 C i ' ' halt a chance, And if he cl only They'cl number many more. He wants the class to honor h T be their prex he'll striveg im, o He wants to be the eclitor Of Chaff for naughty live. He wants to be historian Cf the illustrious Freshman classg ' l Treasurer The Secretary anc And Vice-Prex and, alas-- He would like to be the prompter Of Parliamentary law, Tn the class or any place Wfhere he can use his jaw. Oh, our Marchus is a mighty man A mighty man is he, And the muscles of his brawny - strong can be. Are strong as S3 J Z1 W

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DR. READING .H Junior Favorite When it's up to us we call on you, CAnd calls like these are far from few.j You're there with bells when we're afraid, And things come easy with your aid. Heller and His Friend If there ever was an industrious youth it is Heller. He not only works hard himself, but has his friends work for him-especially that particular friend who sits in his chair most of the time, or on a stool at his feet Watching him operate. She happened to come up to college one day, and, while waiting for Heller, became interested in another patient, a lady who had not yet been signed for work. Heller's friend thought she saw a chance to do a little touting so she said, Just wait a minute and Dr. Heller will fix you up.', DL Heller threw a Winsome smile at the prospective patient, which dazzled her, and before she could recover he had her in his chair, making an examination of her mouth. Dr. Sullivan had been an interested observer of this little drama, and he thought it about time for the entrance of the hero to rescue the fair maiden from the clutches of the villain, so he stalked over and in a few gentle and well- chosen words informed all parties that it was his business to assign the patients. Quick curtain, the gallery cheering because the villain is foiled again. S2

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U. of C., March 32cl, 1903. My Dear Graft :-Here I am all alone by mineself, resting noise- lessly in my most undelightful room, skituated on der fairst Hoor Hlooking downvardsu of der bifurcated enameled front, Hotel de Mrs. Skinnerf' It has a excruciation wiew of dree tin roofs und seven pack yards, und I am so strong from climbing up eight flights of stairs. In it is my ped-room, but der ped is folted up away in der tay time und put in der closet. Most of der time dot I am in my room, I am at der college making dentistness. Der veader is a fine one-cold like blazers. My room has seen better suns. Der news here is a scarcity, der poys are all too goot dis year. Maybe it vill be someding didditting next year. I hope it. None of der student poys has alretty pulled a infernal mamillary jaw out yet once. I have yet not caught on to der crowd of Profs. Ven I do, I vill talk German to dem. Last veek a schmart one mit pig names talked about Mr. Chemistry. I dink dey call dot Prof. Hogden, By Golly! Graft, I could see not a vord he vas talking abouit. I must have had my tongue around my eye toot. Maybe my visdom teets are darfts yet. lt is a very uncommon ding to see some of der poys eyes fall out. Vell I suppose it vill came to us pie und pie: as der longer ve live ve find out someding by-chimney. Say, Graft, I vas next to a pretty-near gratuated student last veek. He looks like Dusty Roads, but it isn't. Tim Callahan took me up in der unfirmary. Gee! but dot punch is certainly unfirm. A voman camed in vid a face dot looked like it had been stuffed mit dry sponges und den some von turned der hose on. She certainly pelonged to der swell gang. Vell, she valked in und some Lyton vater vas handed to her. She got it und den she got a swift stab vith a touble- barrel'cl powie-knife rite in der face. Say, vot camecl out of her mout vould make you study plumbing. Der lady sait her face painted her mostly between last Tuesday und chesterday, den it began to croud her nose, ears and eyes ouit. She surely looked der part, Some von gave her a subscription for antifat of der face seven or five times a day. She vent away quite cut up, Ach! Graft, put dose seemore's do pack avay a lot of gold. I guess I vill chump der study. Its a shame to vast such a lot of precious medal, Ven you need it so to spend a good time for. It vould pay a fellar to stant around und pick up der gold vat falls out on der floor. Talk about der lady spitting out pearls S4