UCSF School of Dentistry - Chaff Yearbook (San Francisco, CA)

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Letters to the Editor. .H .20 THE following letters were found in the Chief EditOr's Waste-paper basket, but the Roasting Editor, on the alert for news, thought them to be too good a thing to let pass. EDITOR OF CHAFF --Dem' Sir: I have the following bill for damages which the Junior class refused to pay. These damages were Committed on my personal property on jan. 26, I899, and I wish to make the affair public, so please publish the following itemized account: 3 Pants' Buttons QE zc .... . . . 350.06 I Dirn0nd Dick Novel. . . . .05 I Tin Whistle ....... . .05 I Broken Bicycle Pump ..... . . .... . .03 I Stick of Chewing Candy ............. . .oz Damage to Mouth from Being Hit with an Apple , , , ,Io Time Spent Dodging Missiles GD, Ioc. per hr. . . . .05 Mental Anguish .............. . . .Io Total ........ ........, 5 0.46 Kindly do me this favor. Yours, A. D. PRINCE. EDITOR or CHAFFH--Deaf' Str: I wish you would publish the fact that the Aluminum Plate I cast last january vvas a remarkable piece of ski!! and not luck as a great many of my colleagues thought. Therefore please grant me this favor as I wish the matter to be thor- oughly understood. Yours truly, R. E. BURNS. EDITOR OF CIMIAFFH--Dear SZ'7'.' I wish to ask a delicate favor of you. I hear that you are going to publish a comment on my con- stancy Qif you might call it suchQ With a certain co-ed. Now jbfmse do not do this, as I am afraid a certain young lady out in the Mission would get onto it, and then --well-I don? know what would hezfnjben. Hoping you will consider this matter favorably, I am yours truly, A. W. BAKER. 74

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Quite Cute! MR. MILBERRY: After you graduate, Stokes, are you going to throw your practise towards any particular specialty? 'I MR. STGKES: Well, I don't know. I haven't thought of that, but suppose that'll be a good scheme. MR. M.: Yesg I want to make a specialty of oral surgery. MR. S.: That will be splendid. How would it-be for me to make a A specialty of 2017-ffE7Z surgery ? 'instinct FJ DR. D'ANcoNA: Mr. Heitman, when an ostrich is pursued, it sticks its head in the sand. What does that show ? CFor once Mr. Heitman failed to have some sort of an answer ready.J 062' ess 67 Rl Xl! M is L' Rssuadr 73

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Change Cars! MEMBERS of Dr. Sullivanis class in Pathology are apt to be over- come by drowsiness. Colegrove, after a night out, was taking a pleas- ant snooze, during which he began to speak incoherently. Neighbors aroused Mr. C. and Dr. Sullivan reminded the genial Bert that there was no objection to his sleeping, but the lecturer .could not allow talk- ing in the sleep. ' Rural Scenes DR. WILLIQMSON recognized Leppo as a farmer and tried to have his familiarity with the plow, aid in suggesting a bone assisting in the formation of the nasal fossa. 'Leppo tried to disguise his farming knowledge, and disclaimed his intimacy with the plowshare bone--the wmcr. Selections from Some Tresbmen l2ote:books SOLIDS are called Pyrometers. C MERCURY:high boiling point and low freezing point. ALCOHOLilOW boiling point. AN oracle is a thing in the heart. THE heart is situated in front of the spine, and below the head. One Tdea of tbe Situation IN a 6'07'I'Z'd0l' c01we1'saz'z'0n, after Colonel Edwards talk on Affiliated Athletics, a student dropped into poetry, and, although it is not a masterpiece in rhyme, we publish it for the idea expressed:- For if you have the least desire To witness an athletic fire, And see every lab. door closed, Go hear genial Colonel Edwards talk Of how the Dentals can toe the chalk, And help 'Old Berkeley' to support Her football team, oh I How'd you like to be the ice man, joe ? 75