University of California Los Angeles - Bruin Life / Southern Campus Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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STOP!!! Add up your social awareness points, subtract the total number of geek points and obtain your total Standard Liberal Average. Compare your score with the chart below to see what kind of liberal you are. 10-20 Joe Bruin — you sign all the petitions on campus, irregardless; the Daily Bruin is your Bible and main source of world news; you commute five days a week, are an active member of your sorority or fraternity; you support Swami X and some of your best friends are black. 21-50 Julie ' Bruin Belle ' — you are involved in all non-political, non-controversial campus activities and programs. You faithfully give blood, time, energy and many hours to a Mardi Gras booth to preserve the status quo. You delight at being called a stud or a fox , missed all your classes for a week in hopes of seeing someone streak so you could write home about it and bought a yearbook. 51-75 Chuck ' pseudo-liberal ' Young — you wear coor dinated jeans ' n ' shirts that make you look ' cool ' but not materialistic or vain; you lament the decline of campus activism and you march in all the right rallies. You (rightly) think Swami X is disgusting. You have a Don ' t blame me . . . sticker and some of your best friends are gay. 76-100 You could only be Suz Rosen . . .

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GLEWER ' S PROFILES (pronounced gloo-er ' s Brown Label ) JOSE BRUIN HOME: Deadwood, Xa. AGE: £3 HOBBIES: Singing, Dancing, Clapping, Tail-Wagging LAST BOOK READ: Winnie the Pooh LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Tap danced Tommy Trojan ' s groin. QUOTE: When I was just a cub I dreamt about being the UCLA mascot, but now I only do it for the honey. PROFILE: Altruistic SCOTCH: Glewer ' s Brown Label Authentic Glewer ' s Brown Label is the same sulphur-smelling concoction that simpleminded folk have overpaid for for four generations. Pour some in a glass, notice how little it exhibits the properties of a liquid as it cracks into cone-shaped bits of brown. Just imagine those racing down your colon and into the blood stream. Tiny time pills . . .